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MR
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 25, 2008
Age: 39
Posts: 392
Location: USA
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 Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:47 pm Post subject: The first time Autism was something I related to |
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The first time I read something about autism and related to what it said, ironically, it also came with distinctly not fitting the simplistic description of autism it gave.
I read something that said people with autism can't read non-verbal clues, and it talked about the social difficulties this causes. And, whatever precisely it said about those difficulties, I thought, "that's me on the internet". I really related to what it said about those social difficulties, but specifically with internet forums. (It hasn't been so bad overall lately as back then. Partly, though, choice of forums.)
Well, I did think, yeah, of course, I don't get non verbal clues, on the internet. And that lack I was thinking, yes, contributes to the difficulties. But, then, everyone else is missing those nonverbals too, and they get along fine.
Which made me think perhaps that description of autism was too simplistic. Also made me curious about it.
When I learned about the idea of theory of mind, it made more sense. Like, yeah, sometimes I don't understand how others think, and I'm more likely to have problems with the on the internet. I don't know how much of that is nonverbal clues to what others are thinking, versus non-verbal clues that me and someone else are not connecting, or whatever... better judging who to engage with and who to leave alone.
And, the theory of mind idea explains how those other folks got along just fine. They understood how each other thinks, which went a long way to making up for the lack of non-verbals I think. |
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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 19, 2008
Posts: 1762
Location: US, midmap
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| Posted: Mon Jun 30, 2008 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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| I think many people on the spectrum are exceptional writers. |
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earthmonkey
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 06, 2005
Age: 18
Posts: 509
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 1:57 am Post subject: |
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Actually, I'm a lot better with non-verbal cues (reading) than I am with verbal stuff, whether interpreting or speaking. In fact, when I was 10 and diagnosed, the psychologist described me as having "excellent verbal skills, but not good at reading non-verbal cues". And I gave a confused look and said, "but that's the opposite".
For me, I just don't test that well with things like pictures of eye tests, but in real life as well as on TV and drawings, I'm actually pretty good with understanding what they mean, but I have tremendous difficulty finding the words and/or verbalizing. And if it's one thing I've learned in childhood, is that saying "I don't know" or some random word related to the question (such as stating a random word for an emotion, even if I know it's not the one I'm looking for) is generally taken as a better answer than echolalically repeating the question.
So while lots of people on the spectrum talk about having difficulty reading body language, for me this is not true, though I generally give atypical body language, so it's not like I'm "normal" on non-verbal stuff. I can, however, like many people who've learned to pass, to do certain expressions at will, though usually I don't have any room in my head to do this except in short bursts.
I first accepted it, despite this little thing, when I was told by my dad - he explained it as a different neurological wiring, and told me about how people with this wiring often have trouble socializing, and that there were autistic people who've gone into science and engineering (science being my main interest). I basically said okay and didn't think much of it.
Then when I was 13 about, I was having a really rough time, and depending on when you asked me I would say "ridiculous!" or "oh, yeah, that totally fits me" or "eh, maybe" or "actually I think I have a schizoid personality disorder" or "I'm kind of freaked out because I think I'm schizophrenic".
When I was 14 and a library aide, I ran across a Newsweek article about autism, and read it enthusiastically, and at this time was mostly interested in things like Baron-Cohen's extreme male brain theory and autism genetics, though I started to wonder about social issues too because in English that year we were reading Flowers for Algernon, and we had class discussions about ethics and genetic engineering and disabilities and quality of life and stuff.
The next year I was a freshman in high school and still mostly interested in genetics, though increasingly interested in social implications of stuff, and in biology class we had several ethics discussions, in one of which I described being autistic and started running into what I considered a t the time as ethical dilemmas.
I was increasingly becoming curious about these issues, though it would take another year before I started becoming really and thoroughly interested in social issues surrounding autism, and about a year ago started reading blog after blog after blog and a bunch of books and research papers and forum posts, and started getting a much clearer idea of the range of autistic people, including better understanding and acknowledgement of things about the way I act and process things and my rights with regard to the educational system.
Also, way before I was diagnosed, I would see other children who now in retrospect were probably autistic who I would recognize as being like me in certain ways, though I didn't have the word autism.
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"Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians." --Homer Simpson
"why is it bad for me to discuss why I need the lights off above my desk but it is ok for you to tell me you had a camera shoved up your a#$?" --an aspie coming out |
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