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aguales
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 16, 2007
Posts: 301
Location: Houston, Texas, USA
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 Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 10:27 am Post subject: postcards from the spectrum |
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If being on the spectrum feels like being in a different world seperated from others...if you could send a postcard from your world to someone, something, or someplace else, what would you write?
I suppose this is similar to the "make a confession" thread I've seen somewhere. But pretending you're sending a postcard might yield a different kind of reflection. Inspired by Postsecret and a post by notoriousmagik. |
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aguales
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 16, 2007
Posts: 301
Location: Houston, Texas, USA
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| Posted: Tue May 13, 2008 11:52 am Post subject: |
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Dear 1st girlfriend,
I think me being on the spectrum allowed you to disregard me when it was convenient for you. You taught me intimacy, though, and while being with you I was motivated to learn selflessness for the sake of love. You always used to wonder why I never talked alot. I had deep feelings for you but I did not know how to express them. My ability to detach from my surroundings also allowed me to detach from you sometimes and I often wondered if life without you would be better. I felt bad (but sometimes relieved) when I thought like that. Being quiet and enigmatic, I was your blank canvas and sometimes I hated that. I wanted to be my own person and not your work of art. Sometimes I painted myself into a perfect boyfriend persona. But that was never really me because I felt I didn't really have a choice in the matter. Being on the spectrum made me feel desperate for your love, and at the same time, desperate to escape from you. If I appeared disingenuous, it was because I did not know how to fully recognize and organize my genuine feelings then. We were both immature people who were trying to be mature, but the wonderful moments we shared are always a part of me. But there was so much asymmetry and I just could not understand and do the simplest things that would have made the difference for me and for you. Honestly, I was happier when we were no longer together for the final time. You wanted me to continue being your puppy but by then I was turning into a wolf. It's been over 10 years and you're in Florida with kids. You tried to contact me a few years ago and I apologize for having lost your number and not returning your call. I hope you are doing well. |
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aguales
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 16, 2007
Posts: 301
Location: Houston, Texas, USA
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 4:56 pm Post subject: |
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Dear Psychology degree,
I hate that I don't use you. I hate that I can't get a stable job even with you on my resume. I hate that I learned so much about myself, the world, and people in general while in the pursuit of attaining you but grew to distrust you. I wish I could use you to help others who need help, but I've severely deviated from that path. I may never use you and may even try for a different degree... Maybe someday I won't feel so useless. Maybe I'll rediscover your worth and my self-worth and we can work together. Untill then... |
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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 19, 2008
Posts: 1762
Location: US, midmap
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 5:35 pm Post subject: |
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Dear Place Where I Grew Up,
I wish you had nicer people. I wish people were more sophisticated too. I wish I could have had one tutor as a teacher who nutured my intellect and just paid attention to me instead of being bogged down in a class room with bullies and hicks, trying to figure out everyone around me and fit into their world even though I didn't understand or belong. I think I would be more successful now if that were the case. |
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