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Onibunny
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 09, 2008
Posts: 70
Location: California
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 Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject: fear of authority? web of guilt. |
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Is anyone else freeze with the idea of confrontations with authority figures?
I always figure it will result in the worst case scenario, and will then lead to a domino effect. 
ie: Talk to the police about a traffic violation: they will take me to jail.
if I go to jail my father will be so angry and disown me.
the shame of being disowned will force me to kill myself.
this happens on a smaller scale everyday.
everyone is always mad, aren't they?  |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 20625
Location: Central Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 6:42 pm Post subject: |
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That's one of my biggest fears.
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tomboy4good
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 15, 2008
Posts: 444
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, as soon as someone starts treating me as though I have done something wrong, I mentally freeze up & start to shake. Sometimes I also hyperventilate. This is the case whether it's in person or over the phone, or anywhere at anytime. My parents also still have the ability to upset me.
It doesn't matter if someone has actual authority or if it's just my imagination. Then I am angry at my over reaction & I end up beating myself up. |
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Programmer
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 25, 2008
Posts: 80
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:09 pm Post subject: Re: fear of authority? web of guilt. |
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| Onibunny wrote: | | everyone is always mad, aren't they? |
This is constantly said by Aspies. It is because Aspies always suppress slight aggression or anger. NTs either are not capable of it or don't. So when you see slight anger you empathize something major is wrong. If you showed slight anger something serious would be wrong. So it is effectively misplaced Empathy.
As for tickets that is common. Especially in situations you don't commonly get into: like getting a ticket. Tell the officer you have Aspergers and that this situation is very stressful to you. Next go over in your mind what he has on you. He caught you going over the speed limit then the punishment is a low fine. There is nothing more that can happen.
Whatever happens a lawyer will make it better once the "incident is over". Getting pulled over for just about any ticket (unless you were doing something REALLY stupid) is not a problem. Even getting caught/accused of doing something REALLY stupid is usually fixable via the legal system.
ttyl |
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Malsane
Toucan
Joined: Jun 30, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 262
Location: Iowa, USA
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject: Re: fear of authority? web of guilt. |
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| Programmer wrote: | | Onibunny wrote: | | everyone is always mad, aren't they? |
This is constantly said by Aspies. It is because Aspies always suppress slight aggression or anger. NTs either are not capable of it or don't. So when you see slight anger you empathize something major is wrong. If you showed slight anger something serious would be wrong. So it is effectively misplaced Empathy. |
Wow, that is something I never thought of, but now that you point it out, makes a lot of sense. Why don't NTs have better control of their emotions? |
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krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 44
Posts: 4973
Location: Village of the Damned
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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I figure my issues relate to always being in trouble as a kid and not understanding what I had done wrong because I wasn't trying to be "naughty" . I always feel like someone thinks I am lying even though I know I seldom lie and am very uncomfortable with it. Managers usually make me feel nausea's when I have to talk to them...like I am 6 again I try and keep my mouth shut around the "higher ups" but sometimes I feel compelled to speak up when something is going wrong and it's a no win situation.
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Malsane
Toucan
Joined: Jun 30, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 262
Location: Iowa, USA
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 7:56 pm Post subject: |
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| I don't really have problems with authority. Well, I don't have anxiety problems with authority figures anyway. When I was younger I did, but now I stand up for myself. I determine what is correct, (whether I'm right or the authority figure is right) and then I either maintain my point, or apologize and correct myself. |
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liloleme
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 09, 2008
Age: 41
Posts: 398
Location: California
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 10:08 pm Post subject: |
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| tomboy4good wrote: | Yes, as soon as someone starts treating me as though I have done something wrong, I mentally freeze up & start to shake. Sometimes I also hyperventilate. This is the case whether it's in person or over the phone, or anywhere at anytime. My parents also still have the ability to upset me.
It doesn't matter if someone has actual authority or if it's just my imagination. Then I am angry at my over reaction & I end up beating myself up. |
I react the exact same way. Also people who are very condescending do this to me and that really makes me angry with myself. |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 20625
Location: Central Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 10:18 pm Post subject: |
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It's one of the reasons I don't act like a hippie or hipster in public.
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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Silver_Meteor
Asperger Accountant
Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 1079
Location: North Kingstown, Rhode Island, USA
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 10:36 pm Post subject: |
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When the boss or an authority figure tries to ask questions to psychoanalyze you and he/she is not doing it to anybody else is more often than not a red flag that you are going to get the short end of the stick in some way. This is what I don't like about confrontations with authority figures. Because in some way, you are being set up.
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2187
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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I believe Aspies are often targeted by authority figures - easily suspected, not believed, blamed, scapegoated. Like any other minority in a given place and time.
Being different is more dangerous than being bad. I don't think it's all in our heads. I believe that we have good reason to keep as away from authority figures as possible.
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Onibunny
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 09, 2008
Posts: 70
Location: California
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| Posted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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Being different is more dangerous than being bad. I don't think it's all in our heads. I believe that we have good reason to keep as away from authority figures as possible.[/quote]
but how can i fix my problems if i don't talk to them>???? what do i do? |
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Tempy
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 24, 2007
Posts: 340
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| Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 12:10 am Post subject: |
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| tomboy4good wrote: | | Yes, as soon as someone starts treating me as though I have done something wrong, I mentally freeze up & start to shake. Sometimes I also hyperventilate. This is the case whether it's in person or over the phone, or anywhere at anytime. My parents also still have the ability to upset me. |
yep. I get the shakes "something terrible". |
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BokeKaeru
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 470
Location: Alternately Los Angeles, CA and Northampton, MA
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| Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 1:03 am Post subject: |
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| I'm nearly the exact opposite - authority other people will respect "just because" or out of social codes that say nothing about the actual issue at hand, I'll challenge if I think they're wrong. Thankfully I've had no reason to break any of the laws that would get me in serious trouble, but if I did, I'd certainly have a reason for it, and I'd fight it as far as I could to prove why exceptions should or must be made. Most of the rules I've run up against in the past seemed to have no function but to make everyone act the same and constrain me or others from doing what felt right, or even doing our best. I figure that someone's gotta fix what's not right, what's inconsistent and what makes no sense, so it might as well be me. |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2187
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 2:23 am Post subject: |
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Onibunny, yes, of course, if you need to talk to them you do.
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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