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mollyandbobsmom
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 19, 2007
Posts: 94
Location: upper midwest
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 Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:27 am Post subject: Is it the AS or just attitude? |
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| My 7 yo son with AS has been refusing to help do any of the family chores, even throwing fits when we ask him to do simple tasks he has done before. He will just read or play while everyone works. He even told me he knows the word lazy and thinks he sometimes is. FRUSTRATING!!! He also has been having a lot of meltdowns and I'm not sure if they are from his as or just from a temper tantrum. He wouldn't talk to me after he hit his sister at a playdate today and we had to leave because all he did was scream "I want to play" whenever I tried to get him to talk to me. Last night same thing, but about tooth brushing and stalling so he wouldnt' have to clean up the toys before bed. He took 15 minutes to brush his teeth then said he wasn't done when we said it was time to be done and clean. then he threw a 40 minute fit, just saying over and over "I want to brush my teeth!" AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!!! I don't want him to think he can get away with doing whatever he wants. He still has to follow the rules but he is so.....I can't even think of a proper word right now I am so irritated/mad/frustrated/perplexed. We still have to parent but how do we know it's not just lazy growing stuff or the as rearing it's head? HELP!! |
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Pobodys_Nerfect
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 350
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 1:46 am Post subject: |
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| Maybe he'll do his chores if he knows he'll get regular free time with his obsession. |
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annie2
Toucan
Joined: Sep 18, 2007
Posts: 285
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 3:58 am Post subject: |
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| Yes, I agree with the last post. My son is nuts on the computer. Two weeks ago I made "5 minute" and "10 minute" computer vouchers and printed them off the computer (similar look to paper money). I then made a chart of how he could earn vouchers, eg. 20 minutes for excellent day at school, 5 minutes for making bed, equivalent minutes for doing piano practice or homework, bonus minutes for doing "good" things. He is only allowed to go on the computer with vouchers. He loves it and is good at sticking to the times. When he is out of computer time and wants to go on it, I tell him to do a job or some piano practice. Maybe you could try some variation on this. |
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flowergal
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 13, 2008
Age: 37
Posts: 58
Location: Peaceful Countryside, USA
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 6:53 am Post subject: |
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I actually do what Annie2 does as well. It was hard at first, but I told my kids that the computer is a privilege that must be earned. It works well, my 7 year old son will test me too and do something sloppily (on purpose-he knows better), and he has learned he will not get computer time if he does that. It works well for our family. I would focus on whatever he is obsessed with and use that to redirect what is going on. If he likes to read you could tell him at night time, "If you can get ready for bed, brush your teeth, pick up your toys in the next 20 minutes, you can have ?? minutes of extra reading time at bedtime. I would set a timer too. My son loves the timer, it becomes a challenge to him.
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"When life brings you to your knees, you are in a good position to pray!" |
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ster
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 24, 2005
Posts: 2242
Location: new england
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 7:03 am Post subject: |
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with my sons, who are older, i tell them that they cannot go anywhere until their chores are done. usually, this means that they'll do their chores right away. occasionally, they decide to stall & not do their chores while others are working. frustrating to see them lag about, but i know they're not going anywher until the chores are done......
sounds like maybe your son is testing the limits. be consistent with your expectations and boundaries. as long as there is consistent rules & consequences, he'll come around. might take a while though.... |
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mollyandbobsmom
Blue Jay
Joined: Jun 19, 2007
Posts: 94
Location: upper midwest
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| Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 9:35 am Post subject: |
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| Thanks for the input, guys. I think I will try the coupon trick. we are not giving in when he has the fits (which is so hard sometimes) but my husband and I are both standing firm. the thing that is so frustrating is he is so structured already, we are loving, but firm and do let him have his trains and books to his hearts content. I hope he grows out of this soon! |
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