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Spokane_Girl
I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 2912
Location: Benny & Joon town (I wish)
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 Posted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 11:53 pm Post subject: Do or have people thought..... |
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you use your disability or health problem as an excuse? ed. anxiety, OCD, depression, Aspergers, autism, learning disability, diabetes, asthma, etc.
Only my two ex's have thought I used my anxiety as an excuse because they said "sometimes I think you use anxiety as an excuse."
My first boyfriend said that and then he told me he only thinks that sometimes, it doesn't mean it's true or he believes it, so I stopped being mad at him for thinking such a thing.
When my second boyfriend had the same thought except he told me he sometimes thinks I do it on purpose to get my way bla bla bla. I knew then it was only his feelings and thoughts, doesn't mean he believes them since he said sometimes he thinks 'this.'
I hate having anxiety, thats why I avoid it but when you're in relationships, it's hard to avoid especially when you are living with family.
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Aspergers, PDD-NOS, autistic, who cares what diagnoses I have, it's just a label. All on the spectrum. |
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asplanet
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 11, 2007
Posts: 1617
Location: Cyberspace, New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:04 am Post subject: |
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Its lack of understanding thats makes others tell you your making excuses. I have been told the same, but what is obvious to one is not to another, its easier to blame than understand...
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"Believe in your self, we are who we are - as it can feel like an endless task trying to be someone else!" Alyson Bradley ... Aspergers Parallel Planet web site - http://asplanet.info/index.php
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roygerdodger
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2006
Age: 17
Posts: 1103
Location: High Point, NC
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 413
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:07 am Post subject: |
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I have heard this a lot, and I think it happens whenever someone knows you have something like that. They always assume the worst, which is usually "your using it as an excuse". I think it is also how it gets presented, and how they think about it.
I don't tell people I have AS for that very reason. They will think I'm planning on using it as a crutch. If I told them when I was younger, other kids would think it was an excuse to get extra help or study time with classes. Now that I'm working, if I told my boss for instance, it would be seen as an excuse as to why I don't perform as well as them (even though I do, this is just an example of how people see things like this it seems). With the way they are thinking, its like "Well, he was doing fine before. He starts to struggle and comes up with some excuse like AS" or "Why did he just mention it now and not sooner?".
Personally, I don't see a good way around it. If they know you know you have it, any trouble you have that is an AS symptom gets lobbed into the "excuse" category. Its just an excuse for why he wants to be anti-social, an excuse for why he doesn't have a girlfriend, an excuse for why he stays by himself...on and on. |
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AGMorehouse
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 01, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 168
Location: La Habra, Caifornia
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:19 am Post subject: |
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I don't ever recall being in any situation where I was asked if I used my disability as an excuse.
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Stuck between a rock and a hard place...
The Rolling Stones |
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mikebw
kyubi no kitsune
Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 1084
Location: Florida
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:01 am Post subject: |
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People don't want to hear any reason or excuse, they want you to buck up and say, "I'll do it." And when you fail they want to hear, "I'll try harder."
I'm not one to care about what other people want though. If something makes you anxious and you don't really want to do whatever it is, don't. If it's your anxiousness holding you back, Try, try, try again. And again. Call your anxiety your bad brain and beat it to a pulp, lol.
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The world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide. This has been so since antiquity. |
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 413
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:37 am Post subject: |
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They don't know I have AS, but they do know that I strike them as a bit odd. I don't explain anything, I'm just like "Yeah, I know I'm a bit odd, that's ok though. Your not perfect either eh?" 
As long as they know your trying, that's usually all they look for or care about. |
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IdahoRose
Imaginary Friend
Joined: Feb 25, 2007
Age: 17
Posts: 4291
Location: Boise, ID
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 1:39 am Post subject: |
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| Nobody in my family thinks I do. Other people might, though. |
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Tim_Tex
Bender in Human Form
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 18700
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:13 am Post subject: |
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I've never done it.
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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