| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 659
Location: Palm Beach, FL
|
 Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:28 am Post subject: What are your opinions on adopting a child? |
 |
|
I am seriously considering adopting an older child. Has anyone here ever done that? I am looking at several that the state gives away free and pays all the legal expenses. The following comments seem to come up a lot:
"Prefers to play alone"
"Reacts badly to change"
"A sweet child but is prone to an occasional 'meltdown'"
"Has a 'type' of autism but gets good grades"
They didn't actually say, but I'm thinking a lot of these kids have AS. However, it seems to me that the person best qualified to raise an AS kid is an AS adult. Any comments about that?
Should I be locked up in a mental ward for even considering adopting an older child? |
|
| Back to top |
|
SquishypuffDave
Blue Jay
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 89
Location: Australia.
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:43 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I think adopting a child is a great idea and I agree that the best person to raise an aspie kid is aspie adult. There would be a much higher level of understanding. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Tortuga
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 12, 2007
Posts: 483
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 10:15 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Maybe, you can try foster parenting first. You can foster a child and then later try for adoption if you think it's right for you and the kid. |
|
| Back to top |
|
jat
Snowy Owl
Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 134
Location: Pennsylvania
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 10:50 am Post subject: |
|
|
Adopting or fostering an older child is a huge decision. It's really not as simple as whether an AS child would be best off with an AS adult. Most children who come into the system have many issues besides the AS with which they are dealing: something rather traumatic had to have occurred for the child to wind up in the system, and coming into the system is traumatic. You need to be prepared to deal with all of that, not only the AS.
When making the decision to foster or adopt, think carefully about the commitment. These kids get bounced from home to home way too much. Don't take a child with the thought that you can always give it back: it's not fair to the child.
Also, when reading about children who have social difficulties, like difficulty with attachment, don't assume that it's ASD. Many of these children have Reactive Attachment Disorder or PTSD due to early childhood trauma and/or neglect. It can look similar, behaviorally, but it is not neurologically based.
I fostered and subsequently adopted one of my children. I've also worked with lots of kids "in the system." |
|
| Back to top |
|
woodsman25
The Dude
Joined: May 19, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 2437
Location: NY
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:22 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Someday when I have a stable career and life, and good income, I want to adopt a child at a very young age and raise him, but I want years to think carefully about stuff, have a better house, have nicer things and be established far better then what I am now. I am 25 years old now and it may be another decade before I go thru with it.
I think its awsome, I want to be able to give a child a chance at a good life like I did. I want to be able to give them what I had for my entire life, I am a very lucky person, and one of my missions in life will be to turn around and give that luck to someone else who needed it far more then I ever did.
_________________
DX'ed with HFA as a child. However this was in 1987 and I am certain had I been DX'ed a few years later I would have been DX'ed with AS instead. |
|
| Back to top |
|
n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 659
Location: Palm Beach, FL
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 12:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Some of the kids appear too far gone. Some already have police records. I think there are a few that sound reasonable, but then again, I don't know what's been left out of their profile.
But more importantly, I have issues like, how will I raise them and have a job as a single parent. I'm looking at 12 hour shifts at night. Who will watch them then? |
|
| Back to top |
|
PunkyKat
Phoenix
Joined: May 15, 2008
Posts: 563
Location: Twlight Zone
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 3:04 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| I was adopted as a child. I was a baby when it happened and have no memory what-so-ever of my biological parents. I've heard that my biological mother was severly autistic and had no clue what so ever how to raise a child. My biological father was a drunkard who liked to cheat on his wife and take advantage of mentaly chalanded women. I've also been told that the adoption process took a total of four years so they could make sure my biological mother was really and truely incaplable of rasing me. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 20401
Location: Central Texas
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:35 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I would rather be a biological father.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
|
| Back to top |
|
Gosmokesome
Snowy Owl
Joined: Oct 04, 2007
Posts: 141
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:54 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Sounds cool
_________________
Google Ron Paul |
|
| Back to top |
|
catlover02
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 13, 2007
Age: 25
Posts: 144
Location: Michigan
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 12:21 am Post subject: |
|
|
| I was 14 when I was adopted and I have Asperger's Syndrome. It was really hard for me to be adopted as an older child. Dawn |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
