| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
NeantHumain
Phoenix
![]()
Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3601
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
|
 Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:49 pm Post subject: How to Attract Women as a Nice Guy |
 |
|
You need not be a rude, aggressive jerk to attract women; there are alternatives. If your natural style is to be a nice guy, that can work well for you. After all, do you prefer the company of pleasant people or of unpleasant people?
1. Make your generosity a virtue. It's not supplication or appeasement; you do it because it is a good thing to do and you enjoy it.
2. Don't get sucked into the emotional drains some people like to create. (For example, avoid those who would make you pity them to abuse your generosity.)
3. Stand by your convictions and don't let yourself be swayed by popular opinion or peer pressure.
4. Stay open and honest with others.
It works. |
|
| Back to top |
|
krex
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 21, 2006
Age: 44
Posts: 4973
Location: Village of the Damned
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 3:02 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Agreed. I would also add that being nice is not enough. You also need to have something interesting going on in your life. An engaged person is always more interesting then someone who is "bored" with life.
_________________
Just because one plane is flying out of formation, doesnt mean the formation is on course....R.D.Lang
Visit my crafts store
http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=5412685 |
|
| Back to top |
|
LePetitPrince
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3124
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 3:10 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| NeantHumain, do you have a girlfriend now? |
|
| Back to top |
|
malithion2
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 16, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 207
Location: Albuquerque, NM
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 3:38 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Don't forget to be yourself!
_________________
The breaking of a wave cannot explain the whole sea. |
|
| Back to top |
|
NeantHumain
Phoenix
![]()
Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3601
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 3:46 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| LePetitPrince wrote: | | NeantHumain, do you have a girlfriend now? |
No, I'm just making up some advice because I'm sick of these people writing that being an ass is the way to go. |
|
| Back to top |
|
DWill
Raven
Joined: Dec 20, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 117
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 4:03 pm Post subject: Re: How to Attract Women as a Nice Guy |
|
|
| NeantHumain wrote: | You need not be a rude, aggressive jerk to attract women; there are alternatives. If your natural style is to be a nice guy, that can work well for you. After all, do you prefer the company of pleasant people or of unpleasant people?
1. Make your generosity a virtue. It's not supplication or appeasement; you do it because it is a good thing to do and you enjoy it.
2. Don't get sucked into the emotional drains some people like to create. (For example, avoid those who would make you pity them to abuse your generosity.)
3. Stand by your convictions and don't let yourself be swayed by popular opinion or peer pressure.
4. Stay open and honest with others.
It works. |
Agreed. Also be assertive and confident. |
|
| Back to top |
|
MissConstrue
Aquarius
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 11459
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 5:57 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I likes.
I think respect is a huge one and goes a long ways as well when dealing with any relationship.
_________________
Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here.
__Cheshire the Cat
6thSin:Envy |
|
| Back to top |
|
schleppenheimer
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 01, 2006
Posts: 953
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 6:45 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I married a "nice" guy, and I've taught my daughter to only be interested in "nice" guys as well. There really are women out there who wouldn't even look twice at an overly confident guy -- we are actually repulsed by them!
Kris |
|
| Back to top |
|
Cyberman
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 888
Location: Telos
|
| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:30 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| schleppenheimer wrote: | | I married a "nice" guy, and I've taught my daughter to only be interested in "nice" guys as well. There really are women out there who wouldn't even look twice at an overly confident guy -- we are actually repulsed by them! |
In what way was he "nice"? Would you care to elaborate a little on how the two of you first got together, if you don't mind my asking? |
|
| Back to top |
|
DWill
Raven
Joined: Dec 20, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 117
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 12:20 am Post subject: |
|
|
| schleppenheimer wrote: | I married a "nice" guy, and I've taught my daughter to only be interested in "nice" guys as well. There really are women out there who wouldn't even look twice at an overly confident guy -- we are actually repulsed by them!
Kris |
To me being nice has nothing to do with a lack of confidence. Sometimes nice guys are not very confident but I don't think nice guys be definition need to be unconfident. I for one consider myself a very nice guy, but at the same time I'm also very confident in myself. Best of both worlds maybe? |
|
| Back to top |
|
LePetitPrince
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3124
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 9:18 am Post subject: |
|
|
| NeantHumain wrote: | | LePetitPrince wrote: | | NeantHumain, do you have a girlfriend now? |
No, I'm just making up some advice because I'm sick of these people writing that being an ass is the way to go. |
Being an ass is absolutely not the way to go, being MASCULINE is the way to go. Of course, some men are naturally born more masculine than other but knowing this might help to know where to start.
It just happens that many bad guys are very masculine and that's why they get girls (probably because level of testosterone is positively correlated with aggressiveness), it's because of their masculinity and not of their badness. |
|
| Back to top |
|
LePetitPrince
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3124
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 9:20 am Post subject: |
|
|
| schleppenheimer wrote: | I married a "nice" guy, and I've taught my daughter to only be interested in "nice" guys as well. There really are women out there who wouldn't even look twice at an overly confident guy -- we are actually repulsed by them!
Kris |
Can I ask also why the word nice in your sentence is between " " ? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Social_Fantom
Unmasked
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 11429
Location: In the shadows, waiting for my chance to strike
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 3:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
It's just my nature to respect others. I was always this way in school and I did have a few female acquaintances. At the time, I was pretty bad at catching on to things but now looking back, almost all of them were flirting with me.
Despite my inability to recognize their advances, this is proof of concept. 
_________________
Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
5th Sin: Wrath |
|
| Back to top |
|
Dracula
Velociraptor
Joined: Nov 23, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 412
|
| Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 5:02 pm Post subject: Re: How to Attract Women as a Nice Guy |
|
|
| NeantHumain wrote: | | It works. |
Only if you want to create affection.
Attraction is much more powerful. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Veresae
Putrescent And Flummoxed
Joined: Feb 25, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 3181
Location: California
|
| Posted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 3:54 am Post subject: |
|
|
| schleppenheimer wrote: | I married a "nice" guy, and I've taught my daughter to only be interested in "nice" guys as well. There really are women out there who wouldn't even look twice at an overly confident guy -- we are actually repulsed by them!
Kris |
Thank you so much. This gives me hope!
| DWill wrote: | | To me being nice has nothing to do with a lack of confidence. Sometimes nice guys are not very confident but I don't think nice guys be definition need to be unconfident. I for one consider myself a very nice guy, but at the same time I'm also very confident in myself. Best of both worlds maybe? |
While confidence and kindness can indeed go together, the fact is by approaching someone and making the first move you're assuming that they'll like you, they'll find you attractive, and that they won't be creeped out by you. Many women will smile and pretend to like you even if they don't, because it's the nice thing to do, they don't want to be a bitch and tell you to leave. Thing is, aspies aren't too good at picking up the little hints they give that should indicate they don't want you talking to them. This means that, if you end up talking to them and they don't like you but only express this dislike in hints an NT would get but an Aspie wouldn't, while keeping up with that fake smiling because it's "nicer" to do that--then you're not being a very nice guy, even if you have the best of intentions. Plus, oftentimes there's no way to approach a woman without doing it rudely, because they're always busy doing something or talking to someone already. So while you can be both nice and confident, usually one must take precedence over the other. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
