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y1999Jonathan
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject: Ok heres my problem |
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I'm new here,my name is Jonathan and am almost at the eleventh hour which is why I've finally taken my shrik's advice to come here and ask other people what to do so here it is:
I am 17 and at college of which i decided to go to because I really couldn't see myself getting a job as during the last year of school I eventually couldn't take it any more and was finally diagnosed with aspergers very late at 16 howether despite this I did ok results wise and went to college but and this is a big but I have not been out by myself for nearly 5 years and haven't been able to do normal things that people of my age should do such as getting the bus of which i am terrified and petrified of the idea of doing so and have only been able to get to college due to their help in providing a taxi which is very embaressing but now I face my final year of college and still nothing has changed and my parents are getting impatient and are starting to force me into action. My question is am I alone in these circumstances? I feel like a loser for having to ask my sisters to go next door(literally) for me just to get me something just because I am terrified of other people. |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 20622
Location: Central Texas
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:18 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to WP!
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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velodog
Gold Supporter
Joined: Mar 16, 2008
Posts: 1251
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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| I hope you can find some effective therapy for your problem so it doesn't plague you for life. Welcome to WP! |
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jayssite
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 01, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 81
Location: Near Poughkeepsie, NY
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:22 pm Post subject: |
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Why are you terrified of other people?
I don't like other people much, but anonymous people who I'll never have to see again don't bother me. Who cares what they think? You have Asperger's Syndrome, so neurotypical people aren't really able to understand you that well anyway, so I'd just accept their judgment as an inevitability that won't affect you in any negative way.
edit: It sounds like you have Social Anxiety Disorder. |
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y1999Jonathan
Butterfly
Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:27 pm Post subject: |
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Why are you terrified of other people?
I don't like other people much, but anonymous people who I'll never have to see again don't bother me. Who cares what they think? You have Asperger's Syndrome, so neurotypical people aren't really able to understand you that well anyway, so I'd just accept their judgment as an inevitability that won't affect you in any negative way.
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I dont know they just do.I cant look at people without feeling like they are judging me or that they mean harm. |
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WC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 74
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome.
First don't compound your issues by feeling bad that you need help right now.
Second, try at least once in awhile to do something that you are scared to do. Even if it is as seemingly simple as walking to the corner store to get a soda by yourself.
When you do it you will feel soooo much better about yourself! Then hopefully you will be able to do it more often.
Baby steps my friend.
Just think, you are going to college, that is great! That is in itself a huge feat! |
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The_Cucumber
Velociraptor
Joined: May 05, 2007
Posts: 446
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:33 pm Post subject: |
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Well I beat most of my fears by acknowledging they are irrational then running headlong into them. It's probably not the most effective method and I'd be lying to you if I said that it works %100 of the time. But the hardest part is always taking that first step. Don't overexert yourself, I'd say the best thing to do is just start taking the bus to school. Once your comfortable doing that find something else to do, maybe start applying for part-time work (don't get discouraged from repeated failure to get an interview here, job market is currently atrocious). Once that's taken care of you can go onto the next thing.
Always remember, their is nothing AS outright prevents you from doing, some things are just more difficult and are learned differently.
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The improbable goal: Fear nothing, hate nothing, and let nothing anger you. |
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malithion2
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 16, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 207
Location: Albuquerque, NM
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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You're not the only one, my family calls me a hermit because I hardly go or do anything.
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The breaking of a wave cannot explain the whole sea. |
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just-me
Velociraptor
Joined: Mar 07, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 455
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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I used to be petrified of riding the city bus.
When my boyfriend came over to viset me from england he helped me overcome this fear.
You just need somone to help you ease into it slowly, and prove to yourself that nothing bad will happen.
This technique is called desensitizing.
Don't push yourself though, or it will cause you stress and you wont want to do it again. Start slowly and have someone you trust help you.
You'll get there just remind your parents your trying and hopefully they will understand.
Oh and WELCOME TO WP !!!!! 
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Just-you is my boyfriend.
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JerryHatake
Kumdo Practitioner
Joined: Jul 02, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 8961
Location: Woodbridge, VA
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:38 pm Post subject: |
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Nice to meet you, Jonathan.  
Some of things that you mention I had problems myself with but I eventually overcame in the end through self-determination and maturing to do so in the process.
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Each person gets his or her own freedom and passion one by one
For us who were born in order to shine, our journey will continue
The trump card that supports the uncertain days is your Soul
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Necromonger
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 27, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 4
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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| As others have suggested, take small steps, and do things you are afraid of. If there is something you are especially scared of, it might be a good idea to bring one of your sisters along if that makes you more comfortable. When you get more comfortable you can start going alone. If you already feel comfortable if you are going with someone you know it might be time to start testing going alone . Do the thing you are the least scared of first, to work up your confidence, and then move on from there. |
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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 50
Posts: 2743
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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Gad, I didn't even start college until I was 18... College is an investment, and it pays off better than high school... |
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jayssite
Blue Jay
Joined: Feb 01, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 81
Location: Near Poughkeepsie, NY
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LostInSpace
Queen of the Gargoyles
Joined: Apr 17, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 1942
Location: New York
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| pakled wrote: | | Gad, I didn't even start college until I was 18... College is an investment, and it pays off better than high school... |
I think the OP is from outside the US, and is talking about the US equivalent of "high school." "College" can refer to secondary school in some countries, and is one of several possible tracks students can select during adolescence (trade school is another). |
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