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Stupidcat
Raven
Joined: Mar 06, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 106
Location: Texas
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 Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:37 pm Post subject: How To Tell My Mom |
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I was diagnosed with Asperger's this past March after waiting a year to be seen at my university. I never told my family about my plans and I haven't told them since I got the diagnosis. I never gave telling my family much thought until I came home for the summer. As I learn more about myself and how Asperger's has effected it, the more I've begun to feel isolated.
I'm really close with my mom and lately I've been thinking about telling her. I don't like feeling like I have this huge secret I'm hiding. I'm not ashamed of who I am but every time I think about telling her I get really sick to my stomach. I just don't know how to deal with her reaction.
She knows I have problems with anxiety and that I take medication for it. Whenever I mention it though she always tells me that I should just go out and exercise more so I work off all my anxious feelings. I don't think she understands how involuntary the anxiety reaction is.
I want to tell her but I'm not sure how I'd approach it. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. |
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WC
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 04, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 74
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 7:52 pm Post subject: |
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Don't beat yourself up wondering what her reaction may be. You said you are close. Give her the benefit of the doubt.
Good luck! |
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SapphoWoman
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Posts: 443
Location: South Florida
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 8:48 pm Post subject: |
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| I think it helps to print some stuff out--just the stuff that applies to you. This will make it seem more "legitimate". Because it IS legitimate! |
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n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 567
Location: Palm Beach, FL
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:07 pm Post subject: |
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| When I did, my parents did not react. I don't think they knew what aspergers was. |
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Necromonger
Emu Egg
Joined: Jun 27, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 4
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:35 pm Post subject: |
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Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. Like exercising and trying harder will fix everything. I told my mom when I found out I have AS. She was a bit skeptical, but I had read a lot about it and mentioned similarities with my way behavior and AS traits, so she accepted it. I still think she has a bit of that "suck it up and try harder"-mentality, but at least she knows why I am struggling. Family are useally more accepting than friends, so I think you should tell her. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and there is really no point in hiding it, and you don't have to worry about it slipping out unintentionally in a conversation  . |
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Stupidcat
Raven
Joined: Mar 06, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 106
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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| Necromonger wrote: | | Your mom sounds a lot like my mom. Like exercising and trying harder will fix everything. I told my mom when I found out I have AS. She was a bit skeptical, but I had read a lot about it and mentioned similarities with my way behavior and AS traits, so she accepted it. I still think she has a bit of that "suck it up and try harder"-mentality, but at least she knows why I am struggling. Family are useally more accepting than friends, so I think you should tell her. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and there is really no point in hiding it, and you don't have to worry about it slipping out unintentionally in a conversation . |
Wow. That made me feel a lot better. I'm glad you understand the "suck it up and try harder" mentality. I think that's what I'm afraid will get in the way when I tell her. Maybe I should make a list to help me keep my thoughts organized when I talk to her.
Last edited by Stupidcat on Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:03 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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SapphoWoman
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Posts: 443
Location: South Florida
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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| Stupidcat wrote: | | Maybe I should make a list to help me keep my thoughts organized when I talk to her. |
Good idea. I made a list when I "came out" as having AS to my friends and family. |
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sgrannel
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 439
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 11:37 pm Post subject: |
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I exercise a lot, and I am convinced that even though it makes me feel better, it probably doesn't cure AS. I am not sure how to tell people, or even if I will tell anyone in my family. My situation is that a group of professionals think I have AS, and I score between 130 and 150 on the aspie quiz (depends on how I'm feeling) but I don't have the certainty of a formal diagnosis, and that makes things a little trickier.
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You should get to know me better. No one's ever what they seem.-- Shirley Manson |
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lastcrazyhorn
Bat-Chick
Joined: Oct 11, 2007
Posts: 1219
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 7:19 pm Post subject: |
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I just sucked it up and did it. But I did it with the help of a few checklists that I was able to go through with her and show her how much the dx fit me. Like here: http://www.support4hope.com/autism/aspergers_characteristics.htm
_________________
"I am to misbehave" - Mal
BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.
http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie" |
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quirky
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 19
Posts: 336
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| Posted: Sat Jul 05, 2008 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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| My mom believes me that I have strong autistic tendencies and is very well educated about my condition. Yet for some reason, it just makes her go harder on me. She'll say "You're fixating - you need to cut it out and get over it!" Yet when my siblings behave 'normally' and get bothered by something, she feeds into it. I don't understand why she goes harder on me if she believes I have something wrong with me - she thinks the only way to help me is to make me get over it. It drives me crazy. |
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