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cello928
Emu Egg
Joined: Jul 08, 2008
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:08 pm Post subject: Boyfriend with AS struggling in college... |
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Hi
So glad to see that there is a support group out there.
My boyfriend has undiagnosed Aspergers and he struggles so much with school. He is very bright in math and science, but English is his weakness. He has been trying to pass the same freshman english class for well over 4 years now, and just can't get through it. He just has a hard time thinking abstractly and literally freaks out when it comes to writing papers.
I love him so much. He is very articulate and when it actually comes down to writing a paper, it can turn out quite well. He just doesn't understand that you have to start researching and working on the paper much earlier than the night before. He will literally start the research about 8:00 or so the night before. He spends hours upon hours going through every article until he finds one that is perfect - this can take all night. He then only has an hour or two to actually write the paper, which is impossible, especially when it's a ten-pager.
Is there anything I can do to help him? I try helping him research and I type for him sometimes because I can type a lot faster, but he struggles so much with this. He gets very discouraged and basically just gives up.
He REALLY needs this english class so that he can graduate next year. Does anyone have any advice on this matter?
A lot of people just blow him off as being lazy - but I know he is a very hard worker, just easily discouraged when he doesn't understand something. His teacher is not being very sympathetic in this matter. Would being formally diagnosed help at all?
I appreciate whatever insight you might be able to give. |
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t0
Deinonychus
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 356
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:15 pm Post subject: Re: Boyfriend with AS struggling in college... |
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I think he would do better if the task was broken down and separate deadlines were established for each part of the assignment.
When I was in high school, they put us through a multi-week lesson on how to write a paper. It basically started with reading articles and putting "facts" on note cards. 1 fact per card. We had a deadline to gather N facts (I don't remember what N was) and had to turn those in for review. Then I think we organized the facts into related groups and finally wrote the paper using the organized facts. |
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Tim_Tex
At one with the world
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 20357
Location: Wherever I want to be
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 6:10 pm Post subject: Re: Boyfriend with AS struggling in college... |
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| cello928 wrote: | Hi
So glad to see that there is a support group out there.
My boyfriend has undiagnosed Aspergers and he struggles so much with school. He is very bright in math and science, but English is his weakness. He has been trying to pass the same freshman english class for well over 4 years now, and just can't get through it. He just has a hard time thinking abstractly and literally freaks out when it comes to writing papers.
I love him so much. He is very articulate and when it actually comes down to writing a paper, it can turn out quite well. He just doesn't understand that you have to start researching and working on the paper much earlier than the night before. He will literally start the research about 8:00 or so the night before. He spends hours upon hours going through every article until he finds one that is perfect - this can take all night. He then only has an hour or two to actually write the paper, which is impossible, especially when it's a ten-pager.
Is there anything I can do to help him? I try helping him research and I type for him sometimes because I can type a lot faster, but he struggles so much with this. He gets very discouraged and basically just gives up.
He REALLY needs this english class so that he can graduate next year. Does anyone have any advice on this matter?
A lot of people just blow him off as being lazy - but I know he is a very hard worker, just easily discouraged when he doesn't understand something. His teacher is not being very sympathetic in this matter. Would being formally diagnosed help at all?
I appreciate whatever insight you might be able to give. |
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Tracker
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 17, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 170
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 8:45 pm Post subject: |
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This may sound weird, but make it a topic of coversation.
Ask him what papers he has due in 2 weeks, and ask him about it. Ask him what he plans to write about, what he knows about it, etc. I dont mean that you should scold him if isnt working on his paper, but encourage him to get started earlier then the night before. |
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PianoMan
Emu Egg
Joined: Jul 21, 2008
Posts: 3
Location: United States
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| Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 5:05 pm Post subject: |
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| I think that being diagnosed would help. With a diagnosis he could get accomodations from his college's disability office. Disability services might be able to refer him to someone who could diagnose him. |
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firelily
Hummingbird
Joined: May 09, 2008
Age: 32
Posts: 20
Location: Asia
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| Posted: Sat Jul 26, 2008 12:09 pm Post subject: |
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| sounds like this is a frustrating, ongoing one for him.... so, if it's an irrelevant assignment that he just needs to complete and is not directly related to his future field.... I think if I were you I would just write it myself or pay for someone to write it.... |
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kclark
Velociraptor
Joined: May 11, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 460
Location: NE Illinois
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| Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2008 12:40 pm Post subject: |
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Sounds like the difficulties I have writing papers.
Break it into separate steps.
Assign the research step to be due earlier like the week before.
Then have him group the points of the paper. The card idea posted above is a good one.
Then the rest just happens in my head and I type what ever comes out. I have real trouble breaking the rest down into step and this does make it real hard on me.
I got a 8 page final report due this friday. I am at the topic stage with rough ideas on the research. Just need to pull actual quotes and facts. |
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CRACK
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 03, 2005
Age: 21
Posts: 765
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| Posted: Thu Jul 31, 2008 6:17 pm Post subject: |
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I agree with the breaking down into smaller steps.
I easily get discouraged by an elaborate assignment that I don't fully understand and tend to enter shutdown mode. How good are you at doing what he is struggling with? Can you help him with individual assignments?
I didn't mean help in the sense of do it for him, but you know. |
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