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infinite9
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 08, 2008
Posts: 30
Location: Chicagoland
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 Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:33 pm Post subject: introduction |
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Hi. I'm new to this forum. I've been reading up a lot on asperger's and autism in general lately. I've sort of finally come to the realization that I have asperger's and I'm starting to understand just how screwed up i really am. In spite of all of that, i'm amazed that I've managed to do as well as I have. I have a fairly successful career. I also managed to get married at a young age and I'm still married to the same person 15 years later.
Most of the life success has been because of my wife and one close friend who have been sort of reprogramming me for years. Finally (I'm almost 40), I'm feeling like I've almost conquered this thing. It still haunts me daily though. And the aspie monster comes out all too frequently when I get tired or stressed out. And I still feel like I'm hauling around a heavy backpack containing all of the social failures dating back as long as I can remember. And even to this day, I still lose jobs (or more frequently now, choose to leave) because of problematic social situations, or personality types that I'm completely powerless to understand and deal with effectively.
I started looking into ASDs because we adopted a child from russia who has what the psychologists are calling "Instutional Autism". For him, it comes and goes. Some of my symptoms overlap with his, but others are very different. But that research has made me also consider my own situation now.
So I guess I'd like to offer my experiences about how I managed to create a great social persona that I can switch on when necessary. In exchange, I'd like to try to figure out why I can feel full-blast anger at a moment's notice, but not much of anything else. My wife has described how normal people experience emotions, and I can assure you, it sounds nothing like what I feel.
Anyway, thanks for reading my rambling post.
brian |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 20905
Location: Central Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:34 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to WP!
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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MissConstrue
Aquarius
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 11477
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:27 pm Post subject: |
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Hi infinite9 and greetings to the Wrong Planet!!
Great to have you. 
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Oh you can't help that. We're all mad here.
__Cheshire the Cat
6thSin:Envy |
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pluto
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 27, 2006
Age: 48
Posts: 1054
Location: Paisley,Scotland UK
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to WP,Brian
I know what you mean about creating a 'persona',I think it's something a lot of people do.
I only discovered Asperger's at the age of 46,before that I just thought I was unusually
introverted and still coming to terms with some underlying issues following traumatic bullying
experiences from high school days.
I've certainly learned a lot in the past year and WP has helped.My own journey through stress and anger has been made more comfortable by the development of a philosophical 'detached' approach that has acted like suspension to dampen the effects of all the bumps along the way.
At the same time,while becoming more detached from stress I've discovered I shouldn't
detach myself from feelings altogether,especially from people and interests I care about.
It's finding a balance that's the tricky part !
Ian / Pluto
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I have lost the will to be apathetic |
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richie
Ye Olde Bookwyrme
Joined: Jan 10, 2007
Age: 49
Posts: 11261
Location: Lake Whoop-Dee-Doo, Pennsylvania
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infinite9
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 08, 2008
Posts: 30
Location: Chicagoland
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:09 pm Post subject: |
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| pluto wrote: | Welcome to WP,Brian
I know what you mean about creating a 'persona',I think it's something a lot of people do.
I only discovered Asperger's at the age of 46,before that I just thought I was unusually
introverted and still coming to terms with some underlying issues following traumatic bullying
experiences from high school days.
I've certainly learned a lot in the past year and WP has helped.My own journey through stress and anger has been made more comfortable by the development of a philosophical 'detached' approach that has acted like suspension to dampen the effects of all the bumps along the way.
At the same time,while becoming more detached from stress I've discovered I shouldn't
detach myself from feelings altogether,especially from people and interests I care about.
It's finding a balance that's the tricky part !
Ian / Pluto |
I have a lot of baggage from bullying in middle school as well. I think it's a source of a lot of anger for me. I have this weird ability to sort of switch off my emotions. I had been using it as an anger management tool, but lately I've discovered that it only turned into passive aggression that later accumulated into something worse that came out later. I've started to sort of do what it sounds like you're describing. I try to step outside of myself for a minute and decide whether the amount of anger I'm feeling is appropriate for the thing that i'm mad about.
Just today it happened, and I decided that I was way overreacting. I focussed on the circumstances of what had happened and considered that there might be other scenarios that could explain the email I received. That allowed me to calm down within about 10 minutes or so. Later I decided that scenario that I originally assumed was happening, the one that made me so angry, was the least likely scenario. I used the aspie cold logic to analyze the situation and feed the results back into the emotions.
I think this is the right approach. So now i'm on a mission to address all of my anger problems this way. Hopefully, I and the people around me will end up a lot happier as a result.
brian |
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ironangel
Toucan
Joined: Jul 06, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 289
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:44 am Post subject: |
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welcome brian 
that's nice to know that
you're interested in angermanagement
i'm also prone to anger outburst (as people perceived it)
but for me its just my personality type (sometimes)
im reading about metaemotion now |
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AnonymousAnonymous
More Riddler than Joker
Joined: Nov 24, 2006
Age: 18
Posts: 6478
Location: Portland, Oregon
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:23 pm Post subject: |
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Welcome to Wrong Planet!
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It's time to introduce a little anarchy. |
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Social_Fantom
Unmasked
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 11447
Location: In the shadows, waiting for my chance to strike
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| Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:41 am Post subject: |
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Welcome to the forums, hope you enjoy posting!!
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
5th Sin: Wrath |
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deathchibi
anime freak of nature!!!!
Joined: Oct 17, 2007
Age: 117
Posts: 6891
Location: earth
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| Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 4:41 am Post subject: |
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| richie wrote: | 
To WrongPlanet!!! |
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I shall rule the world with an iron spork!!!!
me fail english! thats unpossible!
4th sin: sloth. |
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JerryHatake
Kumdo Practitioner
Joined: Jul 02, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 9013
Location: Woodbridge, VA
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| Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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Nice to meet you, Brian. 
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Each person gets his or her own freedom and passion one by one
For us who were born in order to shine, our journey will continue
The trump card that supports the uncertain days is your Soul
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