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Space
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1627
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 Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:25 pm Post subject: How long until you ask a girl out? |
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| I have only known this girl for <7 days, and we have only talked twice, but the response has been positive (the eye contact, tone of voice, reciprocation etc. all there). We have class together for 5 1/2 more weeks. I can play it casual and infiltrate over time, getting her to study with me, etc. and near the end of class ask her out (assuming we keep building something together). Or, I could ask her out for coffee this week, and get her to accompany me to a dinner party I am going to on the weekend (this might be a bad move, considering we barely know each other and she would only know me there). On the other hand, I know this will be a big party and I will get to know her pretty quick in the 1 night.... Anyways, part of my problem with relationships is I jump the gun sometimes and then it ends prematurely because my head is farther along than hers is... I am scared that if I ask her out too soon then it will fizzle. I am beginning to think I should get to know her better and build up more, because I will have a better chance of success (or less chance of rejection). I get split advice on things like this... either it's be aggressive, and if it doesn't work out, move on, but at the same time people tell me you can't move too fast or nothing will happen. I hate the mixed messages people give about relationships... so frustrating. Thoughts? |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 20883
Location: Central Texas
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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There is no "generally accepted" time to ask someone out. You should do it whenever you feel comfortable doing it.
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When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 1876
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:30 pm Post subject: |
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| Meh! Just ask her out on a date or something, just don't come on to strong during the date if she wants to go out with you. |
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Onibunny
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Apr 09, 2008
Posts: 72
Location: California
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:38 pm Post subject: ask her to do something |
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small, soon. ease into hanging out. go to a museum or something like that. When you go to a movie or just to eat it's difficult to get to know someone. a first date should be something where you can both talk (and maybe do something where she can tell you more about something she likes , like a hobby or something where she can show off a little bit!)
good luck! |
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Social_Fantom
Unmasked
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 11433
Location: In the shadows, waiting for my chance to strike
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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Whenever you feel the time is right, it is up to you to know when that is.
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius
5th Sin: Wrath |
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Space
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1627
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| Posted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:41 pm Post subject: |
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| I'll probably just ask her out for coffee tomorrow or the next day. If she says yes, and we get along, I will ask her to do something this weekend. Sound good? |
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CaptainMac
Snowy Owl
Joined: Mar 10, 2008
Posts: 166
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 2:38 am Post subject: |
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Is there any way to make an infinity sign on here?
I only say this because I've never asked a girl out. |
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jkrane
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 11, 2007
Posts: 508
Location: 39uqlksdj3ujadlskd
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:03 am Post subject: |
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| do it now |
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Blasty
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 22, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 309
Location: Oregon
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:11 am Post subject: |
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I'd say go for it. Asking her to go do something simple, more "hanging out" like, seems like a good idea. The worst thing that could happen is that she doesn't want to, and then you're no further back then you were when you started.
CaptainMac, Alt + 236 on the numpad gets you ∞. I'm 22 and would have had to use it up until fairly recently. I wasn't successful, but I was able to ask her out. 
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Well. That was a hastily unloaded pile of incoherence. |
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crackedpleasures
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 14, 2007
Posts: 1689
Location: travelling (currently Berlin, longing for the Middle East)
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:26 am Post subject: |
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Space, go for it.
If it feels the right moment to you, then follow your intuition. There are no clear rules in this, but let me tell you I have wanted to ask girls out plenty of times but never dared to. Result: coming second choice and regretting not having asked her before. There are no clear rules in this or no perfect moment, so if your intuition says it is the right thing to do, then go for it. If you ask her for just a drink and a chat it is rather innocent anyway so you cannot go wrong with that, but if that first coffee and soda tastes good and you get along well, then there will be a second time and you can take things further from there.
Just ask her. You got nothing to lose. If you don't ask her, you will regret it. Go for it, and best of luck!! 
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Keep it flaming your desire, always rising high, aim for stars and hit the sky!
(Echo & The Bunnymen = gods amongst men) |
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Hector
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 724
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:26 am Post subject: |
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| Space wrote: | | I'll probably just ask her out for coffee tomorrow or the next day. If she says yes, and we get along, I will ask her to do something this weekend. Sound good? |
That seems perfectly sensible, and I suppose the right course of action to take. |
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Space
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1627
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm definitely going to do something, when I talk to her now it's like she's just waiting for something to happen... so she obviously likes the attention I'm giving her, I just need to direct the next action. Now I'm really confused though because I have another hot girl on the go... I've known her for a few weeks and last night we were flirting pretty hard on chat and then on the phone... she tells me how hot she thinks I am, that she's a sex addict, and has problems saying no to guys (I'm not making any of this up). We're supposed to do something today and on friday, but at the same time I like this other girl too and she is probably a higher caliber of person based on what I know. I guess I will just have to do both. It is weird because I usually have one prospect or none at all, and now I have 2 girls pursuing me in addition to the the original one from school in my 1st post (yes there's a third girl I met on plentyoffish, she keeps messaging me and telling me to call her but I dunno if I want to be involved with her). |
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makuranososhi
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Joined: May 13, 2008
Posts: 1991
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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Just date, and avoid the relationship for the time being, if it is something you're comfortable with. At least, that is the behavior I observe in others... I am king of the Insta-Relationship (tm).
M.
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He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand my intentions...?
Why choose a lesser evil? Vote Cthulhu 2008! |
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beef_bourito
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 13, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 1291
Location: Ottawa, On, Canada
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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| i say go with your coffee plan. if the coffee goes badly, then just keep it casual as if nothing happened, if it goes well then go further. |
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crackedpleasures
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 14, 2007
Posts: 1689
Location: travelling (currently Berlin, longing for the Middle East)
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| Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 1:08 am Post subject: |
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Space, if I were you I would stick to your original plan. The other girl makes some sexual approaches but probably is not really interested in anything long-term. If you get along well with the other girl who seems way more sincere, I would not let that chance go. The other one comes across as a bit cheap, the way you describe it. I would stick to the original plan and ask the girl you first wanted to ask.
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Keep it flaming your desire, always rising high, aim for stars and hit the sky!
(Echo & The Bunnymen = gods amongst men) |
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