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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3613
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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 Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 11:52 pm Post subject: Free Time Not Rejuvenating Enough? |
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Since I have no friends, I am by and large relegated to being at home or doing things by myself in my free time, which is fine to an extent, but it's not very fulfilling and not especially fun or enjoyable. When I come back to work after my boring weekends (where I end up doing the same thing just about every time: go to the park, go to the bookstore, go out to eat at some quick-service restaurant where I can go by myself), they haven't provided me enough of a break or change of pace from the drudgery of being stuck in an office for eight hours of my day (plus another hour for lunch). The trouble is I am bored and restless at work and thus less interested in doing my work (although so far I've still gotten it done, albeit sometimes a bit sloppily). I am also sick of the sterile environment, and this makes everything about the place increasingly irritating (even the sounds of people's voices or accents). I begin to find being stuck there an unwanted burden and grow to dislike the people around me (really not for anything against them but more or less because I've become sick of the place, I guess).
Unfortunately, I know in situations like this, my self-control can weaken considerably, which is why I prefer to take preventative measures. (Yes, my job doesn't interest me much, but changing it is another story.)
Does anyone else find that having too much dullness during one's free time makes dealing with the more unpleasant/less enjoyable times harder? |
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windscar15
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 431
Location: San Jose, California
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| Posted: Sun Jul 20, 2008 11:53 pm Post subject: |
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just try making friends.
Would it kill you? |
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Aurore
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 07, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 929
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:11 am Post subject: |
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I get what you're saying. And windscar, please, some of us actually have problems with that.
Every time I have a free moment it seems like I'm stuck to the same activities. I had to break the cycle and force myself into random activities. But even now, I feel that yes, the monotony of my free time makes my work etc. even worse.
_________________
"The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls..." |
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Omar
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jul 13, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 70
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:13 am Post subject: |
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Man u gotta vary your routine up, find where them locals be hoppin' at and get yourself round them parts. Festivals, events, community organizations. etc. there always be groups in your community catered to your interests/hobbies. Well, maybe not always...but I suppose you aint typin away on some communal 'puter from some single squared mile'd boondocks where half the village be your cousin.
Get there, find like-minded people and go from there. If nothing else, at least u break'n habit.
Or just buy some tight-cheeked leotards at your local costume shop and beat up on some gang bangers at night...that'll get u quite the contrast to your office job |
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windscar15
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 431
Location: San Jose, California
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 12:45 am Post subject: |
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Hey, Omar's got the right idea.
I'm only stating the facts. If you want friends and a change of routine, just try doing something unpredictable.
You have problems and they seem to be getting in the way, but unless you try overcoming those problems, you'll only stay in the same hole. |
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marshall
Under the whirlwind
Joined: Apr 15, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1428
Location: North West United States
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:25 am Post subject: Re: Free Time Not Rejuvenating Enough? |
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| NeantHumain wrote: | Since I have no friends, I am by and large relegated to being at home or doing things by myself in my free time, which is fine to an extent, but it's not very fulfilling and not especially fun or enjoyable. When I come back to work after my boring weekends (where I end up doing the same thing just about every time: go to the park, go to the bookstore, go out to eat at some quick-service restaurant where I can go by myself), they haven't provided me enough of a break or change of pace from the drudgery of being stuck in an office for eight hours of my day (plus another hour for lunch). The trouble is I am bored and restless at work and thus less interested in doing my work (although so far I've still gotten it done, albeit sometimes a bit sloppily). I am also sick of the sterile environment, and this makes everything about the place increasingly irritating (even the sounds of people's voices or accents). I begin to find being stuck there an unwanted burden and grow to dislike the people around me (really not for anything against them but more or less because I've become sick of the place, I guess).
Unfortunately, I know in situations like this, my self-control can weaken considerably, which is why I prefer to take preventative measures. (Yes, my job doesn't interest me much, but changing it is another story.)
Does anyone else find that having too much dullness during one's free time makes dealing with the more unpleasant/less enjoyable times harder? |
That’s exactly how I feel. I need excitement in my life to thrive. Nothing's ever fun enough for me these days.
The NT idea of fun is not my idea of fun either. I don't like drinking. I don't like meeting new people. I don't like going to street fairs or shopping. I don't like watching sports. Watching boring programming on the television doesn't relax me. |
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Malsane
Toucan
Joined: Jun 30, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 262
Location: Iowa, USA
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:34 am Post subject: |
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| I'm having this problem now. I actually did the thing I hate doing, made a to do list. I've been feeling trapped by time, like I'll never have enough of it. I get stuck doing the same thing all the time, every day, and I still can't get enough, like a miserable addict. So I've made a list of things I want to get to every day, so I don't get stuck doing the same thing. I'll let you know if it works, and maybe you can try to. |
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Bradleigh
Aspie Vampire Gamer
Joined: May 26, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 3755
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:36 am Post subject: |
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That wold be nice.
_________________
Whats life without a little bit of fun?
7th virtue: Humility |
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-JR
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 11, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 806
Location: Somewhere in Time
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 1:53 am Post subject: |
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I'm actually going through some of the same problems right now...
I really don't know what to do at the moment, but I like Omar's idea. 
_________________
Still grateful.
"...do you really think you're in control...?"
Diagnosis: uncertain. |
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lelia
Pika
Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Age: 56
Posts: 1426
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:07 am Post subject: |
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| Maybe you could join a club that does something you are interested in. I belong to writer's critique groups. My AS son does LARPing, Live Action Role Playing. He runs around in the woods whacking people with a foam noodle sword. |
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Bradleigh
Aspie Vampire Gamer
Joined: May 26, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 3755
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 2:26 am Post subject: |
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I remember when I was in school and we would do things like be Dragonball Z character, Zoids and Stargate. Sometimes it was a bit violent but I was the biggest and oldest, I miss days like that.
_________________
Whats life without a little bit of fun?
7th virtue: Humility |
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MysteryFan3
Ex-COBOL dinosaur. roar.
Joined: Jun 09, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 1358
Location: Indiana
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 4:16 pm Post subject: |
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You might try something physical like biking, bowling, archery, throwing a knife or boomerang, practice using a bullwhip, martial arts, bodybuilding, etc.
Some more cerebral ideas: chess, checkers, jigsaw puzzles (nature scenes only), mensa puzzles, obscure math problems, ham radio.
Arts and crafts: knitting, crochet, needlepoint, whittling, woodworking, drawing, painting, writing, scrapbooking.
_________________
To eliminate poverty, you have to eliminate at least three things: time, the bell curve and the Pauli Exclusion Principle. Have fun. |
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johnners
Blue Jay
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 36
Posts: 81
Location: California
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 5:51 pm Post subject: |
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Very interesting idea, I'd never made the connection between a dull social life and dull job, though now you make it seem obvious.
In my single days I lived on my own and, like you and some of the other posters, found myself doing the same few things, and when I did try and vary a bit, found I got frustrated because I couldn't concentrate, or I just didn't know what else to do and eded up going back to my limited set of activities that had just about exhausted their enjoyment.
Now I'm married, my social life is a bit more active, though it's all through my wife, I don't have any friends of my own. My wife loves her job and is quite happy to sit and veg for a good part of her free time. I can't really do what I used to do when single (my interests are pretty esoteric and my wife is rather baffled by them and I'm slighly embarrased by them) so I don't get to do anything I really want to and so get frustrated all over again.
I don't know what advice I can give you, but one thing is for sure: finding a partner or getting married won't necessarily cure you of your dull free time. Being in a relationship has it's advantages, though. |
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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3613
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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| Posted: Mon Jul 21, 2008 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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| windscar15 wrote: | just try making friends.
Would it kill you? |
I take it you have no idea what Asperger's syndrome actually is. |
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windscar15
Velociraptor
Joined: Feb 17, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 431
Location: San Jose, California
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| Posted: Tue Jul 22, 2008 2:19 am Post subject: |
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Uhh. yeah I know what it means
But I don't care about some stupid label, here, its all about individual character. |
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