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preacherelf
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 28, 2008
Posts: 17
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 Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:26 pm Post subject: Only you can prevent forest fires |
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Did you know that elves are in danger due to forest fires? Sometimes mortals make the mistake of oops accidentally pouring gasoline on trees and setting them on fire as they run off muhahahaing. Elves die over this.
You can help. Please join the cause in spreading elf awareness. |
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pandd
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 16, 2006
Posts: 621
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:30 pm Post subject: |
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| You assert we can help, but appear to have neglected any information as to what we might do to help. Lacking a plan for effective action, please forgive us if our response to the elf-plight you describe fails to effect any change for the better. |
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preacherelf
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 28, 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Added link of webpage in profile. Thank you kind humans! |
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Kilroy
Establishment knows whats best
Joined: Apr 25, 2007
Posts: 10475
Location: Driving the Last Spike
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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what does an elf look like?
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Hail Saltandor
supporter for the cure |
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patternist
Will Work for Money
Joined: Jul 29, 2008
Age: 35
Posts: 2056
Location: wouldn't you like to know?
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:46 pm Post subject: |
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| What does an elf smell like? What do they eat? What do they drive? Furthermore, what are the diagnostic criteria? |
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Bradleigh
Shadow Leopard
Joined: May 26, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 4349
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 1:48 pm Post subject: |
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Whats santa like? 
Just because the others said elf instead of elve
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They're sinking cities with a GIANT WOOOOORM!!!!
7th virtue: Humility |
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PilotPirx
Deinonychus
Joined: May 09, 2008
Age: 38
Posts: 334
Location: Amsterdam, NL
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:27 pm Post subject: Re: Only you can prevent forest fires |
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| preacherelf wrote: | Did you know that elves are in danger due to forest fires? Sometimes mortals make the mistake of oops accidentally pouring gasoline on trees and setting them on fire as they run off muhahahaing. Elves die over this.
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That's exactly the purpose of setting fire to forests: Eradicate the elves. They suck!
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Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before (E.A.Poe)
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Foringinn
Hummingbird
Joined: Jul 20, 2008
Posts: 22
Location: Iceland
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 2:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Silly person, elves live in hills not forests. And they are evil. |
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Eggman
das Freak'n Techno Viking!
Joined: Jul 18, 2008
Posts: 2213
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 3:09 pm Post subject: |
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| Only me and noone else, what a responsibility! |
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aintnowreck
Raven
Joined: Aug 26, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 112
Location: Somewhere on the shortwave band
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 3:24 pm Post subject: |
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I love the scent of burning elves in the morning. 
Just kidding. Almost.
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There's nothing like pirate radio on shortwave. Long live free radio!
Music saved my life, musicians ruined it. |
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DeaconBlues
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide - call me...
Joined: Apr 22, 2007
Posts: 1627
Location: Earth, mostly
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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That's right, Eggman - only you can prevent forest fires. Not the Department of the Interior, not the fire department - even the elves themselves are helpless in the face of this threat! (Why do you think so many of them agree to live in virtual slavery at the North Pole, making toys for a fat white guy who only works one day a year? No forests there!)
And of course, that means I have no responsibility, either... 
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If it can't be expressed in figures, it is not science; it is opinion. - Robert A. Heinlein |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2625
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 6:34 pm Post subject: |
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STOP ELF SLAVERY NOW!
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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RubieRoze
Toucan
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Posts: 253
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject: |
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Wots all this then about florist friars at the North Pole?  |
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preacherelf
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 28, 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 7:43 pm Post subject: |
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Many elves escaped the clutches of that horrible man Santa Claus but that can't be said for alot of other elves who are now slaves to mortal children making toys and even rubbing Santa's crusty feet.
It's an awful fate. Santa also eats fairies to keep himself alive.
Famous elves exist among mortals passing themselves off as mortals. One mortal elf is Tori Amos. She hides her ears. Mortals make elves ashamed of their ears and some even have plastic ear surgery just to fit in. Even after that, they are still in fact....elves!
Common traits of elves physically are mostly ears. Some have very pointy ears, not all. Some just have a minor point at the top. It's not like how the media portrays to scare mortals.
Not all elves are nice either. Some elves turned to the dark side after being a slave to the Keebler cookie factory. They revolted, became rebellious and stayed that way then they turned into biker elves.
There are many elves that exist in the mortal realm. Sadly most elves are labelled with some mental defect and drugged in an attempt to convince elves that they are humans.
There are alot of hints in dreams that occur or even when awake that you are an elf trying to blend into human society. |
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Fuzzy
Ack! Thbbbt!
Joined: Mar 31, 2006
Posts: 2120
Location: Alberta Canada
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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| patternist wrote: | | What does an elf smell like? |
Smoked.
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