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Tool
Emu Egg
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Joined: Nov 06, 2005
Posts: 3
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 Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 9:52 pm Post subject: Ask me about not wallowing in self pity. |
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The first two years of high school for me were horrible, lonely, agonized years where I had no direction or any hope for a future. At lunch I'd sit against a wall until it was over. I'd go home and play video games or go on the internet. It was terrible. I was terrible.
Then I snapped out of it. Now I have tons of friends and a direction for the course of my life. But first I had to snap out of this victim mentality.
The very name of this website implies a sort of "Oh poor me" feeling that is just sickening. Wrong Planet? Oh it's just not fair! Why was I born this way? I'll just have to console myself with the thought that it's completely out of my hands as I sit alone, generally miserable but knowing it's not my fault! Am I right?
What is wrong with you people? Are you gonna let this mental disorder define your entire life? Is it who you are? Are you destined to be a social outcast because of bad genetics, or mercury in your flu shots, or whatever unknown pathology causes these supposedly related pyschological symptoms.
Or are you going to put yourself around people, make friends, learn signals, force yourself to make eye contact, and all that happy horseshit? This 'condition' seems like it's giving all you people an excuse to be miserable and wallow in self pity because you were 'born this way'.
Everyone has some disadvantage, you don't need to obsess over it all the time. Take charge and stop thinking of yourself as some helpless loser who can never change.
I came here when I heard of William Fruend posting on the Something Awful forums. Even in my darkest, loneliest days it never occured to me to wallow in self with a bunch of socially awkward geeks just like me in some communal reinforcement circle jerk forum.
And may the great garfield not strike my message of hope from these forums like so many shattered puckins. |
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hecate
chav slayer
Joined: Jun 22, 2005
Posts: 1011
Location: norwich, UK.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 10:25 pm Post subject: Re: Ask me about not wallowing in self pity. |
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| Tool wrote: |
Then I snapped out of it. Now I have tons of friends and a direction for the course of my life. |
lucky you.
_________________
"...but, if there isn't room here for people who stand against everything you believe in, then what sort of a hippy free-for-all is this?" |
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Tool
Emu Egg
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Joined: Nov 06, 2005
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 10:28 pm Post subject: Re: Ask me about not wallowing in self pity. |
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| hecate wrote: | | Tool wrote: |
Then I snapped out of it. Now I have tons of friends and a direction for the course of my life. |
lucky you. |
No. That's the point. It's not luck. You can all do it. If you motivate yourselves. You're just off to a bad start. Go out and learn for Gods sake. Don't spend all your time talking on a forum about how you're a victim of pre and neonatal circumstance |
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hecate
chav slayer
Joined: Jun 22, 2005
Posts: 1011
Location: norwich, UK.
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 10:55 pm Post subject: |
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i do not come to this site to talk about how i'm a "victim." i come to this site to give and recieve support to / from people who have had similar experiences to me. i also come to this site as an escape from people who act as though they're a higher authority on what's best for me. if you don't approve of the content of this site, no one is forcing you to participate.
_________________
"...but, if there isn't room here for people who stand against everything you believe in, then what sort of a hippy free-for-all is this?" |
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spacemonkey
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 29, 2004
Posts: 622
Location: Atlanta, Ga
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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yeah, what she said. 
_________________
"I was made to love magic, all its wonder to know, but you all lost that magic many many years ago."
N Drake |
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lowfreq50
Phoenix
Joined: May 02, 2005
Posts: 1588
Location: Gainesville, Florida
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 12:38 am Post subject: |
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First of all, not everyone here has victim mentality.
Secondly, if you don't like this site why did you become a member? |
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North
Raven
Joined: Nov 06, 2005
Posts: 118
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 1:51 am Post subject: Re: Ask me about not wallowing in self pity. |
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I'll go so far to say that, at least for me, AS was somewhat mental. Once I could come to grips with the anxiety (which was all in my head), I did far better.
However, keep in mind that AS and autism is all part of a spectrum. There are people on here that are afraid to even go out, and there are people that fit into society quite well and would appear entirely normal. You, most likely, are towards the high-function end, but many people are not.
Your suggestion that people on here have a victim mentality is ridiculous. People are here because they want to meet people they have something in common with. It's no different than a forum about Stephen King books, or computer hardware, or marijuana. Members there all like to read/build PCs/get stoned. These forums are no different. |
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pooftis
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 11, 2005
Posts: 351
Location: San Marcos, CA
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 1:51 am Post subject: |
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I do have to agree with you on many points. I have been extremely disheartned by the amount of victim/poor me/I'm so depressed/nothing I can do but cry about it stuff I read here. I hoped to find other people who, while having certain set backs, were working around them and could understand my odd point of view on the world. Instead I am realzing I realte more to NT's that I know because at least they aren't wallowing in self pity and excuses, I'm actually not sure I want to keep reading or posting here now. (I'm sure there will bea barrage of "then why are you here?" comments, but I ask those people the same question, if all you want to do is complain, why are YOU here, what purpose are you having?)
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I hate hearing, "you don't seem autistic/aspie". I have a nagging suspicion most people have no idea what autistic or aspie "seem" like in the first place... |
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Tim_p
Phoenix
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Joined: Dec 29, 2004
Posts: 511
Location: Alberta, Canada.
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 2:36 am Post subject: Re: Ask me about not wallowing in self pity. |
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| Tool wrote: | | Is it who you are? |
Uh, yes, both in a technical sense and in a more practical sense, I am autistic, I don't have autism, I'm not afflicted with a disorder, I am autistic. As are the majority of people here. |
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Renagade
Sea Gull
Joined: Oct 25, 2005
Posts: 201
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 3:29 am Post subject: |
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| Were not all victims. A lot of us do have friends and fulfilling lives. But we do have real problems, which is why we come here - to help each other overcome them. |
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Who_Am_I
Caffeine-Powered Human-Type Thing
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Age: 24
Posts: 3216
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 3:43 am Post subject: Re: Ask me about not wallowing in self pity. |
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| Tool wrote: | The first two years of high school for me were horrible, lonely, agonized years where I had no direction or any hope for a future. At lunch I'd sit against a wall until it was over. I'd go home and play video games or go on the internet. It was terrible. I was terrible.
Then I snapped out of it. Now I have tons of friends and a direction for the course of my life. But first I had to snap out of this victim mentality.
The very name of this website implies a sort of "Oh poor me" feeling that is just sickening. Wrong Planet? Oh it's just not fair! Why was I born this way? I'll just have to console myself with the thought that it's completely out of my hands as I sit alone, generally miserable but knowing it's not my fault! Am I right?
What is wrong with you people? Are you gonna let this mental disorder define your entire life? Is it who you are? Are you destined to be a social outcast because of bad genetics, or mercury in your flu shots, or whatever unknown pathology causes these supposedly related pyschological symptoms.
Or are you going to put yourself around people, make friends, learn signals, force yourself to make eye contact, and all that happy horseshit? This 'condition' seems like it's giving all you people an excuse to be miserable and wallow in self pity because you were 'born this way'.
Everyone has some disadvantage, you don't need to obsess over it all the time. Take charge and stop thinking of yourself as some helpless loser who can never change.
I came here when I heard of William Fruend posting on the Something Awful forums. Even in my darkest, loneliest days it never occured to me to wallow in self with a bunch of socially awkward geeks just like me in some communal reinforcement circle jerk forum.
And may the great garfield not strike my message of hope from these forums like so many shattered puckins. |
Self pity? No. I come here because it's one of the few places in the world where there are lots of people who think like me. Many of them have also shared the same difficulties that I had in my schooldays.
If you are interested in sports, it makes sense to seek out other sports fans. The same logic goes for AS.
Mental disorder? Not in my opinion. Different way of thinking and looking at the world. If we all sat around and talked about the weather, nothing much would get done.
As for defining our entire lives, OF COURSE IT DOES. It is an integral part of our fricking personalities. We can, and should try to overcome the difficulties, but there is no way we can change our fundamental personality.
Eye contact? What is it with NTs and eye contact?
I. Hear. With. My. Ears. Understand?
Helpless loser? Yeah...
IQ somewhere in the high 120s/low 130s
Studying at my country's top musical institution
Play 11 instruments
Planning on doing a psychology degree once I get my music degree
Well liked by the (admittedly few) people who have got to know me
Also quite well liked by my casual acquaintances
Not one enemy
Admired by all who know me for my intelligence, musical ability and knowledge of psychology
Facing up to my social phobia by going and starting conversations with random people on trains (all you do is throw up in terror, then go and introduce yourself.)
This really sounds like a helpless loser, doesn't it?
Socially awkward geeks? What, may I ask, is wrong with being socially awkward?
_________________
I don't dislike humans, I just don't want them to inhabit the same planet as me. |
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Who_Am_I
Caffeine-Powered Human-Type Thing
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Age: 24
Posts: 3216
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 3:46 am Post subject: |
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As for the Wrong Planet thing: It is not whining. It is a reference to the description of AS as (cool, that is the same letters twice in a row.  (Stop getting distracted.) "Oops, wrong planet syndrome".
When you spend your entire life wondering "why do I feel so different?", it does feel as though you've been put on the wrong planet.
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I don't dislike humans, I just don't want them to inhabit the same planet as me. |
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SleepingDoofus
Hummingbird
Joined: Oct 21, 2005
Posts: 21
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 4:21 am Post subject: |
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I agree with you totally.
I'm sure a lot of people on Wrong Planet who are confident and living their lives in a successfully that it comes as a surprise to know that they're even autistic. But there are others I see who wallow in self-pity and are miserable with their lives.
To those people, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and be confident. I suggest you do something totally different to break the habit. Like wake up at 6am tomorrow and run around your block twice, before going to school/uni. It may sound simple, but it's a start and you can work your way ahead. |
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hale_bopp
Ruffle some Feathers
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 23
Posts: 6201
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 6:20 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | a bunch of socially awkward geeks |
Oh that's a bit harsh! :0
You seem like you have alot more problems than most of the people here, tool, if you felt you needed to register to tell people off. |
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fahreeq
Phoenix
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Joined: Aug 16, 2005
Posts: 590
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 7:22 am Post subject: |
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Tool, if you think AS is all about social skills and nothing else, you are terribly uninformed.  |
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