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gsilver
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 21, 2006
Posts: 533
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 Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 2:10 am Post subject: When's the last time you went on a date? |
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(all different girls)
Last time that I went on what I thought was a date and she didn't: 1.5 years. Outcome: she told me that she already had "someone she liked" and cut contact.
Last time that I went on a real date: one month short of 2 years. Outcome: She cut all contact after 2nd date.
First time I ever went on a date: Just over 2 years. Outcome: She wasn't interested and I was moving away anyway.
...and I'm just over 2 years away from being 30. |
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Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1259
Location: Cyber Control
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 2:19 am Post subject: |
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| What's a date? |
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Rynok
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 11, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 414
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 7:24 am Post subject: |
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23 years and counting...schweet!!
(Now if you count unofficial dates, where you just hangout with the opposite sex 1 on 1, then I guess a few months ago?) |
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n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 663
Location: Palm Beach, FL
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 7:28 am Post subject: |
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| Cyberman wrote: | | What's a date? |
Its a fruit from a date palm tree. People eat them. I've never seen one, but I think its like a baby coconut.
Dates
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Cadzie
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 24, 2007
Posts: 174
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 7:43 am Post subject: |
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| hmmm, well been a few months since a last time I had a date, not the fruit type, but with a woman, it's been... couple of years since my last serious relationship, starting to lose hope sometimes, |
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No_YOU_get_over_it
Toucan
Joined: Jun 29, 2008
Posts: 255
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 7:59 am Post subject: |
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Dates are overrated, but you need a few of them under your belt in order to be truly convinced of that.
Last date was in May. Awful. I'd met the guy at a garden center on a Saturday morning when I was itching for contact; he came up and asked if he could invite me to lunch (in a restaurant) that same day. Hoping my first read of him was wrong, I agreed. Figured we could at least talk plants. We figured out when & where to meet. He was relieved when the place I'd selected was closed, so we went to his favorite place.
He killed any chance he might have had by first trying to move to using the informal version of 'you' and then when I said I'd rather not, by saying that people 'our age' usually use the informal version with each other. Ugh - he was 13 yrs older, and I'm fine with my own age, don't hurry up time for me.
We couldn't talk plants at all, b/c he was ignorant and not interested. The amount and mix he'd bought for his balcony was guaranteed to look scraggly and cheap, but I told him it would all fill in really nicely, hoping he'd counter me, say he wasn't sure. Nope, he thought it was the best EVER. I told him about a monastery nearby that runs a greenhouse with a gazillion varieties of hardy 'ivy' (hedera helix), to use as a base so the boxes would have green in winter. Zero interest.
Despite that, I managed to keep conversation going really well, but it was like an interview for a job you don't want. Except in a job interview it could be a useful contact and you could get interesting information about the company. None of that w/ this guy. He was basically a smaller, older (and my ex was too old for me), less attractive version of my ex. An open book, pretty much - I guessed his birth order and some other stuff, which wowed him.
The only amusing thing was that the waiter on duty didn't recognize date guy, b/c he was subbed in from one of the owner's lower-market restaurants. Here it's a kind of date trick to take the woman to a place where people are happy to see you, so if that's what he was trying, it flopped. Instead the waiter recognized me, b/c I used to go to his restaurant with a bunch of people after a discussion group. The waiter gave me the same warm smile he gives all women, and brought us little appetizers and pro secco on the house. I know my glee over that is kind of schadenfreudig, but to have beat an NT at his own game was satisfying, even if by accident.
Smoke a cigarette, take 20 minutes off your life. Go on a lame date, take 2 hours off your life. Plus 10 minutes typing out this post. Ugh. When we parted the dude said I should call him if I got bored and wanted to so something. I said sure, but did he have another card b/c by the time I unpacked my plants I'd already lost the one he gave me at the greenhouse. That, and that I stiffly continued using the formal version of 'you' and that I wouldn't tell him my first name probably gave him the math on that deal.
That was the only first date in my life where I let the guy pay. I told him that, too, as we were leaving. Well not so directly, just that I'd never let a man pick up the check like that but this time I was going to let him. What I wanted to do was bill him for pain and suffering, but that was my own fault.
Dating is kind of baloney, from what I can tell. gsilver if I lived in your area I'd take you on a date, and I'd pay. It wouldn't be a real date b/c I'm likely too old for your tastes, and b/c I hate dates. But your numbers seem to be bothering you. If you want to try meeting people on-line, there are a few people on the board w/ experience who could help you tweak your profile & strategy.
_________________
- NYGOI
NB: contents of above post represent my opinion at time of post only. YMMV, NAYY, and most importantly, IALBTC! |
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Cadzie
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 24, 2007
Posts: 174
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:10 am Post subject: |
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| I got a better Idea, No you get over it, love the name and yet I've used that exact statement many times, call me, call me, any time!, lol cheesy mention of pop music, but seriously, you have spirit, lady! |
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LiendaBalla
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 24, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 747
Location: Houston Texas United States
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
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My last date was last month, and I descover recently that it wasn't real, it was forced.  This is an aquaintance I have for over 7 @#$ years! He is indeed turned off by me, beyond a reasonable doubt in my mind. If he's not interested, he needs to stop the games, in my oppinion. Am I emotionaly hurt over loosing any possibility of dateing with him in the future? NO!  I'm just angry, because I try for them even though I wasn't looking only to get rejected over and over like I'm some desperate attention hound. I'm not desperate for attention, by any measure.
_________________
Removing objects and material out of our mental perspective leaves only the thought of our souls.
Lienda Balla the EDIT QUEEN!
Last edited by LiendaBalla on Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:13 am; edited 1 time in total |
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:13 am Post subject: |
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ok ok try this.
most AS are bad at communicating emotion, intent, picking up non verbal cues making na fforming friendships etc...we all know this.
so rather than date and get all excited and repeateddly...f- it up. try this.
go to acticvities, chess, archery, pottery whatever you want...just go for an activity and in the course of this activity you will meet people and the friendships formed are secondary to the activity. As tend to be good at whatever they obsess about and in an activity of interest that we are good at, others may see us in a different manner and friendships may form.
dont go on a date just to dat you/we screw it up a lot. go out with people , groups etc for activites and the dates etc come secondary to this...thyey do come. as a secondary goal.
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a great civilisation cannot be conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within- W. Durant |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3458
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:14 am Post subject: |
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| n4mwd wrote: | | Cyberman wrote: | | What's a date? |
Its a fruit from a date palm tree. People eat them. I've never seen one, but I think its like a baby coconut.
Dates
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It's a delicious fruit ,not my favorite tho but it has a religious significance to a lot of people in mid-east (muslims) ... it doesn't taste like a baby coconut even if it's a cousin species, it's dry inside and very sweet. The fruit can be eaten when it's in mature or immature stage, it s much drier and less sweet when it's cultivated in immature stage. It's also used as ingredient for sweet foods. |
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LiendaBalla
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 24, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 747
Location: Houston Texas United States
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:19 am Post subject: |
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| donkey wrote: | ok ok try this.
most AS are bad at communicating emotion, intent, picking up non verbal cues making na fforming friendships etc...we all know this.
so rather than date and get all excited and repeateddly...f- it up. try this.
go to acticvities, chess, archery, pottery whatever you want...just go for an activity and in the course of this activity you will meet people and the friendships formed are secondary to the activity. As tend to be good at whatever they obsess about and in an activity of interest that we are good at, others may see us in a different manner and friendships may form.
dont go on a date just to dat you/we screw it up a lot. go out with people , groups etc for activites and the dates etc come secondary to this...thyey do come. as a secondary goal. |
Oh, it's not communication that's the issue. That would only make me a hypocrat. No, I accept the quite types whole heartedly, and prefer them over outgoing. People who are outgoing aren't on my social level. (this is getting frustrating to have to explain) I mean to say he literaly acts turned off by me, but tries to pull this "I like you" act. And I'm a loner, by the way. I have befriended, as they acted like they wanted, only to get avoided repeatidly.
_________________
Removing objects and material out of our mental perspective leaves only the thought of our souls.
Lienda Balla the EDIT QUEEN!
Last edited by LiendaBalla on Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:27 am; edited 2 times in total |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3458
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:25 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | He was basically a smaller, older (and my ex was too old for me), less attractive version of my ex. An open book, pretty much - I guessed his birth order and some other stuff, which wowed him. |
The natural alphahood comparison.
| Quote: | | That was the only first date in my life where I let the guy pay. I told him that, too, as we were leaving. Well not so directly, just that I'd never let a man pick up the check like that but this time I was going to let him. What I wanted to do was bill him for pain and suffering, but that was my own fault. |
You made it pay for not being your type, hmm.
| Quote: |
He killed any chance he might have had by first trying to move to using the informal version of 'you' and then when I said I'd rather not |
I am confused.
You are not talking about English,no?
| Quote: | | Last date was in May. Awful. I'd met the guy at a garden center on a Saturday morning when I was itching for contact; he came up and asked if he could invite me to lunch (in a restaurant) that same day. Hoping my first read of him was wrong, I agreed. Figured we could at least talk plants. We figured out when & where to meet. He was relieved when the place I'd selected was closed, so we went to his favorite place. |
Not all people visiting a zoo are animal specialists and neither not all people who are visiting a garden center are plant specialists .
| Quote: | | Dating is kind of baloney, from what I can tell. gsilver if I lived in your area I'd take you on a date, and I'd pay |
Don't make such empty promises before seeing the guy in flesh and blood.
Last edited by LePetitPrince on Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:37 am; edited 2 times in total |
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Crocodile
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 28, 2008
Age: 16
Posts: 39
Location: Ede, The Netherlands
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:26 am Post subject: |
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| My last date was two years ago, and I am sixteen....I could have had more dates, but I don't like it, I find most guys (I'm a girl) extremely boring and ignorant and most of the time I can predict what joke they'll tell. Mostly, I keep people of the opposite sex away, I don't need their presence as optional boyfriends, I don't need kissing and all these things most people seem to love and like. It's not so great that whenever a guy wants attention from me, and starts talking to me, I always think they are just being kind and friendly, and not something more. And then I am asked for my phone number...very irritating, I am bad at reading people's intentions. |
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:31 am Post subject: |
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ok lienda the response was for the initial poster, if you have a similar problem then make another thread otherwise the initial poster and others may get confused over the advice rendered in this thread.
sorry to sound harsh. we have comm diffs as it is without two different postsing in one thread. |
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n4mwd
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 08, 2008
Posts: 663
Location: Palm Beach, FL
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 8:49 am Post subject: |
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Anyone who wants to date needs to get on okcupid.com. You can usually find someone if you post an honest and descent photo of yourself. Its an especially good site for aspies although you should leave that fact out of the profile.
That is a totally free site. You never need a credit card to get in. Donating money for support is optional. The way I see it, if you are successful with them, then send them some money as a token of appreciation, otherwise, don't. |
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