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Kacy
Emu Egg
Joined: Aug 03, 2008
Posts: 7
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 Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 12:06 pm Post subject: mom needs aspie kid advice! |
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Hello everyone! I really need your expert advice regarding my 6 year old aspie son. We go to church on Sundays, and he is now old enough to go to "Sunday school", which is religious education that would begin AFTER church (church is 1 hour), and last 1 hour. I think it follows the entire school year, or close to that. He must go to religious education to become a full member of our church by the time he is a young adult. His dad and I both did this as kids as well. My question is, my instinct is that 2 hours of church/school on Sundays is going to be too much for him. I may have the choice of "homeschooling" his religious education (he is not homeschooled for regular school, he will go to 1st grade in September). What would you want to do if you were him? Oh, and "neither" isn't an option, his dad and I both think it is important for his brother (1 year old) and him to be raised with some religious foundation. Should we do the after church Sunday school, or do it with him at home? And IF homeschool, should we do it on Sundays as well (I was thinking at a library or somewhere NOT at home/too many interesting distractions!)
Thank you so much!!! I am excited to hear your responses! It is great to talk with aspies!
Kacy |
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WhiskeryBeast
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Age: 26
Posts: 28
Location: Reno, NV
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 1:32 pm Post subject: |
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I agree that two hours might be a bit much at this point, especially as he is young.
Also, a bit of a warning, my parents made me do the same thing, and by the time I got to be a young adult, I was so sick of being forced to accept some other people's views that I stopped going to church and have not been in several years now.
Doing the education on a different day of the week too might be better, as it will be easier probably to talk to him about the message you have tried to get across.
Church for any kid, aspie or not at that age is difficult, it means long time of being quiet and sitting still, and you really don't know or care about what is being talked about. I know myself at that age would have rather gone and played and the few times I did listen, I thought the sermon was dubious at best.
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The rose and the thorn, and sorrow and gladness are linked together. |
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zghost
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 29, 2007
Posts: 767
Location: Southeast Texas
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 2:23 pm Post subject: |
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When I was a kid, Sunday School AND church was just torture. And church was so completely boring (to a little kid)....
My parents started taking us just to Sunday School, which was at least interactive and not long and droning. It was more tolerable this way. |
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Brunny
Raven
Joined: Jul 12, 2008
Age: 43
Posts: 108
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 3:26 pm Post subject: |
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| lolreligion |
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DevonB
Toucan
Joined: Mar 14, 2008
Age: 40
Posts: 262
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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| Let's hear it for brainwashing at an early age! |
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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try asking him and then ask us.
_________________
a great civilisation cannot be conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within- W. Durant |
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legendoftheselkie
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 16, 2008
Posts: 167
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 3:59 pm Post subject: Sunday school? |
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| The best thing would be a church that was more participatory and didn't involve so much sitting and being quiet. But I understand, you're part of this community and this congregation and looking for a way to integrate your child into it. Maybe try Sunday school out to see if it works- many children are very receptive to religion at that age. If it's too much of a burden, go to home-schooling- including age- appropriate community service as religious training. Making packages to send to soldiers, community cleanup programs, feeding the homeless, visiting nursing homes- all part of a good religious education. |
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Justthatgirl11
Sea Gull
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Joined: Apr 29, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 227
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:10 pm Post subject: |
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We take our kids to church with us, no Sunday School. They sit in with us during the entire 1hr 45min on Sundays and Tuesdays, as well as 1 hr study on Saturday mornings. (Some in the congregation do it on Thursday nights.) On Sundays and Tuesdays the services are broken up midway with a song of praise to God and then we sit down again for the remainder. We've done this since before any of them were born. While it IS challenging w/ my aspie (he's 8 now) we stuck with it and he does well. He's used to the routine and expects it.
When he was younger we would have to get up with him periodically and just walk or stand at the back for a little while because he gets bored.
When I was younger, my parents would reach over and pinch me if I was too fidgety or noisy and couldn't sit still or got bored.  I do not recommend that practice. (They did not know I was an aspie, but I can't be sure that would have mattered anyway.)
We give our kids (the 8 yr old aspie and the 6 yr old w/ sensory processing disorder) notebooks, a pen or pencil, Bible Story books, and their own bible and songbook. They're happy to sit and draw or read their Bible story books. Usually it goes well, but as I stated previously, sometimes we do have to take the aspie to the back and walk with him a little bit. Change his environment.
All the parents do this, actually. There is no Sunday school, there is no nursery. The kids are with their parents.
So, basically, I think he'll do fine for those 2 hrs. Just be prepared to distract him a bit.
_________________
~ Carrie 
It's just me and I'll find a way to make it (Blue October/It's Just Me) |
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soljaboi51
Raven
Joined: Dec 08, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 100
Location: Seattle, Washington, United States
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:15 pm Post subject: |
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| Any parent who wants to give their kid a religious education is ignorant. Maybe youre kid doesnt give a sh** about religion, let him choose want he wants. I am agnostic as well as my family and we dont waste our time believing that religious bullshit. |
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Justthatgirl11
Sea Gull
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Joined: Apr 29, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 227
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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How can the kids believe what they want unless they have a basis on which to form opinions?
I believe in God because I chose to. My brothers, who were raised the same way, each made their own choice, as well. One of them has the same beliefs, the other 2 don't. How could they have made that choice unless they'd been exposed to it?
Be nice - the mom just wants advice on how to go about teaching her son. She didn't ask for advice on whether to teach him about God or Buddah or anyone else. she asked HOW. There's a difference.
_________________
~ Carrie
It's just me and I'll find a way to make it (Blue October/It's Just Me) |
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:30 pm Post subject: |
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you combine AS with religion , any religion, you get flame on scenarios.
as alwasy it boils down to who is right, and what is right gets lost in the mix.
my advice?
drop it.
both sides.
_________________
a great civilisation cannot be conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within- W. Durant |
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Justthatgirl11
Sea Gull
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Joined: Apr 29, 2008
Age: 31
Posts: 227
Location: San Antonio, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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| donkey wrote: | you combine AS with religion , any religion, you get flame on scenarios.
as alwasy it boils down to who is right, and what is right gets lost in the mix. |
I've noticed.
why is that?
_________________
~ Carrie
It's just me and I'll find a way to make it (Blue October/It's Just Me) |
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Lucid
Hummingbird
Joined: Aug 04, 2008
Posts: 20
Location: 8th Spatial Dimension
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 5:59 pm Post subject: |
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| donkey wrote: | | try asking him and then ask us. |
Seconded.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm Christian, and I have AS. But I converted from Judeo-Atheism and general anti-religiousness which my parents raised me with. If you want him to have religious foundation, model it in your life--let him see you give charity, let him see you help in your community, and let him see you smile and give an extra moment to a struggling person even if you're in a rush.
Your focus should not be 'How can I get my AS child to follow my religion,' but 'How can I get God's AS child to follow God's religion.'
The answer is simple -- enjoy church. Let him see you pray outside of church. Slow down and talk with him about what God means to you. If you're a religious person, God matters to you. There is nothing you can do that will help him more with religion than to simply follow the word of God--and the word of God doesn't say, 'make him sit through 2 hours of something he doesn't understand,' it says, 'love thy neighbor as thyself' and 'forgive others so that you may be forgiven.'
God makes no judgement about whether someone is AS or NT. God makes judgement about whether you listen to your child and whether you listen to God.
_________________
Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers. - Voltaire |
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 6:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Justthatgirl11 wrote: | | donkey wrote: | you combine AS with religion , any religion, you get flame on scenarios.
as alwasy it boils down to who is right, and what is right gets lost in the mix. |
I've noticed.
why is that? |
like i said.....................drop it.
_________________
a great civilisation cannot be conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within- W. Durant |
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gbollard
cosmic hobo
Joined: Oct 06, 2007
Age: 39
Posts: 3269
Location: Sydney, Australia
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| Posted: Sun Aug 10, 2008 6:54 pm Post subject: |
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Hang on guys, the mother asked about her child's tolerance for a different type of education - not for an opinion on religion.
The main difference between a Sunday School type religion class and a normal school class is that Sunday School classes tend to be more informal and don't stick to routine as much. There's also a good chance that the teacher is a volunteer rather than a normal teacher and that there will be a mix of ages and plenty of distractions.
For an aspie, this translates to;
- No routine
- No rules
- Strong reliance upon social skills.
All three are quite difficult for aspies and I can only say that I think your child would feel quite pressured and stressed in that class. You might want to try it but stay nearby (out of sight) and watch. Personally, I think that you'd be better off homeschooling this one.
_________________
Gavin.
http://life-with-aspergers.blogspot.com/ |
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