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Asma
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 12, 2008
Posts: 16
Location: Southern England
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 Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:08 am Post subject: How do I tell him he has AS? |
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I always thought my son was just immature for his age. It wasn't until I was wondering around the net that I found out about Aspergers and it ticked so many of my sons boxes. I have spoken to the doctor and he is contacting the educational pshycologis for evaluation.
My son is 11, he will be starting Secondary School in Sept and I know he is worried about it.
So my question is, how and when would be the best time to tell him about aspergers? What would be the best way?
I would appreciate any and all suggestions. Many thanks. |
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psmaster
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 16, 2008
Posts: 247
Location: Lexington, Ky, USA, Earth, The Solar System, The Milky Way Galaxy, The Universe, UNKNOWN
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| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:23 am Post subject: |
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When he is diagnosed, take him with you and have the one diagnosing him explain what it is. It is always best to not keep it some sort of secret, and to tell them openly.
Good luck 
_________________
"No, I don't know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered as patriots. This is one nation under God."
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 9:38 am Post subject: |
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dont tell him anything until you get him diagnosed, and let the psychologist tell him.
then the hard part starts.
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Eel_Nadroj
Raven
Joined: May 10, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 124
Location: Reseda, California
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| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 12:08 pm Post subject: |
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OK do not do what my parents did and told me I had something without professonal help or getting me diagnoised. I agree with getting him diagnoised first and if he does have then well tell him and give him some infomation about it. You might also want to help him out with it, you know incourage him not to act out and what not.
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Ever since I was small, I've felt different from the others... special in some way. But not like this...
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Asma
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 12, 2008
Posts: 16
Location: Southern England
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| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:27 pm Post subject: Thank you. |
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I just want to say thank you for your replies.
I hope you don't mind me asking any questions as they arrive, because I want to try and get it right and not end up traumatising him.
You help is much appreciated.
Thank You  |
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rifler39
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Mar 17, 2008
Age: 69
Posts: 198
Location: Moses Lake, WA
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| Posted: Tue Aug 12, 2008 1:28 pm Post subject: |
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It is something interesting to be studied and learned about. "Isn't this neat? Look at all the successful people who have had these symptoms. WOW, you can do that, because you have abilities others don't."
I've used this a couple of times and it has been successful in dispelling the fears and explaining being "different."
Pops
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Tools are dangerous only while being controlled by a human.
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Johnson68
Raven
Joined: Aug 07, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 111
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
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Well I'm 17 and I got misdiagnosed was 6, with ADHD.
I took the ADHD fine, it didn't bother me, probably because I was young.
I found out about 5 months ago that I have Asperger's as well, so I have AS and ADHD.
I think I would have taken it a lot better when I was younger.
So I guess telling him sooner rather than later would help, because he'd grow to it quicker.
I'm only going how I'd react and stuff like that, but I think it'd be similar for most people. |
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Asp1e
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 09, 2008
Age: 14
Posts: 42
Location: Mars
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| Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 1:47 pm Post subject: well... |
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my dad found out that he had as. So we spoke a lot about it and i took a test on the internet saying that i might had as to. Then my dad was going to a place here in Denmark called center for autism and i talked to a man (it was NOT planned) and after 5 min. talking to me he said. YOU HAVE AS !  .. then me and my dad went to the doctor and then i talked to him (he was an ass) and after a reeeaaallly long time where he was saying oooh you can't have as just because you don''t like places with many people cause my sisters boyfriends ex girlfriends best friends mom has it the same way. BS ! .. well.. what i'm trying to say is .. i think you should talk to him about it .. don't say YOU HAVE ! .. but something more like .. you might have .. but its not sure.. well .. gotta run ,. dog needs to get out |
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z0rp
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 05, 2008
Age: 15
Posts: 677
Location: New York, USA
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| Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 2:42 pm Post subject: Re: well... |
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| Asp1e wrote: | | my dad found out that he had as. So we spoke a lot about it and i took a test on the internet saying that i might had as to. Then my dad was going to a place here in Denmark called center for autism and i talked to a man (it was NOT planned) and after 5 min. talking to me he said. YOU HAVE AS ! .. then me and my dad went to the doctor and then i talked to him (he was an ass) and after a reeeaaallly long time where he was saying oooh you can't have as just because you don''t like places with many people cause my sisters boyfriends ex girlfriends best friends mom has it the same way. BS ! .. well.. what i'm trying to say is .. i think you should talk to him about it .. don't say YOU HAVE ! .. but something more like .. you might have .. but its not sure.. well .. gotta run ,. dog needs to get out |
Erm, well a lot of people have issues in place with a lot of people, it's just called social phobia I believe. I have it myself. |
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Asp1e
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 09, 2008
Age: 14
Posts: 42
Location: Mars
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| Posted: Tue Sep 09, 2008 3:24 pm Post subject: |
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aarrg .. plz don't tell you think the same way as that weirdo of a doctor thingy .. you see .. most people have yes .. but not all people begin to spin around themself for 5 min while they are flapping their hands and saying EEEEEP .. and then sits down and hide their head .. are they ?  |
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1Oryx2
Toucan
Joined: May 11, 2006
Posts: 265
Location: Canada
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| Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 10:43 pm Post subject: Re: How do I tell him he has AS? |
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| Asma wrote: | I always thought my son was just immature for his age. It wasn't until I was wondering around the net that I found out about Aspergers and it ticked so many of my sons boxes. I have spoken to the doctor and he is contacting the educational pshycologis for evaluation.
My son is 11, he will be starting Secondary School in Sept and I know he is worried about it.
So my question is, how and when would be the best time to tell him about aspergers? What would be the best way?
I would appreciate any and all suggestions. Many thanks. |
TELL HIM!!!
Kids picked on me for 8 years in public school -I was a freak and I didn't know why. I always felt like I couldn't do anything right, like I was seperated from everyone. But when I was diagnosed I met people with AS too and I wasn't alone. I realised it wasn't my fault that I did weird stuff or that I couldn't comunicate.
Not only that -I met other people I could share those problems with who truly understood because they had the same problem. I met real peers -fellow Aspies and Auties and I finnaly felt a connection because we were all seperated from everyone -together.
It kinda reminded me of the song by GOB 'give up the grudge' and it made me happy. Sometimes I wanted to scream it in the middle of class or when I get picked on because I feel empowered by it.
'Give up the grudge
Better shut your mouth
Why you gotta judge
Everybody but yourself
Take a look around you
There ain't nobody home
I MAY BE A LOOSER BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT ALONE' |
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sunshower
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 18, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 779
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:29 am Post subject: |
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Hmm. Well I was diagnosed at age 12, in my last year of primary school (similar to your son). My mum just told me she was taking me to get some 'tests', but wasn't very clear on the details. This wasn't too new for me as I'd already been to see heaps of psychologists over the years for my social problems. It was only after I'd been diagnosed that she told me I had it.
I think, yes, you should definitely tell him (there is no doubt about that), but when is always iffy. There are pro's and cons to both. If you tell him before he is tested, and then it turns out he doesn't have it, he is always going to wonder what is wrong with him and whether the doctor was wrong or not (once the possibility is in someone's head, it won't go away easily). However, telling him after if he is diagnosed can be hard because he might be curious about the testing. If he has AS maybe not though, cause I know I was completely in a fog in my own little world at that age and hardly anything registered with me.
HOWEVER, everyone here says you should "tell him everything" but I advise against that. When I was diagnosed, Aspergers was a very new thing, and very little was known about it. Apparently (and mum only told me this a year ago, once I was in my first relationship, and had matured) the doctor had told my mum that I would never be able to be in a relationship, and most likely would be alone for the rest of my life. My mother had cried and was absolutely devastated. Of course, we now know that is completely untrue. But the point I'm trying to make is that if my mum had told me that at age 12, I would have grown up thinking I was doomed to solitude and it's doubtful I would have ever taken those (belated) steps that lead to my first relationship. I'm jolly glad my mum withheld that information from me. I believe that you should tell him as much details as possible, but not things that could potentially have a lasting damaging effect on his confidence or his belief in his ability to be whoever he wants to be before he is old enough to realize for himself that he can do whatever he wants with his life.
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Asp1e
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 09, 2008
Age: 14
Posts: 42
Location: Mars
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:08 am Post subject: Re: How do I tell him he has AS? |
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| 1Oryx2 wrote: | | Asma wrote: | I always thought my son was just immature for his age. It wasn't until I was wondering around the net that I found out about Aspergers and it ticked so many of my sons boxes. I have spoken to the doctor and he is contacting the educational pshycologis for evaluation.
My son is 11, he will be starting Secondary School in Sept and I know he is worried about it.
So my question is, how and when would be the best time to tell him about aspergers? What would be the best way?
I would appreciate any and all suggestions. Many thanks. |
TELL HIM!!!
Kids picked on me for 8 years in public school -I was a freak and I didn't know why. I always felt like I couldn't do anything right, like I was seperated from everyone. But when I was diagnosed I met people with AS too and I wasn't alone. I realised it wasn't my fault that I did weird stuff or that I couldn't comunicate.
Not only that -I met other people I could share those problems with who truly understood because they had the same problem. I met real peers -fellow Aspies and Auties and I finnaly felt a connection because we were all seperated from everyone -together.
It kinda reminded me of the song by GOB 'give up the grudge' and it made me happy. Sometimes I wanted to scream it in the middle of class or when I get picked on because I feel empowered by it.
'Give up the grudge
Better shut your mouth
Why you gotta judge
Everybody but yourself
Take a look around you
There ain't nobody home
I MAY BE A LOOSER BUT AT LEAST I'M NOT ALONE' |
Agreed.. TELL HIM. Creepy. i felt the same way. But now i'm at a school for people with autism
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I always need a time just to be
In my own silly century
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