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Yupa
Avatar of Evil
Joined: May 15, 2005
Age: 18
Posts: 1315
Location: Florida
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 Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 3:19 pm Post subject: Do people assume you're gay? |
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Maybe it's because I have a high-pitched voice for a guy (people often mistake me for a girl over the phone), and I get told that "your voice sounds gay", or maybe because I act in a way that others interpret as being a little effeminate for a guy and am a little more flamboyant than most guys, but for some reason a lot of people I know seem to just assume that I'm homosexual and in high school people thought I had a crush on my gay best friend.
In fact, when I told people last year that there was a girl I had a crush on, they were very surprised to learn that I actually liked girls at all.
Do any other guys here have people just assume right off that you're gay?
I usually just laugh it off to other peoples' stupidity and preconceived notions, but I was wondering, how do you handle it? |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 4:23 pm Post subject: |
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I've had guys hit on me before because I turned down a girl that made an overt pass at me. While I turned her down because she was practically devoid of any substantive personality, in high school, most guys can't see past the surface, and therefore thought I was gay...
Finally, as everyone else around me caught up in maturity, they finally understood why and stopped bugging me about it |
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ablomov
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jul 20, 2008
Posts: 199
Location: northern hemisphere
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 5:31 pm Post subject: |
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| God, did I want a girl. Never got one. Two drunken fumbles, nothing. That was thirty years ago. I've watched enough porn I know how to f**k. |
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MrSinister
Sanity Is Madness
Joined: Oct 20, 2006
Posts: 2599
Location: England
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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| ablomov wrote: | | God, did I want a girl. Never got one. Two drunken fumbles, nothing. That was thirty years ago. I've watched enough porn I know how to f**k. |
Two drunken fumbles? That's one more than I've ever got...
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Why so serious? |
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Prof_Pretorius
troubled Soul
Joined: Aug 21, 2006
Age: 50
Posts: 4915
Location: Hiding in the attic of the Arkham Library
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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Apparently I've given reason for people to 'suspect' I'm gay. I had one bloke make a pass at me, and a mate in school (who was into the bi-sexual thing back in the seventies) wanted to (erm, you know ...)
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I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow. I feel my fate in what I cannot fear. I learn by going where I have to go. ~Theodore Roethke |
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ablomov
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jul 20, 2008
Posts: 199
Location: northern hemisphere
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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| You only got ONE drunken fumble - hell - thats bad. I am so sorry, your fumble allowance shd appear at any time now! Actually best get drunk first as trying anything like that sober pre midnightcanresult in a night behind bars! Frigid bitches....... |
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Brunny
Raven
Joined: Jul 12, 2008
Age: 43
Posts: 108
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 6:37 pm Post subject: |
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| I've often been assumed to be gay though never quite worked out why. I don't think I behave in a particularly camp manner or anything. Perhaps it is because a girl showed interest in me but I failed to notice it because of my poor reading of non-verbal language, (or even verbal language what with all the hints and twists and double-meanings that NTs use). |
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Eh-Lih-Menh-Tah-Rih
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 11, 2008
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject: Yes |
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Lots of people assume I'm gay. I think that there are a few reasons for this.
1. When I was younger, being straight, I never looked at men because I was only interested in girls hence I picked up a lot of female affectations. I also avoided looking at men because it was too dangerous. So I never really learnt how to act like a man.
2. Watching girls dance it just looked more fun than dancing like a boy so I got into dancing like a girl a lot for most of my adult life. Some of this leaked into my day to day body language.
3. I like to wear girls tops because you can find lots of fun and original designs for a few quid in charity shops and they are more fitted so they show off my yoga body better!
Interestingly, it's usually straight men and women who make this mistake (thinking I'm gay). Gay men don't seem to pick me up on the gaydar unless, for some strange reason, they're indo-asian or on ecstasy! |
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techstepgenr8tion
cleveland audio assassin
Joined: Feb 07, 2005
Age: 29
Posts: 5670
Location: That's for me to know and for you to find out.
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Back in junior high and highschool yeah, being on haldol and then risperidal not only made my body a physical torture chamber but it had the added benefit of making it physically impossible to hold myself up with any authority, it rounded and softened mannerisms, and yes - it even had me speaking with a lisp. |
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CelticRose
Albatross!
Joined: Jul 20, 2008
Posts: 1087
Location: Mesa, AZ, USA, Third Rock from the Sun
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:20 pm Post subject: |
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Since I started wearing my hair in a crewcut, I've had women hit on me (I'm a straight female). It's amazing how people make assumptions about you based on your appearance. 
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Be who you are & say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter & those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss
I yam what I yam. - Popeye
Be yourself no matter what they say. - Sting |
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Rainbow-Squirrel
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 27, 2006
Age: 28
Posts: 1183
Location: Siena, Italy
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 7:46 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, it has happened a couple of times, I guess it's because of the way I look, face traits, way of moving, of speaking, sometimes dressing, a general sense of gentleness. In one occasion I had to fight back a quite explicite flirting (via mobile phone messages)...   |
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crackedpleasures
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 14, 2007
Posts: 1777
Location: In between the bright lights and the far unlit unknown, CZ
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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Happens all the time.
1) I have a high pitched voice, on the phone most people think I am female
2) I wear make-up (eyeliner on daily basis, mascara on occasions as well, but eyeliner is a daily routine)
3) I have a bit female gestures in terms of hand movements and way of walking, not sure why
4) I dislike the macho type of behaviour or typically male behaviour
5) I rarely approach girls, but this has to do with my shyness and erotophobia rather than with not interested in doing it (in fact, the failing to approach the girls that attract me frustrates me)
So yeah, people often think I am gay. Not a problem for me since I have no issues with gays and thus see it as no negative word. Gay people are as normal as straight people, I don't consider it insulting. As long as people accept my reply when I explain that I really prefer women. Only when people keep on ignoring that, just sticking to their stereotypes and ignoring when I explain the truth, that irritates. Oh, and it is no issue to me when people think I am gay, unless when a cute girl thinks it and would not approach me because of that ; the ladies should know I am available and waiting 
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You did it again, yes, you in the mirror
You put your faith in a cruel world...
All my dead friends come to haunt, harm and hinder
Never letting go, here to drag me down to hell
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Keith
Guarding my post here
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1012
Location: East Sussex, UK
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 10:42 pm Post subject: |
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I tried a new look with a beard and my step-brother's ex's neighbour had a thing for me - time to shave me thought... So clean shaven I remain. Only had one guy hit on me ... But he was drunk and with a phone call after a text - I was pretty damned sure he was gay.
I am sure I don't have any typical mannerisms associated with gay men... |
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Social_Fantom
Unmasked
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 11696
Location: Dobson, North Carolina
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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I have been a couple of times: Once because I was the only guy in school without a girl in his arms and another time because I'm not macho, which I've always thought the macho image was meant to compensate for something. The other times it was in a manner used by bullies meant to put me down.
People throw the term around like it's a bad thing and use it to describe someone that doesn't fit into this "macho" image.
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
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arkityp
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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Joined: Jul 19, 2008
Posts: 55
Location: Toronto
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| Posted: Wed Aug 13, 2008 11:56 pm Post subject: |
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| ablomov wrote: | | God, did I want a girl. Never got one. Two drunken fumbles, nothing. That was thirty years ago. I've watched enough porn I know how to f**k. |
as a woman, i'm begging you... don't f**k like you are in porn. it's ridiculous! 
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