| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
aaronrey
Toucan
Joined: Jul 31, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 250
|
 Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:55 pm Post subject: uh..everytime i ask girls out, they always ask |
 |
|
| "who else is coming". it seems like they think im planning a group meet-up or something instead of a date. maybe the way i ask is wrong? |
|
| Back to top |
|
Keith
Guarding my post here
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1012
Location: East Sussex, UK
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 12:59 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| How do you ask them? What do you say? |
|
| Back to top |
|
aaronrey
Toucan
Joined: Jul 31, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 250
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 1:00 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| i said "wanna have lunch this sunday (or saturday/monday/etc)?" |
|
| Back to top |
|
coyote
Supporting Member
Joined: Nov 11, 2004
Posts: 396
Location: not sure
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 1:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
girls knows it when you flirt them, always! Either they ease your move or they make it difficult (how do you recover from "who else is coming" when you ask for a date ?). If it seems like it's difficult to make her "get" that you are flirting, it's because she is answering you already 
_________________
______________________________________
alone in the crowd |
|
| Back to top |
|
Keith
Guarding my post here
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1012
Location: East Sussex, UK
|
| Posted: Thu Aug 14, 2008 1:29 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I would go along with the lines of "Would you like to have lunch with me on <insert date here>"
Should she ask with who else, just reply with a standard, "Just us" If she is not sure or queries it, you can respond with a "I'm interested in getting to know you better away from <something>"
Then again you can adapt it to what you need. Works for me, but I get as far as getting numbers and I just don't feel I want to carry on with it |
|
| Back to top |
|
Popsicle
Sea Gull
Joined: Jun 01, 2006
Posts: 209
|
| Posted: Fri Aug 15, 2008 2:37 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Try "Would you like to go out with me sometime?" and leave the next bit to them. If they are interested they will say so. Maybe they will start with coffee, tea or lunch because a lot of women prefer that when they are dating someone new. But 'go out' and 'with me' tell them it isn't a group date. So at least they can't say that.
Also, if they ask where or what, then it's perfectly okay for you to suggest places to go. So don't be thrown off if they don't come up with the place themselves. But maybe suggest two or three ideas, such as, "Well I know a great place for lunch...or, do you like amusement parks...how about a picnic in the park" or whatever your own ideas are. Hope that helps. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Ticker
Come to the Dark Side; we have cookies...
Joined: Aug 26, 2006
Posts: 2406
Location: Cage Free at the moment
|
| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 7:05 pm Post subject: Re: uh..everytime i ask girls out, they always ask |
|
|
| aaronrey wrote: | | "who else is coming". it seems like they think im planning a group meet-up or something instead of a date. maybe the way i ask is wrong? |
My guess is they are not sure that you are asking them on a date and they are checking to see if its a date you are asking them on or a group outing. If you've never shown a woman that you are interested then suddenly spring her with a question like that then they don't know that you are interested.
_________________
I'm sweet on the outside and rotten within... |
|
| Back to top |
|
Praetorius
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Feb 21, 2007
Posts: 190
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 1:24 am Post subject: |
|
|
| You have to be fairly direct if you're just coming up to some girl you know asking for a date. Don't ask her on a date if you don't think she is attracted to you. You might even want to refer to going out with her as a date. That makes it clear what is going on and that it's not some kind of friendly gathering that you're going to where you're going to build rapport with her and just become friends. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Fnord
Metasyntactic Variable
Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 3658
Location: Pantopia
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 1:31 am Post subject: |
|
|
"Who else is coming?" == "Please bring someone else."
Dude, while they might appreciate the free lunch, they're also hoping that someone else will be there for them to talk to.
So when they ask who else will be there, tell them "Ben Franklin ... wanna see his picture?" and then whip out a 100-dollar bill.
Good luck!
_________________
The leaders of the American automobile industry have been amazingly consistent in their management philosophy, in that they have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Gamester
Buracrate in the Making
Joined: Nov 23, 2006
Age: 21
Posts: 2884
Location: Newberg, OR
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 2:37 am Post subject: |
|
|
| Fnord wrote: | "Who else is coming?" == "Please bring someone else."
Dude, while they might appreciate the free lunch, they're also hoping that someone else will be there for them to talk to.
So when they ask who else will be there, tell them "Ben Franklin ... wanna see his picture?" and then whip out a 100-dollar bill.
Good luck! |
LOL.
good one.
No.
But seriously folks.
If you want a one on one date with the girl, that's not going to happen til you two actually start dating.
group dates are not all that bad, because A) it's a good way to meet her, and her friends B) she can have a better idea of you from not just herself, but from her friend(s) and C) at the end of the date it won't be awkward "this was fun..." it'll be more along the lines of "this was fun...lets do this again sometime, maybe you and I go see a movie together?"
Yes. It works. I would know.
_________________
I don't believe in mercy without it being reciprocated.
I don't judge unless it's necessary.
I believe in the golden rule, except in the case of those who have no standing in my opinion.
I'm all for a world where those with disabilities are viewed as |
|
| Back to top |
|
EnglishLulu
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Apr 09, 2006
Posts: 187
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 11:28 am Post subject: |
|
|
| aaronrey wrote: | | i said "wanna have lunch this sunday (or saturday/monday/etc)?" |
I'll translate this for you:
Girlspeak: lunch=platonic, dinner=date (this is in general terms, not an absolute rule).
So, if you're asking them to go to lunch, they're assuming it's more likely to be a platonic get together than a date.
If you're asking them to go to dinner, they'll assume it's more likely to be a date than a platonic get together.
Alternatively, depending on how long you've know them and how well they know you, it's also possible that they realise you're asking them on a date, and they like your company and want to be friends, but their response 'who else is coming' is a way of making it clear to you that they want it to be a platonic thing. They're putting you firmly in the 'friendship zone' and letting you know that while they might like you in a platonic way, they're not interested in you romantically. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Fnord
Metasyntactic Variable
Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 3658
Location: Pantopia
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 3:44 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| EnglishLulu wrote: | | aaronrey wrote: | | i said "wanna have lunch this sunday (or saturday/monday/etc)?" |
I'll translate this for you:
Girlspeak: lunch=platonic, dinner=date (this is in general terms, not an absolute rule).
So, if you're asking them to go to lunch, they're assuming it's more likely to be a platonic get together than a date.
If you're asking them to go to dinner, they'll assume it's more likely to be a date than a platonic get together.
Alternatively, depending on how long you've know them and how well they know you, it's also possible that they realise you're asking them on a date, and they like your company and want to be friends, but their response 'who else is coming' is a way of making it clear to you that they want it to be a platonic thing. They're putting you firmly in the 'friendship zone' and letting you know that while they might like you in a platonic way, they're not interested in you romantically. |
The "Let's Just Be Friends" zone?
B-r-r-r-r! No wonder he's discouraged!
"Let's Just Be Friends" == "Let's just treat each other in a superficially friendly manner and not take it any further."
_________________
The leaders of the American automobile industry have been amazingly consistent in their management philosophy, in that they have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. |
|
| Back to top |
|
loudmouth
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 14, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 171
Location: Garden City, MI
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 10:05 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Fnord wrote: | | EnglishLulu wrote: | | aaronrey wrote: | | i said "wanna have lunch this sunday (or saturday/monday/etc)?" |
I'll translate this for you:
Girlspeak: lunch=platonic, dinner=date (this is in general terms, not an absolute rule).
So, if you're asking them to go to lunch, they're assuming it's more likely to be a platonic get together than a date.
If you're asking them to go to dinner, they'll assume it's more likely to be a date than a platonic get together.
Alternatively, depending on how long you've know them and how well they know you, it's also possible that they realise you're asking them on a date, and they like your company and want to be friends, but their response 'who else is coming' is a way of making it clear to you that they want it to be a platonic thing. They're putting you firmly in the 'friendship zone' and letting you know that while they might like you in a platonic way, they're not interested in you romantically. |
The "Let's Just Be Friends" zone?
B-r-r-r-r! No wonder he's discouraged!
"Let's Just Be Friends" == "Let's just treat each other in a superficially friendly manner and not take it any further." |
Thank you i feel that's the same way I feel. I have friends when ever I hear that I think I'm not lookign for a friend sure I won't be an A-hole to you if we meet by chance again but I don't wan't another friend. |
|
| Back to top |
|
bangsmccoy
Butterfly
![]()
Joined: Aug 17, 2008
Posts: 12
|
| Posted: Sun Aug 17, 2008 11:42 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| She just wants to know if it's a date you're after. |
|
| Back to top |
|
ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
|
| Posted: Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:13 am Post subject: |
|
|
Everytime I ask girls out, I get one of the following responses:
"I'll get back to you on that"
"We'll figure something out"
"Let me think about that for a while"
It's a wonder my shoulders haven't frozen off my body entirely... |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
