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tweety_fan
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 03, 2007
Posts: 1506
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 Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 2:42 am Post subject: dumb warnings |
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have you seen stupid warnings on signs?
eg on a hairdryer Do not use while asleep. |
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iamnotaparakeet
Alpha Parrot
Joined: Aug 01, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 11779
Location: Domus Psittacorum
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 2:57 am Post subject: |
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On the lid of a coffee cup: Caution! Contents are hot!
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Don't look back, because infinity is waiting. |
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-JR
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 11, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 891
Location: Somewhere in Time
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 3:02 am Post subject: |
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Picked up an empty pack of cigarettes the other day. In the clear sleave was a miniature pamphlet-"How to Quit Smoking." Laughed my ass off. How absurd. Also, the gambling hotline number that has to be posted on every lottery ticket sold here. 
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Still grateful.
"...do you really think you're in control...?"
Diagnosis: uncertain. |
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i_Am_andaJoy
the dischord in the thrum...
Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1172
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 3:08 am Post subject: |
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oh i love these. i can remember being around 5 or 6 and collecting packets of silica gel (from shoeboxes). i thought it was so funny they said do not eat.
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Even in his lowest swoop, the mountain eagle is still higher than the other birds upon the plain, even though they soar. --Herman Melville
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Triangular_Trees
What is right is sometimes found on the left.
Joined: Jul 18, 2007
Posts: 2053
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 3:36 am Post subject: |
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| The sad part is that the reasons those warnings are on there is that somebody tried to do that once |
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Who_Am_I
Retarded walking encylopedia, apparently...
Joined: Aug 28, 2005
Age: 24
Posts: 3290
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 4:08 am Post subject: |
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The best one that I ever heard of was on a chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."
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I don't dislike humans, I just don't want them to inhabit the same planet as me. |
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iamnotaparakeet
Alpha Parrot
Joined: Aug 01, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 11779
Location: Domus Psittacorum
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 4:18 am Post subject: |
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Don't look back, because infinity is waiting. |
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Triangular_Trees
What is right is sometimes found on the left.
Joined: Jul 18, 2007
Posts: 2053
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 4:25 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
A label on a baby stroller warns: “Remove child before folding
A brass fishing lure with a three-pronged hook on the end warns: “Harmful if swallowed
A popular scooter for children warns: "This product moves when used."
A nine- by three-inch bag of air used as packing material cautions: "Do not use this product as a toy, pillow, or flotation device."
A flushable toilet brush warns: "Do not use for personal hygiene."
The label on an electric hand blender promoted for use in "blending, whipping, chopping and dicing," warns: "Never remove food or other items from the blades while the product is operating."
A digital thermometer that can be used to take a person's temperature several different ways warns: "Once used rectally, the thermometer should not be used orally."
A household iron warns users: “Never iron clothes while they are being worn”
A label on a hair dryer reads, “Never use hair dryer while sleeping”
A warning on an electric drill made for carpenters cautions: “This product not intended for use as a dental drill.”
The label on a bottle of drain cleaner warns: “If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product.”
A smoke detector warns: “Do not use the Silence Feature in emergency situations. It will not extinguish a fire.”
A massage chair warns: “DO NOT use massage chair without clothing... and, Never force any body part into the backrest area while the rollers are moving.”
A cardboard car sunshield that keeps sun off the dashboard warns, “Do not drive with sunshield in place”
An “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter cautions, “Do not use near fire, flame or sparks”
A label on a hand-held massager advises consumers not to use “while sleeping or unconscious”
A 12-inch rack for storing compact disks warns: “Do not use as a ladder.”
A cartridge for a laser printer warns, “Do not eat toner”
A 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow warns: “Not intended for highway use”
A can of self-defense pepper spray warns users: “May irritate eyes”
A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists says: “Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.”
A snowblower warns: “Do not use snowthrower on roof.”
A dishwasher carries this warning: “Do not allow children to play in the dishwasher.”
A popular manufactured fireplace log warns: “Caution - Risk of Fire”
A box of birthday cake candles says: “DO NOT use soft wax as ear plugs or for any other function that involves insertion into a body cavity.” |
http://www.mlaw.org/_pages/pastwinners.htm |
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Triangular_Trees
What is right is sometimes found on the left.
Joined: Jul 18, 2007
Posts: 2053
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 4:32 am Post subject: |
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Also for a good laugh read the loony lawsuits page from the same site I just posted. Here are some examples from that page
| Quote: | | Two Alpena, Michigan men set an arson fire in their store with the hope of collecting insurance money. They admitted that they intended to simply have a small, smokey fire that would damage their inventory, which apparently wasn't selling very well, so they could collect on their insurance policy. However, when the fire spilled over into the adjoining store, the men sued the insurance company. They argued that they set the fire in their own store, but that the fire next door was accidental and therefore they should receive coverage for the damage to the other building. A panel of the state Court of Appeals amazingly reversed the trial court's decision to dismiss this ridiculous case, but the Michigan Supreme Court, in a unanimous decision, eventually reversed the Court of Appeals and ruled that the fire "cannot be characterized as an accident." |
| Quote: | | A woman from Grand Haven, Michigan filed a lawsuit for more than $25,000 after she was injured by a firecracker she took from a condominium that she had cleaned. While dining later with friends at a restaurant, the woman lit the firecracker claiming that she mistakenly thought it was a decorative candle. The explosion resulted in severe injuries to the woman. She sued the owners of the condo for leaving the firecracker behind without a warning on it. The condo owners said that they had placed the device, which looks like a "huge firecracker," in a cupboard to keep it away from the children after someone left it at their house after a party. |
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Reodor_Felgen
Counting down till Castro bites the dust
Joined: Sep 29, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 1633
Location: Aspies for Freedom
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:17 am Post subject: |
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I once saw a screwdriver with a label saying: "Do not insert into penis."
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WP doesn't have a working first amendment. |
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claire333
Huh?
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Posts: 1893
Location: Lost in my own little world.
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:24 am Post subject: |
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| i_Am_andaJoy wrote: | | oh i love these. i can remember being around 5 or 6 and collecting packets of silica gel (from shoeboxes). i thought it was so funny they said do not eat. |
When my kids were very young, I caught them sharing a packet of silica gel like it was chicklets. I freaked out and called poison control because of the 'do not eat'. Turns out...it's ok to eat.
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On with the show...This is it. |
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iamnotaparakeet
Alpha Parrot
Joined: Aug 01, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 11779
Location: Domus Psittacorum
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:37 am Post subject: |
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| Reodor_Felgen wrote: | | I once saw a screwdriver with a label saying: "Do not insert into penis." |
What kind of idiot would do that?!
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Don't look back, because infinity is waiting. |
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Reodor_Felgen
Counting down till Castro bites the dust
Joined: Sep 29, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 1633
Location: Aspies for Freedom
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:39 am Post subject: |
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| iamnotaparakeet wrote: | | Reodor_Felgen wrote: | | I once saw a screwdriver with a label saying: "Do not insert into penis." |
What kind of idiot would do that?! |
I guess they have these dumb labels to avoid lawsuits. 
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WP doesn't have a working first amendment. |
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Ishmael
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 08, 2008
Posts: 1170
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 8:39 am Post subject: |
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I took the battery out of a smoke alarm, to change it. WARNING: THE BATTERY HAS BEEN REMOVED
Yeah, I kinda just removed it... I can see where I have to plug a new one in...
Who's dumb enough to need a warning like that?
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Oh, well, fancy that! Isn't that neat, eh? |
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Triangular_Trees
What is right is sometimes found on the left.
Joined: Jul 18, 2007
Posts: 2053
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| Posted: Sat Aug 16, 2008 9:02 am Post subject: |
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"Do not eat Ipod shuffle"
"Never use a lit match or open flame to check fuel level" (found on a jetski user manual)
"Do not hold the wrong end of a chainsaw"
"Machine can fall over and cause serious injury or death" (on a vending machine)
And a not so dumb warning 
"If you cannot read warnings, do not use this product" |
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