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tomboy4good
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 15, 2008
Posts: 628
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 Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 11:42 am Post subject: |
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My mom had anorexia (still has even at 8 . She never cared for my outwardly appearance. Called me all kinds of "fat" names when I was a kid, & started pushing laxatives on me as a teen to get my weight down. I wanted so much to please her that I went along with her demands. Happiest day of her life is when I was able to fit into size 5 pants. However, I am not built anything like her (very petite with an hourglass figure), & maintaining a size 5 was totally unrealistic. I belonged to Weight Watchers for some time & actually learned good eating habits, & stopped purging.
My ideal size is probably more along an 8 or a 10, but I still have a ways to go before I reach that goal. I am working on getting my weight down (it's gone steadily up for several years now), but it takes time. Mom still tells me I'm fat...like I couldn't possibly be aware of it myself.  I have taken to calling myself all kinds of horrible things when I am around her. Beached whale, going for the next satellite to orbit earth, etc.
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You can't change your genes, but you can learn to wear them better!
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Belfast
Vast Ambivalence
Joined: Jul 18, 2005
Age: 35
Posts: 1716
Location: New England
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 1:05 pm Post subject: |
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When I was child in day care (being "babysat" as part of group of kids between ages 2-10), I was verbally picked on by one of the employees. Not sure exactly when (my age then) but I recall the person & the lines crystal clear, on more than one occasion, calling me "thunder thighs" & "bubble butt".
In photos, I don't look particularly heavy, either. If I didn't have a complex (bodily shame issue) by then, I sure did afterwards. Ridiculous (that person got away with treating kids this way) !
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*"You cannot administer a wicked law impartially-it destroys everyone it touches, its violators as well as its upholders."* |
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lionesss
The Queen of not your typical kind of jungle
Joined: Aug 22, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 1013
Location: not anywhere near you
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| Posted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 4:26 pm Post subject: |
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This sounds extremely corny and hard (and it is hard) but in order for you to successfully lose excess weight down to a reasonable level (not under your ideal) is for you to accept who you are and believe that whatever negative thing that someone says to you is a result of their OWN insecurity.. and its not about you. It is VERY hard to do because I have been picked on and shunned too but I am working on it. But I am binging MUCH less these days because I know that binging will not bring me happiness and joy. Only temporarily you get a "high" and then afterwards you feel as guilty as anything and the self loathing is pushed even further.. I have had enough of the vicious cycle. But once you do accept yourself, you will be able to work on your own body and improve your health for YOU.. and not for anyone else. Like I said I am not anywhere near there yet but I am working on it.. and it feels a hell of a lot better than binging yourself into a hole.
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I was told that I have PDD-NOS and ADHD- in other words, mild AS with a history of speech delay. I personally think its best to say that I am just plain under the spectrum! |
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Dilemma
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 21, 2008
Posts: 38
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| Posted: Mon Sep 08, 2008 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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| I've dealt with EDNOS leaning towards Anorexia twice in my life, i'm good now but my relationship with food is not all that healthy. |
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nothingunusual
Blue Jay
Joined: May 23, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 83
Location: Belfast, Ireland.
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| Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa type I four years ago and 'recovered' as far as weight goes thrice. I'm going on another year with Anorexia Nervosa subtype II.
I think alot of my mental health problems, including eating disorders, obsessive complusive behaviour, anxiety and perfectionism are linked with AS. I think they're all very much intertwined for me.
There's some interesting reasearch that suggests a dispostion for individuals on the spectrum to develop eating disorders
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1560787/Anorexia-may-be-inherited-and-linked-to-autism.html |
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i_Am_andaJoy
the dischord in the thrum...
Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1172
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
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| Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 3:22 pm Post subject: |
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when i was a teen i started with compulsive/binge eating.
but after awhile, i gained weight that got harder and harder to lose, so i worked on trying to make myself throw up, switching over to being more of a bulimic in my early 20s.
i'd say that in the last few years i have not had a disorder, though i still get easily upset by food.
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www.asaspiepie.blogspot.com
Even in his lowest swoop, the mountain eagle is still higher than the other birds upon the plain, even though they soar. --Herman Melville
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lionesss
The Queen of not your typical kind of jungle
Joined: Aug 22, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 1013
Location: not anywhere near you
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| Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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| i_Am_andaJoy wrote: | when i was a teen i started with compulsive/binge eating.
but after awhile, i gained weight that got harder and harder to lose, so i worked on trying to make myself throw up, switching over to being more of a bulimic in my early 20s.
i'd say that in the last few years i have not had a disorder, though i still get easily upset by food. |
I think we will always be affected by food somehow. No matter how well we keep the disorder under control and some people have conquered their eating disorders but I think it is something that yo have to work on all the time, keeping yourself in line and slip ups may happen. I could never be bulimic because I am emetophobic.. and I have thought so many times in my past if I wasn't emetophobic I wonder if I would have made myself purge because I have been a compulsive over eater since I was 11. But after doing so much soul searching over the past year I know what those triggers were. The hardest thing for me is now breaking the habit! I am actually looking into life coaching because I do need some help with this, its not cheap but it may well be worth it (and a lot of them are flexible with prices)
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I was told that I have PDD-NOS and ADHD- in other words, mild AS with a history of speech delay. I personally think its best to say that I am just plain under the spectrum! |
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hale_bopp
Ruffle some Feathers
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 23
Posts: 6318
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 6:05 am Post subject: |
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| I've got mild bulimia. Pretty pointless, as I'm still not thin. Usually after i've binged on junk food. |
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flutter
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 16, 2008
Age: 32
Posts: 442
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 8:07 am Post subject: |
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| lionesss wrote: | | i_Am_andaJoy wrote: | when i was a teen i started with compulsive/binge eating.
but after awhile, i gained weight that got harder and harder to lose, so i worked on trying to make myself throw up, switching over to being more of a bulimic in my early 20s.
i'd say that in the last few years i have not had a disorder, though i still get easily upset by food. |
I think we will always be affected by food somehow. No matter how well we keep the disorder under control and some people have conquered their eating disorders but I think it is something that yo have to work on all the time, keeping yourself in line and slip ups may happen. I could never be bulimic because I am emetophobic.. and I have thought so many times in my past if I wasn't emetophobic I wonder if I would have made myself purge because I have been a compulsive over eater since I was 11. But after doing so much soul searching over the past year I know what those triggers were. The hardest thing for me is now breaking the habit! I am actually looking into life coaching because I do need some help with this, its not cheap but it may well be worth it (and a lot of them are flexible with prices) |
Well, it's like being an alcoholic in some ways. The potential is still lurking under the skin no matter how long we've gone without exhibiting the behavior. Replacing the behavior with healthier alternatives can make it almost non-existent, but it will always lurk just under the surface. No matter how well we've learned the new behaviors and incoroorated them into ourselfs, under stress those old habits can surface. |
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lionesss
The Queen of not your typical kind of jungle
Joined: Aug 22, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 1013
Location: not anywhere near you
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 10:29 am Post subject: |
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| flutter wrote: | | lionesss wrote: | | i_Am_andaJoy wrote: | when i was a teen i started with compulsive/binge eating.
but after awhile, i gained weight that got harder and harder to lose, so i worked on trying to make myself throw up, switching over to being more of a bulimic in my early 20s.
i'd say that in the last few years i have not had a disorder, though i still get easily upset by food. |
I think we will always be affected by food somehow. No matter how well we keep the disorder under control and some people have conquered their eating disorders but I think it is something that yo have to work on all the time, keeping yourself in line and slip ups may happen. I could never be bulimic because I am emetophobic.. and I have thought so many times in my past if I wasn't emetophobic I wonder if I would have made myself purge because I have been a compulsive over eater since I was 11. But after doing so much soul searching over the past year I know what those triggers were. The hardest thing for me is now breaking the habit! I am actually looking into life coaching because I do need some help with this, its not cheap but it may well be worth it (and a lot of them are flexible with prices) |
Well, it's like being an alcoholic in some ways. The potential is still lurking under the skin no matter how long we've gone without exhibiting the behavior. Replacing the behavior with healthier alternatives can make it almost non-existent, but it will always lurk just under the surface. No matter how well we've learned the new behaviors and incoroorated them into ourselfs, under stress those old habits can surface. |
You couldn't have said it better..it is most definitely an addiction. A few years ago I joined Jenny Craig (which is NOT the answer unless you want a quick weight loss which may not last) and I lost A LOT of weight and actually looked great. But once it was confirmed that my son had autism (and he was worse off than he is now, AND I knew nothing about it at the time, let alone myself being under the spectrum) I thought of doom and gloom and my old eating habits resurfaced and before I knew it I was back to where I was before JC  I am not much slimmer than that now, but thats okay because I am still digging in deep WHY I have done this and why I do this, and its also a matter of breaking the habit.. but yes, no matter how well you conquer old habits do linger on, especially if ultra stressful situations come up. But after learning about yourself and learning about ways to deal with it, what could have been a year long "slip up" may be only a "slip up" that last for a few days or even a few hours.. because you will then realize that its not the way to deal with stress. It's a vicious cycle!!
_________________
I was told that I have PDD-NOS and ADHD- in other words, mild AS with a history of speech delay. I personally think its best to say that I am just plain under the spectrum! |
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i_Am_andaJoy
the dischord in the thrum...
Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1172
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:04 am Post subject: |
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yeah, soul searching and figuring out the WHY does help. when i was throwing up every day i was also cutting a lot, going to the hospital often for stitches. but even with things under "control," it would still be easy to fall back into old patterns when under stress.
now i allow myself a lot more stimmy behaviors, which i didn't a few years ago, because i thought i needed to stop doing weird thngs. but now i just let myself pet my arms or hum or whatever, intead of yelling at myself and telling myself it is an affectation and i'm being stupid.
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www.asaspiepie.blogspot.com
Even in his lowest swoop, the mountain eagle is still higher than the other birds upon the plain, even though they soar. --Herman Melville
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Alycat
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Oct 12, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 66
Location: Birmingham
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 5:16 am Post subject: |
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| hale_bopp wrote: | | I've got mild bulimia. Pretty pointless, as I'm still not thin. Usually after i've binged on junk food. |
A lot of bulimics actually put on weight.
I was anorexic, and then bulimic. I don't have an eating disorder any more, although many people mistake my other food issues for the ED still being around. I am very picky with food, and I tend to like eating the same food over and over for months. I don't like food touching, and I get very anxious when it's made by someone else. None of this is (in my opinion) an eating disorder though.
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If you don't believe in dragons it is curiously true, that the dragons you disparage choose to not believe in you. |
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dbzgirl
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 23, 2006
Posts: 334
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 5:06 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm recovering from a potato chip compulsion/maybe compulsive overeating. |
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Anemone
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 18, 2008
Age: 43
Posts: 790
Location: Vancouver, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 1:40 pm Post subject: |
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I went through a potato chip phase a few summers ago. The salt was so hard on my lips I had to switch to a low-salt variety.
They were good, though. Too bad I gained so much weight. |
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musicforanna
Toucan
Joined: Jul 01, 2006
Age: 24
Posts: 280
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
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| Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 6:13 pm Post subject: |
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| nothingunusual wrote: |
I think alot of my mental health problems, including eating disorders, obsessive complusive behaviour, anxiety and perfectionism are linked with AS. I think they're all very much intertwined for me. |
Heavens yes, that really rings really true for me. As for me, I've went the wayside the route of perfectionism in a way to lastly attempt to be "good enough" for others since my AS obviously failed them. That landed me in more than a decade of anorexia. I've been in recovery for 4 1/2 years. |
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