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chokolap
Emu Egg
Joined: Aug 25, 2008
Posts: 1
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 Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 7:59 pm Post subject: how to express feelings? |
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Hi all the community!
I'm twenty y.o. and I'm from Russia, so please excuse me for my weird English.
I wanna ask for an advice. I love the girl but cannot express my feelings in a human-readable manner. On the other hand, I can't say «Oh, Ann, I was born braindamaged, so can you love me without all this things your previous boyfriends did for you, like saying nice words, eye-to-eye looking, touching, etc». We live in different cities and communicated via internet and then she went to my city and we met in real life. We sat on the roof, it was fine and we were both happy (as I can say). Then I travelled to her city a couple of times, but she doesn't want to meet me any more.
But I cannot live without, so I'm leaving my university, my parents, friends and city and moving to her. That's it. |
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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3717
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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| Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| My experience is that women prefer a guy not too overplay his emotions. They prefer subtlety and what your actions imply more than what you say. Some implied human emotion, perhaps a touch of genuine vulnerability, (showing that you aren't invincible, but you still try to take it all in stride) works much better than self-pity and loud whining about how your life sucks so bad or some maudlin comical hypersensitivity (e.g., "I weep whenever I see the sun set"). Telling her you're brain-damaged or have Asperger's syndrome is unlikely to play well unless she already knows you and cares about you. You should not be too quick to tell her you love her, and you should avoid getting overly attached or sentimental early on. |
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Betterclassed
Snowy Owl
Joined: Aug 17, 2008
Posts: 168
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| Posted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:42 pm Post subject: Re: how to express feelings? |
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| chokolap wrote: | Hi all the community!
I'm twenty y.o. and I'm from Russia, so please excuse me for my weird English.
I wanna ask for an advice. I love the girl but cannot express my feelings in a human-readable manner. On the other hand, I can't say «Oh, Ann, I was born braindamaged, so can you love me without all this things your previous boyfriends did for you, like saying nice words, eye-to-eye looking, touching, etc». We live in different cities and communicated via internet and then she went to my city and we met in real life. We sat on the roof, it was fine and we were both happy (as I can say). Then I travelled to her city a couple of times, but she doesn't want to meet me any more.
But I cannot live without, so I'm leaving my university, my parents, friends and city and moving to her. That's it. |
Oh this seems to heading towards disaster. This seems a little silly to drop everything, "everything*" for a girl who doesn't seem to want to come to you anymore. Why are all AS people so afraid of touching or can't keep eye contact? I am aspie and have no problem with this stuff. It isn't that hard. Oh well I suppose it takes getting use too I suppose. Another reason why should look else where. Keep trying, gain experience and one day it will all work out right. Also I don't think anyone should be encouraging him to run off to be with a girl that sounds like she isn't interested anyway. It sounds exactly like those stories you hear of 16 year olds running off with their supposed soul mate only to find that he or she wasn't really the one and end up in some crappy dead end job that no one would really ever have as a dream job. Sorry to crush your romantic fanstasy but this isn't a good risk. The odds are not in your favour, you're playing a game with zero chance almost anyway. People want to be shown affection, to have eye contact, to be touched and hear how much they love everything about them. Don't waste your time, if you do this don't come back here moaning about how bad it all turned out and now you have nothing. Look somewhere else, practice your social skills. Don't do this. Neant, lol, surely your first comment would be something like I am saying. If you have additional information that shows that this may have a chance then that is a different story altogether. However if you don't then take this advice and don't do it. Hope that helps. |
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