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kittylover
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 24, 2008
Posts: 61
Location: Orange County, California
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 Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 11:07 am Post subject: I'm a monster |
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I'm transsexual, male to female, and have been on female hormones for a month and a half. I'm still living as male.
I keep thinking that I will never pass as female. I'm quite tall (190 cm / 6'3") and have a rather male face structure. My hair is long, but has thinned out due to the beginnings of male pattern baldness (hopefully hormones have ended that process). My hands and feet are very big.
I feel like a monster. |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 8059
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 12:04 pm Post subject: |
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I am a woman with 'male pattern' baldness (and a perfect 'van dyke' moustache and beard, just like my brother) So don't depend on estrogen to keep your hair in.
I lived in Minneapolis, MN for years and met many transgendering folks, from male to female and from female to male. I don't think you are a monster, I just think you are not done, yet.
shine on you crazy diamond! 
Merle
_________________
I freed thousands of slaves; I could have freed more if they knew they were slaves.
-Harriet Tubman |
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zen_mistress
In Pursuit of a Peaceful Life
Joined: Jun 12, 2007
Age: 31
Posts: 1102
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | I am a woman with 'male pattern' baldness (and a perfect 'van dyke' moustache and beard, just like my brother) So don't depend on estrogen to keep your hair in.
I lived in Minneapolis, MN for years and met many transgendering folks, from male to female and from female to male. I don't think you are a monster, I just think you are not done, yet.
shine on you crazy diamond!
Merle |
I know the feeling, I am also involved in a "war against body hair".
Kittylover, I dont think you are a monster at all, and I think you have come to the right place, there are other transgendered people on here.
_________________
Glory be to God for dappled things,
For skies of couple-colour as a brinded cow,
For rose-moles all in stipple upon trout that swim;
Fresh-firecoal chestnut-falls, finches’ wings.
~ Gerard Manley Hopkins
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Warsie
OG Balla Representin' Da Souf Sydeeee of Chi-City
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 1634
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:12 pm Post subject: |
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^^^^
As the person (SinsBoldly) above me said, you have not completely transitioned. And besides, there will be other ways that I'm sure you can find to end up as what you want to be 
So Monster is not a correct analogy, Cocoon is!
EDIT: was referring to SinsBoldly, not zen_mistress
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I am a Star Wars Fan, Warsie here.
9/11 was an inside job
http://www.911truth.org/
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flailure
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 13, 2007
Posts: 632
Location: my office
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:15 pm Post subject: |
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Give it time. Let the hormones do their thing. This will take a lot of adjustment, both physical and mental. Just try not to fall prey to regret. If you know you've made the right decision, be confident about it. You're on your way to showing on the outside what you've always known you were on the inside. You're not a monster.
_________________
"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"
- George Carlin |
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Averick
Calculateurre of Chaos
Joined: Mar 06, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 2127
Location: in the trenches..
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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My heart goes out to you.
It's hard, I know. I get called pretty
where ever I go, and it's annoying.
I don't even try to "be pretty." |
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CanyonWind
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 12, 2006
Posts: 1346
Location: West of the Great Divide
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| Posted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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I'm a plain old straight guy, and I don't see anything wrong at all with you switching genders.
It must be what's right for you, or you wouldn't be doing it.
Hey, you can't expect a change on that scale in the human body to happen overnight. Good art always takes time.
And a bit of male in a female can be really appealing, like those dots in the yin and yang, where the strongest manifestation of each one contains in it's essence elements of the other.
I don't know the details, but it might come out really fine.
_________________
Yet could we turn the years again,
And call those exiles as they were
In all their loneliness and pain,
You'd cry, 'Some woman's yellow hair
Has maddened every mother's son.' -Yeats |
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amaren
Sea Gull
Joined: Apr 24, 2008
Posts: 216
Location: wallowing in bed
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| Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 8:11 am Post subject: |
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I really feel for you - I hope things improve - I'm sure they will once the hormones have more of an effect. I'm a girl with hair thinning at the temples and thick stubby fingers, but no one doubts my gender. You're definitely not a monster, and keep in mind, you don't have to just like the average hollywood girl to be a beautiful woman. (I love tall girls  )
_________________
The rule for today.
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow. |
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Brandon_M
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 03, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 318
Location: Houston, Texas
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| Posted: Thu Jul 10, 2008 5:16 pm Post subject: |
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| While I can't say that I can relate, I feel for you. Appearance does not make you a monster though, acts of violence and hatred do, and you seem like a pretty kindred person to me. |
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kittylover
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 24, 2008
Posts: 61
Location: Orange County, California
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| Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 3:32 pm Post subject: |
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I don't feel like I need to look hot like a model in order to be happy, but if I don't look average I'll be quite depressed.
Also, I get worried that Asperger's obsessions are making me want to be female for some reason. I'm not really that feminine at all.
I'm also worried that people at work will hate me when they start noticing that I look different. I can feel the buds in my chest now, so this could happen soon >_<
*wishes someone were here to hug her in real life* |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 8059
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 3:41 pm Post subject: |
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most people have psychological therapy before and during and after they do transgendering that addresses these issues. At least if you get it done in the States.
Are you not getting psychological support that teaches how these issues can be dealt with?
Merle
_________________
I freed thousands of slaves; I could have freed more if they knew they were slaves.
-Harriet Tubman |
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kittylover
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: May 24, 2008
Posts: 61
Location: Orange County, California
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| Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah, I'm in therapy to help with these things. It feels like not enough most of the time. |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 8059
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:37 pm Post subject: |
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| kittylover wrote: | | Yeah, I'm in therapy to help with these things. It feels like not enough most of the time. |
do you know that there is a current thread on WP you might be interested in?
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp1569926.html#1569926
Merle
_________________
I freed thousands of slaves; I could have freed more if they knew they were slaves.
-Harriet Tubman |
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claire333
Huh?
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Posts: 1893
Location: Lost in my own little world.
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| Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 5:22 pm Post subject: |
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I think you are beautiful...hang in there. 
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On with the show...This is it. |
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JerryHatake
Die Hard Mason Fan
Joined: Jul 02, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 9388
Location: Woodbridge, VA
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| Posted: Sun Jul 13, 2008 5:41 pm Post subject: |
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I don't see you as what you described yourself as because beauty is in the eye of the beholder and that what counts towards to you.
_________________
Each person gets his or her own freedom and passion one by one
For us who were born in order to shine, our journey will continue
The trump card that supports the uncertain days is your Soul
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