 
Support Wrong Planet Awareness!
| View previous topic :: View next topic |
| Author |
Message |
javajunkie80
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 58
Location: QLD, Australia
|
 Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 5:48 am Post subject: ...they were all laughing at me |
 |
|
I am going to uni, studying education and next year I'll (apparantly) be a teacher.
One of my classes is preparing us for the workplace and one of the tasks was an oral presentation of a lesson and the tutor picked 1-2 students to have 'behavioural issues' that I, as the teacher, would need to deal with.
My class was to pretend that they were a Grade 5 class, because that's the age my lesson was for.
So I started my lesson and two people kept asking repeatedly off-topic questions.
A few girls were huddled together, completely disengaged, another guy kept yelling out. A few others were egging on the people who were asking off-topic questions. I couldn't tell who the students with behavioural issues were supposed to be.
I used all the microskills, just like the books told me to. BUT, they didn't work. These 'students' ignored the microskills (skills used to manage classroom behaviour and keep lessons on track) and kept on with their behaviour.
the thing is, grade 5 students would STOP their behaviour normally. But because these were adults, pretending to be kids, they just kept going and going and going. And they were laughing at me! They would put their hand up, and laugh and stuff.
They thought it was hilarious. And I was so busy, in the end, trying to stop my own complete meltdown that I could barely say anything.
Even the tutor had a smile on her face. So I guess she thought it was funny too.
A friend in that tutorial told me later that they forgot which people were supposed to be difficult, so they all did it. And it was funny. And why am I so upset about it?
They were all laughing at me, and I tried so hard and used all the skills in the stupid book, and they didn't respond like Grade 5 students would have. And I can't say anything to the tutor because she'll just say that I might get a class like that one day...
I just think it was so unfair to have the class use my presentation, and me, for their own amusement. I won't get a good grade now. And they already think I'm wierd and a few of them don't like me. Every time I think about it I just cry.
My family is furious and is telling me to complain, but I don't see the point when they'll just say I might get a class like that...even though I won't. Because 10 year olds don't act like that. It was vicious, malicious adult behaviour.
I don't want to go back to uni and my intense dislike of people is growing stronger, after all the years I spent trying to convince myself they were ok. I hate being laughed at. Everyone always laughs at me.
I'm going to be an awful teacher. What on earth was I thinking?
I hope someone understands this. I just needed to vent to other people like me.
I'm 27 years old, I should be able to handle this stuff.
_________________
Sarah
***
Life breaks most of us in the end, but some of us are strong in the broken places - Ernest Hemingway |
|
| Back to top |
|
tomamil
What the #$*!?
Joined: May 14, 2007
Posts: 1357
Location: currently Paris, France, but originally Asteroid B612
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 5:58 am Post subject: Re: ...they were all laughing at me |
|
|
| javajunkie80 wrote: | | I'm going to be an awful teacher. |
that's not true, just because of what happaned? as you said, 10 y/o kids won't behave that way. do kids love you? it's clear that you will be much better with them, than with adults. kids love me and i believe they love you too.
how was it with the others doing their presentations? they thought it was hilarious, because for them it was, not for you of course, but they don't care. they just suppose you don't take it personally. they probably wouldn't.
_________________
Timeo hominem unius libri, I fear the man of one book, St. Thomas Aquinas. |
|
| Back to top |
|
javajunkie80
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 58
Location: QLD, Australia
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 6:26 am Post subject: |
|
|
Their presentations were different.
They only had 1-2 people act up each time.
One person had two girls sit under a desk for most of the lesson, but my tutor told them to ease off and come out towards the end.
Nothing like that must have been said about mine.
Another person had a 'student' collapse. And another person had one student storm out of the room.
That was it.
I just worry that I won't cope. Not too many other autistic teachers around to talk to about this either. |
|
| Back to top |
|
tomamil
What the #$*!?
Joined: May 14, 2007
Posts: 1357
Location: currently Paris, France, but originally Asteroid B612
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 6:34 am Post subject: |
|
|
| javajunkie80 wrote: | Their presentations were different.
They only had 1-2 people act up each time.
One person had two girls sit under a desk for most of the lesson, but my tutor told them to ease off and come out towards the end.
Nothing like that must have been said about mine.
Another person had a 'student' collapse. And another person had one student storm out of the room.
That was it.
I just worry that I won't cope. Not too many other autistic teachers around to talk to about this either. |
so tell me, how do you think the others would manage if they were in the same situation during their presentations?
i work with some doctoral students, not the same of course, but i can see that i am better than the advisors i used to have, because i want to be better, i want to be different, i don't want to be making the mistakes they did with me. why do you think this bad experience during your presentation would mean you are a bad teacher? on the contrary, maybe next time, when you are the tutor, you won't allow something like this to happen to your pupils.
_________________
Timeo hominem unius libri, I fear the man of one book, St. Thomas Aquinas. |
|
| Back to top |
|
javajunkie80
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 58
Location: QLD, Australia
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 6:59 am Post subject: |
|
|
I assume they would have done the same thing as me. But probably not been as anxious about it or could have laughed off the experience. Whereas I don't seem to be able to do that. No matter how hard I try.
This happened on Friday BTW, so I've had a while to deal with it and 'get over' it.
If I had have been the tutor I would have given more specific instructions and would have made sure the students understood who was playing which role. And I would have made it clear, again, that they were to act like grade 5's...and not like adults who were having a joke. I really needed the experience in working with behavioural management techniques before my next placement, and I feel as though that opportunity was taken from me.
And believe me, I know I'm being irrational but I can't seem to stop it. |
|
| Back to top |
|
tomamil
What the #$*!?
Joined: May 14, 2007
Posts: 1357
Location: currently Paris, France, but originally Asteroid B612
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 7:05 am Post subject: |
|
|
| javajunkie80 wrote: | | If I had have been the tutor I would have given more specific instructions and would have made sure the students understood who was playing which role. And I would have made it clear, again, that they were to act like grade 5's...and not like adults who were having a joke. I really needed the experience in working with behavioural management techniques before my next placement, and I feel as though that opportunity was taken from me. |
great, everything has also good outcomes. probably those who were laughing at you will not mind to do that to their students. it's evident that you are going to be better. i would prefer to be your pupil than theirs.
_________________
Timeo hominem unius libri, I fear the man of one book, St. Thomas Aquinas. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Detren
Snowy Owl
Joined: Feb 08, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 167
Location: in the connection between the ansibles
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 11:14 am Post subject: |
|
|
It seems to me that your biggest issue is "this might effect my grade" not that the class were being idiots. Yes, it was disrespectful and annoying but that doesn't seem to be your biggest issue.
How long do you need to wait before you get your results? If they come back unsatisfactory I would make sure to ask why, to make sure other people's not following directions did not overly affect your grades. The fact that the teacher got "onto" them at the end might be a good indicator that even the teacher thought that the class was being unfair, and in the end it might even work to your benefit. If your grade is bad because of them, then I would protest and possibly ask for a more realistic re-test.
I would, however, wait until I got my grades back before broaching the subject. |
|
| Back to top |
|
AvatarOfLight
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Aug 23, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 29
Location: The Netherlands
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:28 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I agree with all of the stuff that's been said already concerning grades, don't worry about it.
What I can add is that I think I know how you felt there. In primary school we played a game in class. I don't recall the Dutch name so I can't translate it either. The basic idea is for someone to leave the room (he will be the cop) and the people inside will pick a few killers. When the cop reenters the room he must find out who are the killers. One faithful day I was picked as cop, long story short, I was unable to figure out who the killers were, but people kept dying.
In the end it was revealed that they had selected me as the killer and people were just dying randomly. Indeed they all laughed. The feeling of people having broken the rules and disallowing any other ending but failure can be really, really bad. Especially when, like with you, it goes on for some time without your knowledge and the teacher/supervisor just allows it. Maybe NTs have less problems with this situation and can shrug it off, but I'm a lot older now and I'm sure I'd still crash if this happened.
In any case, can only respect you for weathering it.
_________________
*11 + 8 = 19 vs DC 56. Sage resists reality* |
|
| Back to top |
|
javajunkie80
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 58
Location: QLD, Australia
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 5:36 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I am slightly annoyed that my grade won't be good. I've never gotten below a distinction on an oral presentation.
Avatar, you really hit on my point. I was doomed to failure because they ignored the rules and the teacher allowed it.
I do not understand why NTs find this type of behaviour funny. I know they obviously have a different perspective on this, but I am struggling to understand why they don't see it my way. I tend to have very good theory of mind most of the time, but not when I'm confused, overwhelmed etc.
My biggest fear is that when I am at uni now, I tend to go straight into shut down mode where these people cease to really exist for me. I am usually very conscious of my actions and what I say because I don't want to hurt or upset anyone; I spent so much time when I was younger upsetting and hurting people that now I focus on it a lot. Being shut down prevents me from considering other people really at all, or responding to them properly. |
|
| Back to top |
|
Mutanatia
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 02, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 370
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 9:53 pm Post subject: |
|
|
| Did you avoid the meltdown, however? Because if you did, I think you made great strides to have things like this--they may get to you--not set you off into a complete meltdown. That is something to be proud of. I noticed you said you were "fighting" the meltdown. I would have melted down, plain and simple. |
|
| Back to top |
|
javajunkie80
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Mar 10, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 58
Location: QLD, Australia
|
| Posted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 11:10 pm Post subject: |
|
|
I have always been relatively good at concealing or 'putting off' a meltdown.
Of course, I can't do this all the time, and a lot of energy is needed to conceal it until I reach a safe place (car, home).
i just hate the fact that I tend to become highly irrational and nonverbal through the build up and for a while afterwards. |
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum
|
|
|
