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DustinWX
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Posts: 73
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 Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 12:59 pm Post subject: NTs correcting you? |
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| I've recently had a few guys here, who tend to correct me a lot. On things, like "not to stare" or other things, and I do consider this guy my friend, but it gets old to be corrected, although I guess he's trying to help me? It just feels embarrassing and that I should already KNOW these things. Anyone else have this? |
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ghouna
Toucan
Joined: Jul 15, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 254
Location: London UK
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 1:06 pm Post subject: |
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Personnaly i asked my husband to tell me when i do "unacceptable" things (even though i find it annoying to be told off. And i do stare a lot aswell). He helps me getting organised by writing on a whiteboard what i have to do.
It depends what you told this guy. If you dont want him to help you, tell him so! |
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spudnik
Ain't I a Stinker
Joined: Feb 20, 2008
Posts: 3774
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 1:14 pm Post subject: |
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Its ok coming from a friend, I think your friend is just looking out for you. If its bothering you, ask your friend to not correct you if front of people, by giving you a cue of some type.
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Visit me @ Neural Deviant
http://neuraldeviant.freesmfhosting.com |
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tomamil
What the #$*!?
Joined: May 14, 2007
Posts: 1357
Location: currently Paris, France, but originally Asteroid B612
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 2:39 pm Post subject: |
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only my closest friend was doing that. it was actually worse because at the time i didnt know that there is a name for the irregularities in my behaviour, so i used to feel like a retarded. now we live in different countries. when i told him about AS he read about it and then told me that it explains a lot.
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Timeo hominem unius libri, I fear the man of one book, St. Thomas Aquinas. |
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aspiartist
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 15, 2008
Posts: 557
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:13 pm Post subject: |
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| Yes, there are opportunists' out there who like to stimulate their ego by making others feel small, insignificant and/or inadaquate. We are prone to this in general. You might consider whether this is really someone who is your friend. They're very manipuative and the long-term damage by associatiion can be significant. Be very selective and careful about who you pick or associate with as friends. |
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aintnowreck
Raven
Joined: Aug 26, 2008
Age: 36
Posts: 112
Location: Somewhere on the shortwave band
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:19 pm Post subject: |
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It depends of the context, where you are, the people around you...
If you're at home and only with that little circle of folks, who cares?
But in a social setting, I'd welcome it.
My wife does it everytime we're out, I don't really mind because it is her but I sure wouldn't take it from anyone else.
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There's nothing like pirate radio on shortwave. Long live free radio!
Music saved my life, musicians ruined it. |
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slowmutant
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 8640
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 3:24 pm Post subject: |
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Believe it or not, AS doesn't make you infallible. No one can be always right about everything, their neurobiology aside.
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Behold, I stand at the door and knock ... |
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JetLag
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 08, 2008
Age: 59
Posts: 621
Location: California
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 4:47 pm Post subject: |
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| When someone gives me unsolicited correction for one of my many faults, I usually just say thank you and then go back to my fault. But if I seek correction from a friend, and that friend gives me that correction continually, then I figure that I pretty much got what I asked for. |
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lionesss
The Queen of not your typical kind of jungle
Joined: Aug 22, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 1013
Location: not anywhere near you
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 5:26 pm Post subject: |
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Remember one thing, its not about anything that you are doing... its all about them and their insecurities  And sadly this is how they make themselves feel "superior". When I was in 6th grade, I clearly remember some girl in my class who mocked me (who didn't back then?) gave me an article from some teen magazine to read up on something to do with socialization LOL. There is a reason that kids at that age are worse than even younger kids or adults (well for the most part anyway).. they are insecure about their bodies changing, their minds changing, hormones and.. well they need to find something to pick on right?
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I was told that I have PDD-NOS and ADHD- in other words, mild AS with a history of speech delay. I personally think its best to say that I am just plain under the spectrum! |
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cas
Blue Jay
Joined: Mar 15, 2008
Posts: 86
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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My friend does that and sometimes it's okay and to help, but sometimes also she's angry about something or someone else and picks on something small (or not even wrong!) that I've done and corrects in a very patronizing way.
If you think it's helpful then don't say anything, or ask him to say it in private as people before me said. But if he's going over the top and embarrassing you it might be he's just picking on you out of proportion because of anger he can't release against the person who caused it, not really a big problem you have. |
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BokeKaeru
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 507
Location: Alternately Los Angeles, CA and Northampton, MA
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 9:33 pm Post subject: |
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My mom used to constantly tell me that I was "embarrasing her" and "acting embarrassingly" for things that didn't seem wrong or even noticeable (most of them still wouldn't, as far as I'm concerned!), to the point that I thought embarrassment was something inexplicable and without any rhyme or reason that only other people felt for several years. After a while, I learned that I DID feel embarrassed about some things - they just weren't things so inconsequential that you'd only notice if you were looking for things to be ashamed of, but rather when I actually DID cause a problem or make a mistake.
Because of my continuing social awkwardness and the fact that criticism shoves me back into my shell further rather than helping me, I really only hang out with other oddballs - not necessarily people who aren't NT, but rather people who show, or at least have a high level of tolerance for, eccentricity. As far as I'm concerned, unless my friend is doing something harmful to someone, it's being unsupportive and nitpicky to correct them, and I let them be themselves. I just expect the same consideration. |
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DustinWX
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Posts: 73
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| Posted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 10:34 pm Post subject: |
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| He doesn't do it in public, usually just when it's me and him or with our other friend, so it's not like he's trying to humilate me. |
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Keith
Guarding my post here
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1012
Location: East Sussex, UK
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 6:18 pm Post subject: |
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I usually find myself correcting my friends on messenger alot mainly because one of them is still learning English. She types too fast, and another I just treat it like a joke when she makes an obvious mistake "I didn't think there was a 'Akype' ?  " |
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Dasha
Blue Jay
Joined: Jan 09, 2008
Posts: 89
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 6:21 pm Post subject: |
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| It is very "upsetting" for an NT to be stared at, even if you are just staring in their direction, rather than staring at them. |
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slowmutant
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 14, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 8640
Location: Ontario, Canada
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| Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 6:25 pm Post subject: |
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| NT's correcting you? It's called life. Get over it. |
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