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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3717
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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 Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 3:38 pm Post subject: Why Do Women Care If Their Friend Is Being Hit On? |
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| While swimming today, I saw a girl I had talked to a few weeks before, so I decided, despite things getting a little weird last time, I'd talk to her again. Things got a little risqué, and one of her friends in particular was getting pissed off at both her and me. I don't really see why because it's not her life. In the end, her friend ruined it. Does anyone know why she might have done that? |
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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 11891
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 3:50 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know maybe she's jealous?
I never cared about my friend getting hit on but I knew a guy that did. I think he either didn't trust this other guy as he put it to me or from my own opinion.
When you say risque do you mean that you did some things right in front of her friend?
I know for me, I was uncomfortable when around both my friend and her boyfriend when they got a litttle too "affectionate."
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KingChaosNinja
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 26, 2005
Age: 22
Posts: 489
Location: Pittsburgh
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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I wouldn't know, I've never been good at making passes at women. I think it has something to do with pack mentality though. You're threatening the stability of the group.
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Sir_Beefy
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 10, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 126
Location: Middle of Nowhere, Maryland
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 4:43 pm Post subject: |
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Girls have a tendency to be hypocrites about the whole guys hitting on girls thing. For example, many women believe thats its fine for a taken woman to stare at a man's ass and check him out and all that, but if a guy does it, then he is cheating. It's the whole men are philandering pigs stereotype thing going on here. If girls were hitting on guy friends, the guy wouldn't care, cause guys know it's innocent fun. (most of the time) It amazes me how many women actually believe all guys want is sex. I was even in a chatroom the other day, and this one bitchy girl said as much.
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JohnHopkins
In no way offensive to anybody. Honest.
Joined: Nov 20, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2059
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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I'm thinking one of three things:
1. If you're hitting on her friend, she's essentially alone because you're taking up her friend's time. So she's there on her own, and that sucks.
2. She doesn't like you, specifically.
3. She's jealous of her friend, either because she gets attention from men and so she feels less pretty, or because she gets attention from you specifically. |
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Juniperberrygirl
Raven
Joined: May 11, 2008
Posts: 100
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Sir_Beefy wrote: | | Girls have a tendency to be hypocrites about the whole guys hitting on girls thing. For example, many women believe thats its fine for a taken woman to stare at a man's ass and check him out and all that, but if a guy does it, then he is cheating. It's the whole men are philandering pigs stereotype thing going on here. If girls were hitting on guy friends, the guy wouldn't care, cause guys know it's innocent fun. (most of the time) It amazes me how many women actually believe all guys want is sex. I was even in a chatroom the other day, and this one bitchy girl said as much. |
Some guys want only sex and some guy's want to be real and loving.
Perhaps she had only met men who wanted to use her for sex and thus had developed an attitude that repels those who would want an emotional relationship?
I mean, would you want to try to get to know someone who kept on saying that all you wanted was sex? Making no effort to see if that was the case or not? |
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nekowafer
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Age: 23
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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It could also have been that she decided that you weren't right for her friend.. girls can be protective of their friends like that. It's not her life but when you're close friends with another girl you watch out for her as much as you can.
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 8059
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:35 pm Post subject: Re: Why Do Women Care If Their Friend Is Being Hit On? |
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| NeantHumain wrote: | | While swimming today, I saw a girl I had talked to a few weeks before, so I decided, despite things getting a little weird last time, I'd talk to her again. Things got a little risqué, and one of her friends in particular was getting pissed off at both her and me. I don't really see why because it's not her life. In the end, her friend ruined it. Does anyone know why she might have done that? |
Women hang in pairs or groups. It's for socialization as much as it is for protection. They make dates and hang with each other in a casual but very specific date. If someone they meet gives more attention to one of the pair of girls, the other one will feel left out and ignored. This is her pal, who will talk to her about how rude you were by making her feel so unwanted. This is no way to impress your friend, as you want her on your side when counseling your prospective girl friend, right?
Men hang out with each other differently and one will easily roll off to do his own thing while hanging with a male friend, especially if the other guy is chatting up a girl. Or, the unoccupied male will talk to the girls' friend while his friend talks to the girl alone, it's called being a 'wingman'. Guys understand that no one wants to feel left out, and they know that women tell each other everything.
simple really, just good manners.
Merle
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Haliphron
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 29, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 1005
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 7:40 pm Post subject: |
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| nekowafer wrote: | | It could also have been that she decided that you weren't right for her friend.. girls can be protective of their friends like that. It's not her life but when you're close friends with another girl you watch out for her as much as you can. |
I think you nailed it right there nekowafter. Girls can and often are Very protective of their girlfriends, especially towards guys that one of them finds threatning/offputting/unattractive. Her friend mustve picked up "bad vibes" from Neanthuman and wanted to protect her friend s from someone she was put off by. |
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TheMidnightJudge
Ghost in the Machine
Joined: Mar 29, 2007
Posts: 1379
Location: New England
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| Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 11:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Sir_Beefy wrote: | | It amazes me how many women actually believe all guys want is sex. I was even in a chatroom the other day, and this one bitchy girl said as much. |
Yeah it is pretty bad, I could go on my own tirade about that sort of thing.
In fairness, those that bitch about such things may have dealt with guys who actually did only want to have sex. Other than that it's just steriotypes, because people hear things like what that chatroom girl said. |
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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Posts: 3717
Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 12:00 am Post subject: |
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| JohnHopkins wrote: | | 1. If you're hitting on her friend, she's essentially alone because you're taking up her friend's time. So she's there on her own, and that sucks. |
Unlikely because she was there with a third friend and other friends came and went occasionally.
| JohnHopkins wrote: | | 2. She doesn't like you, specifically. |
This much was obvious.
| JohnHopkins wrote: | | 3. She's jealous of her friend, either because she gets attention from men and so she feels less pretty, or because she gets attention from you specifically. |
This may be possible, but she has a boyfriend or husband even and a kid, so it's hard to imagine she could be jealous. Her friend was the one hitting on me, so it's obvious I'd be paying more attention to her. She should expect a single guy to become interested in someone who's making lascivious comments. |
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sinsboldly
Free Range Aspie
Joined: Nov 22, 2006
Age: 57
Posts: 8059
Location: Oregon, USA
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 12:11 am Post subject: |
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| NeantHumain wrote: | | Her friend was the one hitting on me, so it's obvious I'd be paying more attention to her. She should expect a single guy to become interested in someone who's making lascivious comments. |
that might be why the friend was annoyed. Maybe she was watching inappropriate behaviour and was not pleased that her friend was exhibiting it.
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I freed thousands of slaves; I could have freed more if they knew they were slaves.
-Harriet Tubman |
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NeantHumain
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 25, 2004
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Location: St. Louis, Missouri
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 12:46 am Post subject: |
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| sinsboldly wrote: | | NeantHumain wrote: | | Her friend was the one hitting on me, so it's obvious I'd be paying more attention to her. She should expect a single guy to become interested in someone who's making lascivious comments. |
that might be why the friend was annoyed. Maybe she was watching inappropriate behaviour and was not pleased that her friend was exhibiting it. |
One woman's inappropriate is another man's just-what-the-doctor-ordered. I didn't find it inappropriate. |
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AdolfOscarMayer
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Aug 30, 2008
Posts: 56
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 12:52 am Post subject: |
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| NeantHumain wrote: | | sinsboldly wrote: | | NeantHumain wrote: | | Her friend was the one hitting on me, so it's obvious I'd be paying more attention to her. She should expect a single guy to become interested in someone who's making lascivious comments. |
that might be why the friend was annoyed. Maybe she was watching inappropriate behaviour and was not pleased that her friend was exhibiting it. |
One woman's inappropriate is another man's just-what-the-doctor-ordered. I didn't find it inappropriate. |
Wow you know you could help me with my problem. |
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nekowafer
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 351
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| Posted: Sun Aug 31, 2008 12:56 am Post subject: |
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Everyone has different views, so it's very possible that she found something offensive in what you did, or what she did. It could have been the tiniest thing that you'd never notice, it's hard to know unless you were to ask.
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