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aurea
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 381
Location: melb,Australia
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 Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 4:06 am Post subject: Early stages of depression?? |
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Hi all I just thought I would share. I have been very worried about my 9yr old AS son. He has been more down than usual, I knew he was sad and I have been trying to get his school to recognise this, but I have been getting no where. I was told about and then shown an activity that some of the kids in my sons social skills club had done a few weeks ago. What it is was was a small box that the kids were given (each child got their own) they then had to decorate the outside of their box with what they portray to the world and then the inside the way they feel on the side. My son's was so sad. He had covered the lid of his box with some type of black material and then taken one of the pre prepared smiley faces turned it over and drawn a new face something like this : l (no real expression, very flat) he stuck this symbol on top of his box then he put one more face inside his little black box  . He then tried to hide this box from me, he said he didn't want me to see it. He used to tell me when he was down, I have been really worried about him. I had a meeting at his school trying to get across to his school just how down he is, they didn't get it. Well today I took the basic idea of the faces on his box and I asked him to draw a face that showed me how he felt about different things this is what I got.
SCHOOL  (then this one got crossed out and was changed to this) :l
the kids at school= :l
the school work= 
his teacher = 
his autism program= 
his autism teacher= 
home= ( but an even bigger smile)
I took this piece of what I think is very revealing paper to my sons school, I showed it to first his vp, I think she may finally have a small idea of what I have been talking about. Then I showed his teacher, who by the time I left was fighting back tears.
I just wanted to share, this was a great way (and ironically very visual) way for me to get across to my sons school just what is going on in his very anxious/sad head. |
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ster
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 24, 2005
Posts: 2398
Location: new england
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 6:32 am Post subject: |
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| i'd get him checked out by a doc.....does he have a therapist ? |
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ouinon
chemical reaction
Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 3444
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 6:50 am Post subject: |
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What about taking him out of school? My son homeschools and is very happy.
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"Life is pain; anyone who says different is selling something" |
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Crocodile
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Jul 28, 2008
Age: 16
Posts: 39
Location: Ede, The Netherlands
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 7:48 am Post subject: |
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Yeah, it seems like he is in an early stage of depression. I don't have children, and never will (I'm only 16) but I recognize some things you described, because I was depressive several times, so I know now how to recognize it. If I were you, I would go to a therapist, psychologist or whatever, because I know it can go very fast downhill with him. Within a couple of weeks it may be a nightmare. I don't write this to upset or to disturb you, I do this just because of the well-being of your son and you. Seek for help now, is my advice.
_________________
Christians believe in The Holy Bible, Muslims believe in The Qur'aan and I believe in Mother Goose's Tale.
'O! wat een pijn!'
Riep het skelet
'Wat een venijn;
een guillotine in mijn bed!'
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ghouna
Toucan
Joined: Jul 15, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 254
Location: London UK
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 8:08 am Post subject: |
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| I think OUinon is right, You could home educate your son. Maybe try it for a year... |
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rachel46
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: May 07, 2007
Posts: 185
Location: Midwest US
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 10:50 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | What about taking him out of school? My son homeschools and is very happy. |
I echo that sentiment. My son was a stressed out, anxious, not at all himself kid during public school. Now that we homeschool he is relaxed and happy -he's often in a better mood than I'm in!
I couldn't, if I had an alternative, send my child back to an environment that is making him so miserable. |
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lionesss
The Queen of not your typical kind of jungle
Joined: Aug 22, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 1013
Location: not anywhere near you
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 11:58 am Post subject: |
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I agree, if he is really depressed you can home school him. I am not all that familiar with homeschooling. My only concern is socializing, are there groups for kids that are home schooled? But hey, if his school is making him really miserable than that is a MUCH better option.
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I was told that I have PDD-NOS and ADHD- in other words, mild AS with a history of speech delay. I personally think its best to say that I am just plain under the spectrum! |
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ghouna
Toucan
Joined: Jul 15, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 254
Location: London UK
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 12:10 pm Post subject: |
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| yes there are a lot of group for home ed kids. We go to one every week, and three times a month we have day out. |
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ster
Phoenix
Joined: Sep 24, 2005
Posts: 2398
Location: new england
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 12:57 pm Post subject: |
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| i'm not as sure as the rest of you that it's school that's causing the depression , nor that homeschooling is the best answer for this parent....my son suffers from depression- he goes to a therapeutic school & is doing alot better compared to when he was first dxed with depression. he has a great therapist, and takes antidepressants. the same answer won't work for everyone. |
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ouinon
chemical reaction
Joined: Jul 11, 2007
Posts: 3444
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 12:59 pm Post subject: |
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| ster wrote: | | ...he goes to a therapeutic school & is doing alot better compared to when he was first dxed with depression... he takes antidepressants. |
I would rather try homeschooling before using drugs. To some people drugs might seem like a less radical solution than homeschooling,  but to me they would be an absolutely last resort.
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_________________
"Life is pain; anyone who says different is selling something" |
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jat
Snowy Owl
Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 151
Location: Pennsylvania
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 2:16 pm Post subject: |
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Aurea,
It definitely sounds like you are dealing with depression. Only a qualified professional would be able to assess the level or stage of the depression. There are two things to remember: first, depression in children can look very different from depression in adults; second, when children on the spectrum tell you something about how they are feeling, you should believe them even if what they are saying does not match their facial expressions or other body language. From what you've posted, it seems like you have a child who is very happy at home and with his autism teacher. It's a big deal that he likes his autism teacher, and that should be used as positively as possible. That teacher could be a key to helping your son deal with some of the issues he's having a hard time with, but it needs to be done in a way that doesn't negatively impact his positive feelings about the teacher or the program. Is it possible for him to spend more time in the program (if it's a separate program) for a while? After a proper assessment of your son's situation, you may need to work with the school to modify his work load, in order to reduce his anxiety about the things that cause him increased stress. Other things that increase his anxiety and stress would, of course, also need to be looked at and accommodated for. |
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DW_a_mom
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 1251
Location: Northern California
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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Aurea, I am really sorry to hear your son is feeling so unhappy.
It sounds to me like it is situational more than chemical.
The only way to know for sure will be to remove the situations with the sad faces, wait a month or two, and have him draw a new graph.
I now you've been trying to figure this all out with your child for a long time. Do you have some viable options to having him in school?
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Avatar copyright DW's Studio |
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aurea
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 22, 2007
Posts: 381
Location: melb,Australia
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 4:33 pm Post subject: |
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Hi all, thanks for the replies.
Home schooling was something that yes I did consider, however if I home schooled him he looses his autism program and that super special teacher who he loves.
I now have an interview with another school, they wont tell me yes or no if they can offer me a place, but they offered a meeting to discuss it. They want the autism resource worker there if thats possible for her. She will apparently already be there for something else, we are all hoping she can stay a little longer.
One of the other 9 year old AS boys from my sons autism arts program started at this school this year, after having a horrific experience at his last school, and this boys mum couldnt speak more highly of this school. If I can move my son J over to this new school it could help her son aswell, because prior to meeting J at the arts program he had had no interest in another child, and he is apparently now at a stage where he is wanting friends.
The school have about 6 children with ASD's enrolled and their programs are run a little different from most primary schools.
I have put in a call to my sons old case manager she is a clinical psycologist, I'm hoping she calls back today if not I will make enquiries else where.
For just a few seconds I felt really sorry for J's normal classroom teacher when I showed her his little black box and his list, she was devastated and fighting back tears, the situation with J I think finally sunk in. But I'm really mean and that feeling only lasted a few seconds, I then thought good, I'm glad you feel like crap, this is the way my little boy has been feeling, this is what I have been telling you all, this is what you have all been dissmissing as me being an over protective mum and J being manipulative. I even went so far as to tell her, that their school psycologist said J was manipulating me, this is so far from the truth that implies that he has the capacity to lie and he doesn't he is the most honest kid I know, if he does tell a lie he will within seconds tell me that he lied and then tell me the truth. She agreed with him being honest. I don't think she had ever put manipulation and lieing together before. Thanks again guys. I will keep you all posted. |
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hyper_alien
why?
Joined: Apr 19, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 1050
Location: In the arms of me lover
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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It may be that something is happening at school and he feels that he cannot talk about it. He should get checked out, but do not worry too much as this will make him feel worse. Just keep an eye on him and any sign of self harm or suicidal ideations get in contact straight away with the relevant authorities and try to get him some help. Really it is a case of keeping an eye on things and seeing how they progress.
You need to sit down with him and try to talk to him about what is happening at school. In cases like this it is important communication waves are kept open and early intervention is always helpful. Don't try and force him to tell you what is wrong he will tell you when he is ready, he just needs to know that he can tell you. You need to promise him that you wont get cross or upset by what he tells you. If he feels that he cannot verbally comunicate with you ask him to draw pictures or write about how he is feeling - I am twenty years old and this is sometimes the only way I can communicate with my friends what is happening in my head. He seems extremely intelligent and by changing the face about school he is showing he is not sure whether he can tell you about what is happening, but he is trying so keep working with him but DON'T pressure of force him into telling you what is wrong. It may also be usefull to get one of the books that explains about bullying and what that entails, as he may believe that what may be happening (no proof yet) is completely normal. This was how i was for most of my life untill someone basically spelt it out to me that what was happening was wrong and something needed doing about it.
If you need any more help or advice please feel free to contact me at:
Cobberz07@yahoo.com
My partner helped me to write this so I hope you don't mind, but we have both suffered depressive illnesses for a large part of our lives.
Hope all gets sorted out and please feel free to contact me on the above email address.
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Electric_Kite
Toucan
Joined: Aug 21, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 268
Location: crashing to the ground
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| Posted: Tue Sep 02, 2008 10:20 pm Post subject: |
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| aurea wrote: |
Home schooling was something that yes I did consider, however if I home schooled him he looses his autism program and that super special teacher who he loves.
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Are you sure that this is really so?
In the United States, many areas have laws that allow homeschool students to participate in certain programs provided by the public schools. "Special needs" programs being at the top of the list, stuff like joining the basketball team or trying out for a school play likely to be at the school's discretion. If you lived in such a place, you could walk your son right out of all the regular classes but bring him by for the autism program, given that it's a state-funded program. People who do live in such places often don't get told this, though. |
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