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muffrudge
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Posts: 34
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 Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 7:58 pm Post subject: is love/infatuation a feeling most of us want to experience? |
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i ask because during my adolescent and early adult years i've had a few intense crushes on people who proved to be unattainable to me, and i've found it quite hard to move on from them when they've screwed me over or i've lost touch with them, and my mother recently said to me on the subject: "they turn into obsessions, to the extent that they're not even about the person any more. you're an obsessive by nature; it strikes me that you need to have an obsession, for example Nadine and Kit [the fictional subjects of all my writing when i was a kid], the celebrity crushes when you were younger, and now the obsessions with people you often don't really know."
the statement made me wonder whether the latter feelings i've experienced for other people are genuine, because the first few times i experienced what i'd identify as love, it scared me witless and i tried to fight them but my efforts proved futile. but then as i got older, i found myself seeking out people i was attracted to and enjoying the thrill, wanting to feel this way about the other person. it occurred to me that this feeling was a variation on the original one but i've never given it this much thought until now. i mean, i know i could probably forget the obsession but i don't try because a big part of me enjoys the process, for reasons incomprehensible to others, i would imagine. maybe the feeling has changed as i've got older and adapted to it, but i don't know. sorry about the post dragging on a bit. |
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Triangular_Trees
What is right is sometimes found on the left.
Joined: Jul 18, 2007
Posts: 2053
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| Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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i'd say love is a feeling everyone should want
Infatuation is a feeling everyone should want to avoid. it feels great when you have, but is certainly not worth the crash you are pretty much guaranteed to experience afterward. Its posssible to have that infatuation for someone who loves you back, but in general infatuation occurs because of a lack of experience with love and sets you up for a lot of harm and being used, yet you don't realize it at the time because it feels to you like you are "head over heels in love" |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:02 pm Post subject: |
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Do I want to experience love? Yes.
Even though my total relationship experience amounts to one unofficial relationship that lasted less than a month, that feeling of being in love, in and of itself, makes me feel more complete, regardless of the woman at the other end... |
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BokeKaeru
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 507
Location: Alternately Los Angeles, CA and Northampton, MA
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| Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 8:50 pm Post subject: |
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I want to understand love on more than an intellectual level.... the lasting, devoted kind that is based on the person for all they are and doesn't just get thrown away casually. I've felt warmth for people, but I don't know if it could be called "love." I think it's possible, even if I don't feel it like other people do, I'm just looking for proof.
Infatuation just seems unnecessarily complicated and likely to cause problems. I'd rather not deal with something quite as temporary and fleeting. |
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Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1259
Location: Cyber Control
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| Posted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Only if it's reciprocated. That's not to say that if I fell in love with a woman who didn't love me that I would "stop loving her"... I just hope that I would only fall in love with someone who loved me back, because unrequited love can be extremely painful. |
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monkees4va
Raven
Joined: Sep 03, 2008
Posts: 111
Location: scotland! ^.^
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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| I would love to fall in love (pardon the pun) but sadly things like love don't seem to happen to singles in the modern, at least not from what i've seen. the divorce rate and such. I think the worst thing is when your sure you've fallen but the other person doesn't seem to return the feelings... :'( |
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MiniMozartAspie
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jan 30, 2008
Posts: 153
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Clicky |
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Arbie
Educated Stupid
Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 1747
Location: Near Greenville S.C.
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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| I have experienced infatuation and would like to experience it again, and would like to experience love. |
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Ryn
Velociraptor
Joined: Apr 10, 2008
Posts: 429
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:31 pm Post subject: |
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I used to, but I really don't want to anymore. I've never dated and I've liked a few people, but now I'm fine with being single. If anything, it seems like it might be a burden to like someone intensley.
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"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions."--Augusten Burroughs |
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AutisticMalcontent
Toucan
Joined: May 30, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 250
Location: In the annoying and painful realm of reality :P
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 12:57 am Post subject: |
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Infatuation makes you feel like you are the king of the world and that you can take on any obsticle (sp?). However, it is a false sense of happiness, you might feel elevated and energetic, but it will go away. I will tell you what true love is, and I won't be poetic about it, but if you want to know what TRUE love is, it is three things combined into one
True Love = Intimacy + Passion + Commitment
You need intimacy so you guys have something to talk about and so you can share your interests and hobbies with one another.
You need commitment to make sure your relationship is stable and that you are taking the time to watch out for one another.
You need passion because your body longs for it when you have the other two.
This is perfect love. Know it. Embrace it. and Strive for it. |
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Funaho
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 31, 2005
Age: 35
Posts: 314
Location: Detroit, Michigan
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 1:15 pm Post subject: |
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I seem to get rather easily infatuated with women, often because I find some silly little reason to think "maybe they're like me". It always ends in disappointment though; usually I find out they're married or something.
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Quantum Mechanics -- the dreams stuff is made of |
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