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Zeno
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 18, 2006
Posts: 351
Location: Singapore
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 Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:10 am Post subject: Do people believe that you are autistic? |
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| Most people do not believe me or do not care. As far as they are concerned, I am just behaving very badly. Or they think that by claiming autism, I am leaning on a crutch to come to terms with my many failures in life. The problem is that there are almost no physical signs or symptoms. Even as I struggle constantly from one series of meltdown episodes to another, there are no outward manifestations that others can observe aside from behavior that is increasingly reclusive and eccentric. For the very few who were sympathetic and to whom I have tried to explain the crazy dynamics of what it is like to have the system turn against you from the inside out, they still react in the same angry way when they see that I have refused to reciprocate social contact initiated by them during times when it is just hard for me to keep my brain straight. They will never accept that someone as articulate as myself would ever have moments when verbalizing is difficult and painful. |
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Spokane_Girl
I would walk 500 miles and I would walk 500 more
Joined: Jul 17, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 5245
Location: Benny & Joon town (I wish)
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:15 am Post subject: |
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I have never had this problem because I don't go around saying I am or even say I have AS. I don't know what they are thinking of me and I don't even ask what they think of me. I ask very few people what they think of me.
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"When a boat runs ashore, the sea has spoken." Mrs. Smail
"She paints, she reads, she lights things on fire." Benny
"Some cultures are defined by their relationship to cheese." Joon
Benny & Joon
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Zeno
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 18, 2006
Posts: 351
Location: Singapore
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:21 am Post subject: |
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I had no choice but to explain because of the circumstances but it bothered me that almost everyone dismissed what I said outright like they were experts and knew what I was or was not. People who have never had a meltdown before will never understand what it is and how debilitating it can be. But I have learned not to talk about it to people since they do not believe me anyways.  |
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aspergian_mutant
IP Banned
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Joined: Oct 28, 2004
Posts: 1588
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:33 am Post subject: |
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My Ex and I BOTH have Aspergers, but she never believed I did even though I showed all the signs.
I accepted her for all the things she was, but she never done the same with me. |
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Raaf
Butterfly
Joined: Sep 03, 2008
Posts: 10
Location: Southwest Ontario, Canada (originally the Netherlands)
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 12:42 am Post subject: Re: Do people believe that you are autistic? |
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| Zeno wrote: | | Most people do not believe me or do not care. As far as they are concerned, I am just behaving very badly. |
I quickly stopped spreading 'the news' when some of my 'friends' from then on started to ignore me as if I had the plague.
My true friends stuck with me though... my dx did not suddenly make me a stranger to them.
But I have often wondered why the others dismissed me.
Could it be that people are 'afraid' of invisible differences like autism? Like... the very same 'friends' could deal very well with one of them having cancer. They cared and they were interested...
Maybe people still have this prejudice that you have to be like Rainman to claim to be autistic.
The general public still doesn't have a (real) clue what autism is (or AS, or PDD-NOS), especially when you do happen to make eye contact, have a sense of humour, or have (some) empathy.
So I just tell folks e.g. that I cannot stand large crowds very well, or that I am sensitive to sounds... whatever is relevant at that moment. At least that is something they can understand.
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Rosalie
(dx AS+ADhD)
Now why can't I come up with a cute signature phrase... |
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Aurore
Dingo Lycanthrope
Joined: Dec 07, 2007
Age: 18
Posts: 1226
Location: North Carolina
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:02 am Post subject: |
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They often don't believe me either. I'm sorry this has been such a problem for you : (
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"The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls..." |
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Zeno
Deinonychus
Joined: Jun 18, 2006
Posts: 351
Location: Singapore
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:26 am Post subject: |
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| Thanks, but no need to feel sorry for me. I belong to the generation who grew up before acronyms like ADD or ADHD and no one knew what Aspergers was and autism was this super rare disorder that was only whispered about. But I suspect that even for kids today, many of them will face this problem. Part of it comes from the abuse of the autism label to game the healthcare system and another reason is that there are just no obvious physical traits that would help people differentiate the true Aspie. Some people are resistant to accepting that I am autistic because then it would make their bullying and abuse seem very wrong as opposed to a righteous attempt to put a misbehaving recalcitrant in his place. The inability to make people understand what it is like to have one's brain not work the way it ought to is perhaps the reason why I have chosen not to work and to accept the financial hardships instead. |
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tomamil
What the #$*!?
Joined: May 14, 2007
Posts: 1362
Location: currently Paris, France, but originally Asteroid B612
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:43 am Post subject: |
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i tried to tell some people, but of course its difficult when they dont try to understand. most people tried to convince me that i dont have it because they thought that they were consoling me that way. like when you say 'i think i have a tumor, my head is killing me', i tell you 'dont worry, 98% of headaches has nonorganic source'. they dont know that its actually good to know.
one friend tried to read about it first and when finished he said, 'that explains a lot'. i liked that. but it was only one and so dont talk about it anymore.
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Timeo hominem unius libri, I fear the man of one book, St. Thomas Aquinas. |
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Warsie
OG Balla Representin' Da Souf Sydeeee of Chi-City
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 1834
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:53 am Post subject: |
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don't blurt it out everywhere lol...only a few know of that and they seem okay....
....it was funny when I used that in debate tournaments to justify a genocide/neo-eugenics case, and a negative to 'help people' was basically 'f**k them, let them die off I don't give a sh**' (I used Pekka Eric-Auvinen's speech linked http://oddculture.com/2007/11/07/the-pekka-eric-auvinen-manifesto/ as a source, also cited niggermania.com and the like) to say as I am a "retard" myself and saying "let all the retards die" the judge should pass this case to have only the strong survive as I am willing to kill myself by letting this plan pass.....
..yes I said that in a debate tournament and I used that as evidence...it was AWESOME.
And no I was not serious, it's Policy Debate and there's no rules against argument styles or types so I took advantage of that....still managed to piss off a bunch of judges and opposing guys...always mentioned to them it's debate and shook their hands or hugged them ^_^
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I am a Star Wars Fan, Warsie here.
9/11 was an inside job
http://www.911truth.org/
Last edited by Warsie on Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:57 am; edited 1 time in total |
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UndercoverAlien
family guy fan ^^
Joined: Aug 11, 2008
Posts: 1268
Location: please tell me
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:57 am Post subject: |
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lol this might be a nice way to figure out if some one fakes being an aspie sinds aspies never tell (or atleast not much) that they have it
if they keep saying im an aspie im an aspie then deffinetly he isnt 
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whatamess
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 496
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:10 am Post subject: |
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I don't go around asking people, but I have told some (ie. family) that my son's autism is genetic...or at least MOSTLY genetic (he does have allergies that I believe cause some other issues as well)...Of course, they do NOT think that he possibly got it from me...they would much rather say that I am a WITCH...to which I say...NOTHING...
My husband is convinced 100%...he even told one doctor when he was diagnosing my son, and wanted to medicate him that he should give ME the same medication since everything he described applied to me as well...The doctor didn't find it funny...idiot...sigh... |
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Jennyfoo
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 06, 2006
Posts: 530
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:28 am Post subject: |
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My father is the only one I've shared it with who doesn't "get it." He can't see that there's anything "wrong", and he certainly can't admit that it's possibly because I'm just like him! My daughter is just like me! He's very narcissistic and has no clue. He could not possibly admit that there might be something "wrong" with him, so how can he possibly see it in me or my daughter?
My mom totally understands now. She also is a little sad and frustrated that she divorced my father for things that truly were not his fault. She knows he's AS too, she "got it" once I told her my daughter was and I suspected I was too- she put 2 and 2 together and correctly identified the traits in my father, his father, his brother, and in 2 of my 5 siblings.
I think my in-laws don't really understand yet. My FIL and MIL both have AS traits and both my FIL's parent's do- antisocial, hate going out anywhere, callous and a little too straight-forward=hurt feelings and resentment by many family members. My MIL however, did get to witness one of DD's meltdowns while she was helping us out over the past 6 weeks since I had a ruptured herniated disc and had to have emergency back surgery. I think she's starting to understand a bit better. We've told them about DD's diagnosis, but not of our own- mine by a psych and hubby's suspected self-diagnosis(he's also so much like my father it's scary sometimes. lol) |
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Dasha
Blue Jay
Joined: Jan 09, 2008
Posts: 89
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:32 am Post subject: |
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| In general its hard for people to accept that someone can have a serious problems and look normal. Society seems to ingrain into people that the only disabilities are the ones that are readily apparent, everything else is a fraud |
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sgrannel
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 21, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 600
Location: USA
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:54 am Post subject: |
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Yes! That's how I found out about it. I have been told that it's a problem because my weaknesses are difficult for others to see and understand. Strengths are also a part of it, I think, and these are also difficult for others to see if they don't know me well.
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White coats to bind me
out of control, I live alone inside my mind
World of confusion, air filled with noise
who says that my life's such a crime? |
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Danielismyname
I wish I were a classical nihilist
Joined: Apr 03, 2007
Posts: 6255
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:59 am Post subject: |
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As far as I'm aware (not that I tell people, but my mother does, as I tend to ignore people who hang around her).
The only time I'd tell someone would be if they asked me why I don't talk, and teachers, employers, employees, etcetera, who deserve to know why I behave funny compared to everyone else (asocial and ignoring of people). |
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