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annie2
Deinonychus
Joined: Sep 18, 2007
Posts: 345
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 Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 7:50 am Post subject: Do meltdowns improve with age? |
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Am interested in whether you have less meltdowns as an adult than you did as child, and at what age it was that you started to feel like you were gaining more control in situations (if any)?
Or do you still just have a similar number of meltdowns, but just deal with them differently? |
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asplanet
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 11, 2007
Posts: 1866
Location: Cyberspace, New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 8:02 am Post subject: |
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Before I knew about aspergers I would have meltdowns but never knew, now I understand can control etc..., as long as I can control the situation I am in, but if not in control of situation and to much change all at once... meltdowns much harder to control, but as an older adult I can, found alot harder when younger, but then never knew about aspergers or understood..
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Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1663
Location: Central USA
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 10:14 am Post subject: |
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I started to gain control at age 17, but I did it by sharply increasing the rate at which I injured myself. It wasn't until about age 22 or so that I actually learned to prevent meltdowns without having to resort to extreme (and temporary) measures. I believe it would have happened much earlier had I known I was autistic before the age of 19, when I was diagnosed. (My mother knew when I was 11 but did not believe it was a problem because I can talk and take care of myself, so she didn't consult a doctor.)
I cope with overload daily. That is and always will be a part of my life. However, most of the time I can prevent the problem from escalating by using different strategies for sensory, social, emotional, change, and transition stress.
This has led to a rather unconventional lifestyle. I am a loner with very little social contact; I spend most of my free time in intellectual or recreational activity. I allow myself to do "strange" things in public, like stimming or wearing a blanket-like cloak. I have routines for most parts of my life. Every other week, I go to counseling for advice on solving problems; every month, to trade ideas with other autistics in a support group. I wear no make-up, cut my hair very short, and choose my clothes for feel, not style. (If I have ever been in style at all in my life, it was accidental.) I am lucky to not need much social contact; but I do go to church, which fills the dual roles of giving me spiritual support and allowing me to socialize so that I don't lose the skills I have.
This might seem like a lot of bother, but one must consider that during my teen years, I had all-out temper-tantrum-style meltdowns two to three times a week. During those years, I didn't know I was autistic, and the whole sensory world annoyed me. I didn't realize how bad polyester made me feel. I had to constantly socialize with parents, one of whom was abusive when he was home (which thankfully wasn't often; he was usually at the casinos). Worst of all, I didn't know why I had those meltdowns; so I blamed myself for being immature and uncontrolled.
Today, I don't have all-out temper tantrums anymore. I have destroyed objects (Jenny McCarthy's book was the last victim... it was a library book and I had to pay $27); I've cried; but I haven't been completely out of control in years. There has always been enough left to find a private place, retreat, and calm down.
I worry sometimes that I will have a full meltdown in public someday and end up in the hospital, in jail, or worse... At least I am female, short, and fat, and do not seem threatening to most people.
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Followthereaper90
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 30, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 993
Location: finland
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:08 am Post subject: |
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i still have bad meltdowns which i controll whith meds help  and i allready endet up in grouphoe at age of 13 and they will restraint me to bed if i lose control
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followthereaper until its time to make a turn,
followthereaper until point of no return-children of bodom-follow the reaper |
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lionesss
The Queen of not your typical kind of jungle
Joined: Aug 22, 2008
Age: 33
Posts: 1013
Location: not anywhere near you
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 11:09 am Post subject: |
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Once I speech really came in at 6 my meltdowns became much less. I had terrible meltdowns before that because I couldn't communicate properly about what I wanted and needed. I only have a "meltdown" now if I cannot find something that I need or if I am SEVERELY stressed or EXTREMELY upset about something that happened. I will yell, curse and even throw things. Those are the only 3 things that would cause me to do that now. But up until I was around 11, if a show that I wanted to watch wasn't on tv, I would throw a bit of a tantrum. My son throws many less tantrums now because his speech is in enough for him to communicate what he needs and wants. But when he was 2, his tantrums were awful.
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I was told that I have PDD-NOS and ADHD- in other words, mild AS with a history of speech delay. I personally think its best to say that I am just plain under the spectrum! |
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KingdomOfRats
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Age: 24
Posts: 2675
Location: Manchester
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 1:22 pm Post subject: |
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it depends on the autie or aspie,as it can stay the same for someone,get better or even get worse.
it doesnt improve for all,like what some WPers say.
some auties have what specialists call 'explosive autism'-which is when it's classical autism with severe,regular meltdowns throughout age,the same goes for aspies with the same problem/'explosive aspergers'.
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["Even through the darkest days, this fire burns...always"-Killswitch Engage]
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Callista
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 04, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1663
Location: Central USA
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Followthereaper90 wrote: | | i still have bad meltdowns which i controll whith meds help and i allready endet up in grouphoe at age of 13 and they will restraint me to bed if i lose control |
Yeah, see, I seriously doubt that is going to make it any better... Really, if you can predict meltdowns even by 30 seconds and run off to someplace private, you can often prevent it from getting really bad, but if they stick you in restraints there's no way you can do that, nor do most stims, which also help... Why is it that this is so obvious, and yet they don't seem to get it?
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Unknown_Quantity
Velociraptor
Joined: Sep 16, 2007
Posts: 427
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:08 pm Post subject: |
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Absolutely. I'm 33 and I gain more and more control over my life every year.
It's still hard, but it gets easier and easier as you get older.
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IN GIRVM IMVS NOCTE ET CONSVMIMVR IGNI |
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Sora
Love all, trust a few
Joined: Sep 16, 2006
Age: 20
Posts: 2854
Location: Europe
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 3:14 pm Post subject: |
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No improvement here. Quite the contrary, they only got worse the older I got so far.
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ChristinaCSB
Toucan
Joined: Jul 23, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 263
Location: Lakewood, Ohio
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 4:17 pm Post subject: |
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| Sora wrote: | | No improvement here. Quite the contrary, they only got worse the older I got so far. |
Agreed. But medications have helps me so yeah. |
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Funaho
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 31, 2005
Age: 35
Posts: 314
Location: Detroit, Michigan
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 5:50 pm Post subject: |
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I have to say, I think I have gotten worse at handling stress as I've gotten older, and I have to carefully manage stress (read: pretty much do nothing besides working) to avoid overloading. I got lucky with work and managed to land a nice programming job in a university environment which is very laid back most of the time; it fits me well.
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liloleme
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 09, 2008
Age: 41
Posts: 413
Location: California
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:16 pm Post subject: |
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| I think I handle my meltdowns better....I resist the urge to kick or throw things. I think I learned to control myself more since I started having kids. Still, I have them but I view them as a sort of release and I do feel better afterwards. |
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The_Cucumber
Phoenix
Joined: May 05, 2007
Posts: 524
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:33 pm Post subject: |
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I have, but only with a serious conscious effort. I'd say the average Aspie probably has less frequent meltdowns the older they get but it's not by age alone, it's a combination of (possibly unconsciously) avoiding situations where meltdowns frequently occur and slowly figuring out how to control them.
I control mine through sheer willpower, it wasn't easy at first but now it's practically instinct.
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AngelUndercover
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 03, 2006
Age: 22
Posts: 401
Location: somewhere else
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 6:50 pm Post subject: |
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My meltdowns have gotten gradually less frequent as I've gotten older. Growing up has helped; so has understanding more about what causes them (especially now that I'm fairly certain I have AS). I also have to do a lot less socializing now than I did when I was a kid (although some of my other stresses have gotten worse), and I'm able to do more stimming. Both of those things probably help.
I can also keep them somewhat more contained now; they aren't as noisy or as hostile as they were when I was younger. (I don't think I ever actually physically attacked anyone, but I would yell or snap at people who tried to console me.)
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i_Am_andaJoy
the dischord in the thrum...
Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Age: 29
Posts: 1172
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
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| Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 7:04 pm Post subject: |
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it is hard to say for myself, but my father's "temper" as my family calls it, and his meltdowns as i now call it, have mellowed. that happened in his 40s. and they are vastly less intense, but not gone completely.
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