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Arbie
Educated Stupid
Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 1747
Location: Near Greenville S.C.
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 Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:08 pm Post subject: (Dating Sites) How do you make yourself seem interesting? |
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I have signed up on and looked at a few dating sites and the problem I come across is filling out my personal description. How much information should I put about stuff like AS and Social Anxiety issues? Also, how do I make an interesting description? How do those of you that use these sites come up with interesting descriptions about yourselves? Are there anythings to avoid putting in my description that might not seem obvious?
One other question. Is there a minimum level of functionality that a person should have before they should even bother with dating sites. In other words, do you think it is a waste of time for someone with severe social issues and lack of experience, and low income to even bother with dating, or dating sites? I think it is probably a bad idea for me personally and that it will lead to much humiliation but at the same time I am tired of being alone and dating sites are one option available to me, even if nothing ever comes of it. It is fairly easy for me to interact with people by text and very little of my anxiety comes through beyond making the first communication.
Any opinions/stories/advice about using dating sites would be appreciated. |
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Aspinator
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Feb 24, 2008
Posts: 74
Location: AspinatorLand
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:24 pm Post subject: Dating Site Descriptions |
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| My feelings are honesty is the best policy. When I last used a dating site I stated that I had Asperger Syndrome and I was interested in meeting women who were also on the spectrum. My rationale being that I probably wouldn't get alot of responses but the ones I would get I would have more in common with them. |
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Arbie
Educated Stupid
Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 1747
Location: Near Greenville S.C.
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:28 pm Post subject: Re: Dating Site Descriptions |
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| Aspinator wrote: | | My feelings are honesty is the best policy. When I last used a dating site I stated that I had Asperger Syndrome and I was interested in meeting women who were also on the spectrum. My rationale being that I probably wouldn't get alot of responses but the ones I would get I would have more in common with them. |
In my case NT women are fine by me so I would want the most possible responses from them, not that I have anything at all against aspies but it is a simple matter of numbers. How do you think non aspies would react to me putting aspergers in my profile? I think that is something I should keep to myself until later on if it at all. |
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Keith
Guarding my post here
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1012
Location: East Sussex, UK
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:37 pm Post subject: |
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I don't do dating sites anymore. I would mention it in my profile, anyone with sense can look it up, just remember to mention your strengths. You are advertising yourself. Mention that it means you have less chance to cheat on them  |
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Arbie
Educated Stupid
Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 1747
Location: Near Greenville S.C.
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:39 pm Post subject: |
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| Keith wrote: | | I don't do dating sites anymore. I would mention it in my profile, anyone with sense can look it up, just remember to mention your strengths. You are advertising yourself. Mention that it means you have less chance to cheat on them |
Could you share some of your experiences using them and what led you to stop using them? |
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Aspinator
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Feb 24, 2008
Posts: 74
Location: AspinatorLand
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:41 pm Post subject: RE: Dating Sites |
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| NT women would probably be turned off by someone stating that they have AS in their personal description. I have met some very accepting NTs but viewing things from a long-term perspective I still think an Aspie man would have more in common with an Aspie woman. |
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 2005
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:47 pm Post subject: |
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Don't put anything about AS, but maybe say you are and introverted and ecentric. You can give them more personal infomation when you get to know them better.
Arbie you have a great sense of humour exploit that to the max, make your profile funny.
Go for it. |
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Arbie
Educated Stupid
Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 1747
Location: Near Greenville S.C.
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| Posted: Sat Sep 06, 2008 11:54 pm Post subject: |
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| MR_BOGAN wrote: | Don't put anything about AS, but maybe say you are and introverted and ecentric. You can give them more personal infomation when you get to know them better.
Arbie you have a great sense of humour exploit that to the max, make your profile funny.
Go for it. |
I have a trouble just "being funny". I usually need something to respond too. Thanks for the encouragement though, I'll add that to the list of things to attempt to add to my profiles.
# of things on my list so far: 1  |
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MR_BOGAN
Mysterios Dirty Dancer
Joined: Mar 06, 2008
Age: 30
Posts: 2005
Location: The great trailer park in the sky!
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| Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 12:04 am Post subject: |
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Yeah that is another good idea having things to respond to. You could ask some random question in your profile. Like say "tell me what flavoured ice cream you like?" Say that you think ice cream flavour is very important in a relationship.
They should hopefully find it funny and then they might message you their favorite ice cream flavour. For example.. You might be able to think of something better. |
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Arbie
Educated Stupid
Joined: Mar 23, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 1747
Location: Near Greenville S.C.
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| Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 12:06 am Post subject: |
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| MR_BOGAN wrote: | Yeah that is another good idea having things to respond to. You could ask some random question in your profile. Like say "tell me what flavoured ice cream you like?" Say that you think ice cream flavour is very important in a relationship.
They should hopefully find it funny and then they might message you their favorite ice cream flavour. For example.. You might be able to think of something better. |
Hey good idea, thanks. |
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lotusblossom
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 14, 2008
Posts: 461
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 4:40 am Post subject: |
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Stick to the positive and leave the negative out, this is needed to avoid coming across as a looser.
Some guys come across as creepy and bitter and it is off putting as one is trying to avoid the crazy stalkers lol. So try and appear non threatening and positive.
make sure you put your interests and what makes you happy.
My good friend told me that "its better to be hated for what you are, rather than loved for what you are not" and this applies strongly to online dating.
I think you will do fine as you have a really nice character and are very beautiful. |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3458
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 7:41 am Post subject: |
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-Pick only your hottest pics and discard the bad ones.
-Put pics you took with your friends or in social event , that will show that you are sociable
-Put pics of you that show your car and your house at the background but don't put pics that only show your car and house.
-Put pics of you doing some physical activities
-Put cliché words in your description : self-confident, loyal , serious , funny....
or
Change your sex to female and make a profile in a lesbian dating service. |
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Landaree
Raven
Joined: Aug 25, 2008
Posts: 111
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| Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 8:14 am Post subject: Re: Dating Site Descriptions |
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| Arbie wrote: | | How do you think non aspies would react to me putting aspergers in my profile? I think that is something I should keep to myself until later on if it at all. |
Well, being completely forthcoming about your shortcomings (or what you perceive as such) is kind of original, if not anything else, and it also has the added benefit of showing that you're also honest.
It's just a question of waiting for someone for whom originality and honesty are at about the top of their priorities. |
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
Joined: Jul 03, 2004
Age: 28
Posts: 22319
Location: San Marcos, Texas
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| Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 10:26 am Post subject: |
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I would steer clear of putting "Hi" or "Hello" as an initial message subject.
_________________
When you need something, that's a responsibility, that only an adult...of my maturity...Bunnies!!!
~Meatwad, Aqua Teen Hunger Force |
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lotusblossom
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 14, 2008
Posts: 461
Location: UK
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| Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 2:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Tim_Tex wrote: | | I would steer clear of putting "Hi" or "Hello" as an initial message subject. |
I always say that 
whatever you do dont ask to meet up on your first message as you will look like a serial killer.
And just for fun:
one guy who sent me a message had his interests listed as cars and oral sex! I laughed so much! what a freeky creepster  |
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