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KingofKaboom
Naughty by Nature
Joined: Oct 21, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4058
Location: North Mississippi
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 Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 7:54 pm Post subject: Well ofcourse I'm alone... |
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I was going to an Art Exhibit for my class today hoping that a girl I like would show up. I saw her as I left my dorm and didn't say squat b/c she was with 5-6 people all of whom I didn't know at all so I was too nervous  30 minutes later I come back she's still there only now it's her and 2 girls but I'm still too nervous dangit.... Well of course I'm alone if I never talk to her when I get a chance I can't do anything if I don't atleast try too a little...... I'm depressed now from that dangit it's horrible sometimes I can talk to them and other times I can't and it's the same circumstances and odds of failure and I've been blown off and taken it very well heck I even think she likes me b/c she looks at me for well more than the others did as they didn't look at me at all and she did... I've spoken to her once but not since b/c I get so very few chances and the ones I do get I'm too nervous so of course I'm all alone of course I'm going to be alone forever because of this....
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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 11891
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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Sorry to hear that kingofkaboom 
I know just what you mean espeacially when that particular person is chatting up with a bunch of people and you don't know what to say. I can't tell how many times I went throught that espeacially around just a friend or two.
Have you thought of just saying hello and just trying the small stuff like "How are you?"
I know I'm no good with small talk, I used to have to write just a casual welcome or something to chat about before I'd randomly get out and speak. Mine were mostly topics in any area of some significance as embarassing as that sounds.
Don't give up but I wouldn't push yourself too much either.
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6thSin:Envy |
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Social_Fantom
Unmasked
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 11696
Location: Dobson, North Carolina
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| Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:05 pm Post subject: |
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Maybe not, you seem to be getting a lot of chances to talk to women. Be patient and practice until you are more comfortable. Practice by just talking to them causally, and even talk to women that you have no interest in. You can't expect every woman you talk to to want to date you right off the bat. At least you have such an opportunity. If you screw up with one, what's the worst that can happen? There are plenty of fish in the sea, and where you are also. 
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KingofKaboom
Naughty by Nature
Joined: Oct 21, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4058
Location: North Mississippi
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| Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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She was alone outside studying so I just said f*** it and went out and sat down next to her short version is we chatted a little not much I introduced myself and I don't think she is really interested maybe she is maybe not I dunno but I know she wasn't trying to get to know me just then not even 3 mins ago. I dunno I'm considering adding her on facebook but I dunno if that's a good idea b/c well whatever I don't think she's into me I'll just say hi from now on and try to talk to her when I can. But I did try and I feel better overall atleast I'm not wondering what if or why not? anymore. 
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BPalmer
Sea Gull
Joined: Jul 26, 2008
Posts: 243
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| Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 9:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Social_Fantom wrote: | | If you screw up with one, what's the worst that can happen? |
If you screw up with one, she will warn her friends to avoid you as well. They are addicted to group-think and prejudice. |
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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
Posts: 11891
Location: Anywhere but HERE!
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| Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 9:38 pm Post subject: |
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^Not all people act or think like that.
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__Cheshire
6thSin:Envy |
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Cherrililac
Butterfly
Joined: Sep 03, 2008
Age: 42
Posts: 10
Location: earth?
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| Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 9:50 pm Post subject: When I'm in that situation |
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| I try walking as if I was going by, and say a casual "Hello" as if I were walking on. If the person turns toward me, then I know that I am welcome to join the conversation. If he or she waved and turns back to the other friend, then it is a private conversation, and I go away. |
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KingofKaboom
Naughty by Nature
Joined: Oct 21, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4058
Location: North Mississippi
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 2:07 am Post subject: |
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The stupid part is she obviously has some guy she always talks to and when I go to talk to her she doesn't really seem to care she isn't rude or anything or seeming to want me to go away but she doesn't seem like she wanted to talk and yes she wsa studying but she managed to look at her friend when he sat down and stuff and I guess she was just messing with me or something by looking at me like she was b/c a girl doesn't look at a guy like that by accident either she likes me or she was messing with me either way she didn't really seem like talking to me when I tried to talk to her so whatever I won't go out of my way like that again to talk to her since the whole time I was there I felt uncomfortable and kinda ignored so I didn't really enjoy that and if that's what I've got to expect when talking to her then I'd rather not. The awful part is even though I know she doesn't really like me I still want her to and can't stop that feeling and feel worse when I see her with someone and she looks at me and then won't talk to me it's ridiculous.......
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Keith
Guarding my post here
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1012
Location: East Sussex, UK
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 2:47 am Post subject: |
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| Life is full of things we don't want to do but would rather avoid. Sometimes the only way forward is to go for it. Being blunt has it's advantages. |
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deadeyexx
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 11, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 128
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:30 am Post subject: |
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| BPalmer wrote: | | Social_Fantom wrote: | | If you screw up with one, what's the worst that can happen? |
If you screw up with one, she will warn her friends to avoid you as well. They are addicted to group-think and prejudice. |
That's a self-defeating way of thinking.
Look at it this way. Right now, she and her friends already don't interact with you much. The worst possible thing that can happen is more of the same. You have nowhere to go but up from here. |
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JohnHopkins
In no way offensive to anybody. Honest.
Joined: Nov 20, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2059
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 7:30 pm Post subject: |
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| deadeyexx wrote: | | That's a self-defeating way of thinking. |
Welcome to Wrongplanet. |
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Social_Fantom
Unmasked
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 11696
Location: Dobson, North Carolina
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| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 2:10 am Post subject: |
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These things are just going to take time and effort. I know it is frustrating when someone you want to talk to isn't giving you much time. Try not to get too depressed if a girl doesn't talk to you right away. Do what you can to stand out from the crowd. Show them that you are special, and you are, have Aspergers. Sure it limits us in that capacity but it also has some great advantages. Don't advertise that you have AS, but advertise it's strengths. But ultimately be yourself. I've always had a motto: Anyone that doesn't like someone for being themselves isn't worth it. It may sound a little mean, but the point is that if they don't like it, it's their problem not yours.
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KingofKaboom
Naughty by Nature
Joined: Oct 21, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4058
Location: North Mississippi
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| Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 3:18 am Post subject: |
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Bit of an update. I know she was looking at me and everything that I don't understand but I do know that she wasn't interested in talking to me so whatever reason it was she had to be looking at me was meaningless and as it stands now I'm just gonna forget she exists as best I can because she clearly doesn't like me. I just haven't been able to figure out what her staring at me as I walk by is about I wish I had someone to talk to at length about these things b/c they could help me better understand it. All I know is from the way she acting when I talked to her for the first time she doesn't like me at all in the way I hoped so I'll just try my best to let it go which is impossible for me really as it takes months....
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