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biospark
Butterfly
Joined: May 12, 2008
Posts: 17
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 Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:01 am Post subject: i messed up big time |
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so yesterday, a girl comes up to me, says "Are you john?"
"Yes"
"I was wondering if you would come outside and smoke with me?"
I said "NO thanks"
She persisted
in my stupidity i did not realize what was going on, or am i going crazy, was she hitting on me because as she walked away she looked dejected.
BTW she was good looking, not a hottie, but sexy in a normal way.
Please tell me what i did wrong and how to fix this i will see her again, and i want to be ready this time |
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Keith
Guarding my post here
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1012
Location: East Sussex, UK
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:11 am Post subject: |
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Depends if you smoke... You could always put it down to stress  |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:12 am Post subject: |
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| I would have rejected merely for the fact that I don't smoke... |
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biospark
Butterfly
Joined: May 12, 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:24 am Post subject: |
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| ok but i do smoke so what then |
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Oggleleus
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jun 03, 2008
Posts: 178
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:27 am Post subject: |
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Whatcha smoking?
Sounds like she may have trying to get you alone and talk more but my crystal ball is not handy at the moment. Anyway, there is no law or rule that states that you have to smoke with her. You could of said,"Sure I'll go with you to smoke and keep you company but I am not a smoker." Smokers are people too and in my opinion, to limit yourself based on social peer pressure about smoking is the pot calling the kettle black.
I have no tolerance for zero tolerance! |
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Vexcalibur
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 18, 2008
Posts: 627
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:33 am Post subject: |
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| biospark wrote: | | ok but i do smoke so what then |
Then you screwed it up 
Don't worry you'll have other opportunities.
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Mankind is not evil; it´s just misinformed ~ Charles Xavier |
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Landaree
Raven
Joined: Aug 25, 2008
Posts: 111
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 11:43 am Post subject: |
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| biospark wrote: | | ok but i do smoke so what then |
So, nothing. I assume you didn't want to smoke then, or else you would've said “yes”, wouldn't you? Yeah, she probably felt dejected; but at least now she knows that you're not the type that'll do just about anything to have a date.
My point is, would you want to date with a person that just can't take “no” for an answer?  |
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Keith
Guarding my post here
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Age: 25
Posts: 1012
Location: East Sussex, UK
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 12:09 pm Post subject: |
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| Ask her for a cigarette and apologise that you couldn't the other day because of work problems, (whatever) Remember to say "I hope I didn't offend or upset you" or something like that |
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computerlove
emos and goths, please die.
Joined: Jul 11, 2006
Posts: 3535
Location: Male, Mexico, Graphic Design
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 1:33 pm Post subject: Re: i messed up big time |
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yes you messed big time! doh!
you can just be there and don't smoke, just be there.
do as Keith.
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One of God's own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. |
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deadeyexx
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 11, 2007
Age: 27
Posts: 128
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| Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2008 1:44 pm Post subject: |
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Kind of, but nothing too bad for now. I've found that when NTs ask if you wanna join them in an activity, it's not about the activity itself, but they're really asking "do you want to spend time with me?". You said no, and that's why she looked dejected when she left.
Don't worry though, it's ok to say no. Everyone does sometimes for any number of reasons. However, the general rule when you do is that you initiate the interaction next time.
Ask her to do something with you. Don't be overly apolegitic for last time & put your foot in your mouth. Just do it naturally. Even if she says no too, at least you've recipricated interest. |
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zee
human wannabe
Joined: Jul 19, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1122
Location: backstage
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| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 6:56 pm Post subject: Re: i messed up big time |
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| biospark wrote: | so yesterday, a girl comes up to me, says "Are you john?"
"Yes"
"I was wondering if you would come outside and smoke with me?"
I said "NO thanks"
She persisted
in my stupidity i did not realize what was going on, or am i going crazy, was she hitting on me because as she walked away she looked dejected.
BTW she was good looking, not a hottie, but sexy in a normal way.
Please tell me what i did wrong and how to fix this i will see her again, and i want to be ready this time |
It's odd that she persisted. Why should it be so important just to have a cigarette together? Well, if you like her then you can ask her again like Keith said, but I wouldn't worry over it.
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Oh how I wish to dream again |
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KingofKaboom
Naughty by Nature
Joined: Oct 21, 2007
Age: 21
Posts: 4058
Location: North Mississippi
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| Posted: Sat Sep 13, 2008 10:47 pm Post subject: |
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Just be nice to her and act like it didn't happen at all she'll look upset and confused because she will be but just be nice and she should forgive you. Just understand you probably upset her fairly well and she won't wanna try that again so now you have to and I recommend just being nice and talking to her a few times maybe showing up outside while she's smoking and talking to her about something anything really just something you think she'd know something about like well maybe she likes dogs and you've seen her with them or having pictures of them then ask about her dogs. Really just let her know that you don't dislike her and that what happened was just a fluke b/c it was a bad day.
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JohnHopkins
In no way offensive to anybody. Honest.
Joined: Nov 20, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2059
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| Posted: Sun Sep 14, 2008 10:10 am Post subject: |
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| Go and ask her to go for a smoke next time. |
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biospark
Butterfly
Joined: May 12, 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:06 pm Post subject: |
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| Landaree wrote: | | biospark wrote: | | ok but i do smoke so what then |
So, nothing. I assume you didn't want to smoke then, or else you would've said “yes”, wouldn't you? Yeah, she probably felt dejected; but at least now she knows that you're not the type that'll do just about anything to have a date.
My point is, would you want to date with a person that just can't take “no” for an answer? |
dude no i said iwas trying to quit, i get flustered in front of girls |
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Hector
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 902
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| Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 2:24 pm Post subject: |
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| If you really care then apologise to her the next time you meet, explain that you're trying to kick the habit, and offer to go for a coffee or something. |
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