3 long days at the NZ conference Setp.2008

asplanet · Posted: Mon Sep 15, 2008 1:18 am Post subject:

My feedback, thought some of you may enjoy Wink

Autism NZ Conference 2008 from an Aspie (ASD persons) point of view: the Autism NZ conference started and I felt so hopeful as the Hillmorton High School Kapahaka Group started the official opening and truly were amazing, I really felt and sensed the whole moment. The day started on a high note, despite the crowds and noise and feeling alittle like on a busy motorway going in the wrong direction. I would like to say Dr Stephen Shore, USA a great individual and very genuine speaker, Professor Tony Attwood his usual entertaining polished self... and Matt Frost gave a brilliant opening address, even The Honourable Ruth Dyson was impressed.

At the end of the first long day of Autism NZ conference and ASK Trust group evening meeting on Friday...My mind was saturated with words and thoughts so off to get some much needed sleep. Woke up feeling quite despondence, even sad the conference seemed to be more about us from an NT prospective and could not help but wonder if that gap will ever be bridged, where we do not have to continually play the part to fit into a world that often is unforgiving, returned feeling a little apprehensive – still another 2 days at the Autism NZ conference, maybe it’s just me and the situation, change ..... would like to add we are not all train crazed!

After 3 days of conference I would be quite happy to sit and stare at a blank wall, I do not feel I have learned anything I did not already know, except confirmation that the gap between us aspies and NTs (neurotypicial person not on the autism spectrum) is huge..... the aspies all stuck together as always, safety in numbers.... and not wanting to seem more odd, the one that always disagrees, points out the obvious mistakes, mainly kept quite most of the time, the NTs sat in rows taking in every word, but to me they were just hearing the very basics of who I am.

I am glad I attended if it was just to meet one of the key speakers Dr Stephen Shore a fellow aspie, who reminded me our aspie connection, is worldwide and can only but admire his endless efforts to speak, write and help others into our world. I also felt Russell Browns speech was more on the lines of what further conferences should be like, but could feel the silent shock at some points and some totally missed the point, even feeling the need to judge him so wrongly as a parent, to me like a breath of fresh air. I also have to mention Tim Powell and the sibling panel who gave a wonderful insight and great response to questions.

Of course there is only so much we could see as many concurrent sessions and as found the smaller sessions more interesting and in insightful... maybe should have more of and less of the key speakers like Professor Patricia Howlin UK, to be honest would of preferred to read her book than listen to her.... I think she is so into her work partly disconnected from the real world, real aspies's. She gave examples of very extreme cases, more for impact I felt like "we sit on the circle line train and go around and around, one way some of us socialize!!! or walk along train tracks and of course dangerous as can get killed!!! really there are also some strange NTs in the world, I feel they should be giving good examples, or more realistic ones, by the end of her speech most NTs would want to avoid us....

There was a few times I could of burst into disagreement, but not wanting to be spoken to like a misunderstood child, just wondered when the ignorance would ever end.... I guess I know we will never be able to educate everyone and to help instigate change I have to seem normal on NT terms....

The AS child who nearly all continue to be bullied, I do not feel many NTs really do not, or cannot comprehend how bad it is and the extent of damage it causes... it amuses me they blame the problem on the schools and child, I think the whole point is missed.... the parents need to start to teach children about diversity and difference and what’s not ok, and be good examples themselves....

After some of the things said throughout the last few days, as an aspie it made me want to hid away, thank god for the retreat room, when I found it, hidden away, the afterthought. I guess that says a lot in itself, in fact there was an excessive amount of paper handed out and could find no mention of the retreat room, it did mention the notice broad, even name tags and how to dress! – in fact I think our room was off the floor plan map. This culture talk about us without us, really has to change. But at least there us aspies could talk freely and recharge, not be judged. No wonder so many of us find it easier to alienate ourselves when we are made to feel like aliens…,

At times I honestly felt it all a little too nice, basic and belittling to the people it’s meant to help... I guess it is to educate NTs, but if I wanted to know about NTs more would speak and hear from them. So as an aspie the main ingredients was missing “aspie” which I guess I feel is rather strange, maybe we need NT training. As some NTs were explaining I felt spoken about, I only really felt included or that what was being said was right, when the aspie people spoke... or people living with aspies... Any suggestion how we bridge this gap, apart from another planet!

My thoughts day after conference - is it really 2008, I feel like I have been punched and kicked, no wonder others look at me and just smile. 3 long days of mostly having others talk about, rather than feel included... I smiled politely my fixed mask grin while underneath felt I was back in the dark ages... in cyberspace I truly thought others were beginning to get and understand our differences... I still feel the majority feel an obligation to change us, look after us, even fix us! what I ask... what I need is understanding, others allowing for my differences without judging me for being me.

Of course there were some inspirational people there and for those of you who like myself really want to involve AS people in a world that is often unforgiving for our differences or just not willing to listen except on their terms. I thank you and Autism NZ for all their hard work and for bringing people together, but let’s hope next time the aspie/autie community can play a much bigger part, not feel like the afterthought.

The strange thing is I feel many of us on the autism spectrum, do not agree with alot of the information others are being feed about us, only instigating others to feel sorry for us, but I feel do not quite get who we are, among a group of aspies I am as normal as you are among a group of NTs. Maybe there should be an Aspie conference where they explain NTs to us, but really shouldn't the Autism conference be a lot more inclusive of those of us on the autism spectrum... spend just 1 day reading, talking to people who like myself are differently able, if you really want to understand.

I also found it amusing that the conference brochure saying across the front "making the Connection" no mention of the ASK Trust the national group run for and by people on the autism spectrum, or my web site/forum where you can read about and speak with people on the autism spectrum themselves, I guess I dare speak out and challenge...

Just a part of some of the many comments I have started to receive from the ASD community, since the Autism NZ 2008 conference:
"IT IS PRECISELY THE REASON I DIDN'T ATTEND ITS A LOT OF MONEY TO FEEL INSULTED AND PISSED OFF. Seems like nothing has changed since i last went to the conference when it was in chch which is i think 2002 so no progress. and i noted that they handed out sh** like chocolate bars with the autism Nz logo on them and a cup for god sake with the same logo.............so the thats proof that the 3million govt grant to aut nz was well spent!......."

"It is with some sadness that I write to let you know how ASD unfriendly I found some aspects......"

I am off for now to immerse myself in aspieness and gain some respect back for myself.... would love to hear your views if any of you attended or similar experiences at other conferences....
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"Believe in your self, we are who we are - as it can feel like an endless task trying to be someone else!" Alyson Bradley ... Aspergers Parallel Planet web site - http://asplanet.info/index.php