Hey, how are ya?

MrEGuy · Butterfly Joined: Sep 18, 2008 Posts: 11

Hello. I'm new. Please applaud for a thoughtful length of time and then cease in an even, controlled manner suggesting respect for my need to continue. . . . Thank you.

About me:

Aspie, undiagnosed but prototypical if there ever was one. How so? Let's review the evidence as I understand it at this time...

1. The odds of AS rise with the age of the father. The age of my dad at time of conception: 58.

2. AS runs in families. My brother, two years older than me, also seems very aspie-y. His son likewise displays strong signs of aspie-ness. My maternal grandfather showed signs.

3.A. My signs in childhood were classic. Poor social skills through elementary and middle school; lots of report cards with notes like "Many smart children have a hard time socializing" and the like. I was the classic dinosaur-obsessed kid, having read Bakker (if you were a dinosaur freak in the 80s, Bakker was your personal Jesus) thoroughly by age 8. Dinosaurs gave way to computers. Computers never gave way to anything else.

3.B. My brother's signs read "Cars" from day one. This was a kid who could rattle off the year, make and model of a car just looking at a single part. Oddly, during his 20s and his race car driving / building phase, this made him an incredibly good cheat, because he knew how to machine illegal parts so they would tech properly under inspection. Never say being an aspie doesn't have its upside.

4. To this day (he's 32, I'm 30), our mom still makes a point of reminding us to make sure we take breaks and not run ourselves ragged when we're working.

5. At age 30, I still could care less how others feel. As far as I'm concerned, empathy is a racket to keep losers from starving themselves out of the gene pool. If you need further proof, consider that the modern canine is a fully evolved empathy machine who largely fills his belly by suckering primates into tossing some food his way each day. The same applies for 98% of all neurotypical humans.

6. I am self-employed as a database programmer in a part of the country rural enough that I am the one and only person who plies this trade for three counties in every direction.

7. Over the course of my life I have never settled into a relationship that meant anything to me. Besides the obvious value, such as not being called a faggot by the hill people I call my neighbors, I can't see much value in any possible future relationships either. That said, sex rocks for me, but only if there is some edge to it.

8.A. I have no addictions. No lasting interest in even pot, booze or cigarettes.

8.B. My brother is the king of chain smokers and has been since age 9 (hey, I said we're hillbillies). I have long been convinced this is the secret of his marginally better success with neurotypicals. Although, I think that success has come at the cost of never really understanding them. He's badly underpaid and underemployed despite being smarter than any mechanic I have ever know.

9. Despite all my social retardation, I have a good handle on how neurotypicals operate. Doing business with my clients has made me an absolute pro. I am to the point where I feel a bit bad about how far I can take it, because I could easily convince every client I am their best friend on the entire planet in no time flat. Since becoming a first order psychopath was never my goal, I tend to throttle this back a bit once people start inviting me to, well, every goddamn thing they do.

10. Despite my obvious ability to fashion top-dead-center perfect social skills, I could give a sh** less if I ever made another friend ever again between now and when I die. I'm not opposed to making friends, but I refuse to engage in the neurotypical's one true religion: acquiring friends solely for the purpose of having them.

So, that's me.

Hello and good-bye for now.