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Bataar
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 19, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 163
Location: Seattle, WA
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 Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:25 am Post subject: What to do when interests aren't conducive to meeting women? |
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| I'm 29, almost 30 and just recently diagnosed with Asperger's. All these years I thought I was just odd/weird/pathetic/you name it. Anyways, like I said, I'm 29, I've never had a girlfriend and have only been on 5 dates my whole life. I'm socially awkward per se, but I'm not shy. Anyways, I think the biggest problem I have is that my interests aren't conducive to meeting women. I love playing strategy/war board games with my few friends. I love going to movies or just watching DVDs at my place. I enjoy playing video games and love fishing. Pretty much anything I do, I do by myself (other than playing board games) so needless to say, I don't go out much. It's frustrating to feel like I have no viable way to meet women. I mean the odds of someone having a flat tire in front of my house and coming to knock on my door for assistance are slim indeed. |
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wanderer
Emu Egg
Joined: Sep 19, 2008
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:51 am Post subject: |
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Hi Bataar, how about meeting women on internet, chatting or dating sites?
Also you might meet someone on sites about video games or other intrests you might have, girls who have the same intrest as you. Or on forums for autistic people, there must be some women on there too! |
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lotusblossom
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 14, 2008
Posts: 461
Location: UK
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:17 am Post subject: |
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yep, go for dating sites. Its our only hope lol
I am in the same position as my interests are solitary ones and though I might like someone to talk about them with, I certainly would not want to to do my interests with anyone.
I think having a similar personality is more important than interests anyway. OKcupid matches on personality and seems really good, but be honest in the questions, dont just give socially desirable answers.
good luck  |
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Everchanging
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 03, 2007
Posts: 308
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 6:53 am Post subject: |
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Who says you have to share your interests with a potential partner? Find some neutral interests that you think might get you further. Music is usually a good one.
_________________
"How come when it's us, it's an abortion, and when it's a chicken, it's an omelette?"
- George Carlin |
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Saffy
Sea Gull
Joined: Sep 15, 2008
Posts: 230
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 7:52 am Post subject: |
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female gamers DO exist.. I'm one of them I have been playing wow for over three years in my evenings, up until recently I was running a hardcore raiding guild. My daughter plays games and also plays MMOs. I have a husband, she has a boyfriend - female gamers are out there.. so gaming is definitely an interest that a number of females enjoy.
Movies are great for sharing an evening followed by a coffee, a drink , or preceded by dinner.. just ask someone to join you that you would like to get to know and take it from there. |
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RogueProcess
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jun 22, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 190
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 12:10 pm Post subject: |
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| Everchanging wrote: | | Who says you have to share your interests with a potential partner? Find some neutral interests that you think might get you further. Music is usually a good one. |
What you say is true, but I don't think this has so much to do with actually being at the stage where you HAVE any potential partners. I think what was meant was that his interests mean that he doesn't even meet any women, let alone find any that he would like to take things further with.
I'm kinda in the same situation myself, studying for an HND in sound production, of which I don't think there's one girl on the entire course! |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 1:14 pm Post subject: |
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| Saffy wrote: | | female gamers DO exist.. I'm one of them I have been playing wow for over three years in my evenings, up until recently I was running a hardcore raiding guild. My daughter plays games and also plays MMOs. I have a husband, she has a boyfriend - female gamers are out there.. so gaming is definitely an interest that a number of females enjoy. |
To quote JohnHopkins: "On the internet, the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents."
| Quote: | | Movies are great for sharing an evening followed by a coffee, a drink , or preceded by dinner.. just ask someone to join you that you would like to get to know and take it from there. |
That sounds so cliche, though. I feel like if I'm going to try and date someone, I'd want to make it original, and thus, more memorable... |
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Bataar
Snowy Owl
Joined: Sep 19, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 163
Location: Seattle, WA
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 3:12 pm Post subject: |
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| Saffy wrote: | female gamers DO exist.. I'm one of them I have been playing wow for over three years in my evenings, up until recently I was running a hardcore raiding guild. My daughter plays games and also plays MMOs. I have a husband, she has a boyfriend - female gamers are out there.. so gaming is definitely an interest that a number of females enjoy.
Movies are great for sharing an evening followed by a coffee, a drink , or preceded by dinner.. just ask someone to join you that you would like to get to know and take it from there. |
That's the problem though. Currently, there is no one I'd like to get to know better. Where I work, there are no women. When I go play boardgames, there are no women. When I go fishing, there are no women. It's kind of hard to meet women at a movie so I'm not sure what else to do there. And I haven't figured out how to even meet women while staying at home watching Lost or some other show/movie. |
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Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1259
Location: Cyber Control
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 3:50 pm Post subject: Re: What to do when interests aren't conducive to meeting wo |
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| You think you have it bad, Bataar? My situation is even worse. I've never had a girlfriend either. I have NOBODY to play games with, and my favorite video game genre happens to be first-person shooters. Now, how many women do you suppose are into that? There are few, but they're very rare. Plus, I never play online either... I'm more comfortable playing against an AI-controlled monster than an actual human, LOL. |
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SPCDavid
Raven
Joined: Sep 09, 2008
Posts: 115
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:06 pm Post subject: |
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Just pick one thing you don't normally do. For instance, dancing lessons; I took square dancing lessons and the place was full of females (and very few guys), I was a terrible dancer and they were almost fighting over who was gonna help me out. If square dancing doesn't work for you, try yoga, or maybe doing some volunteer work.
I'm not interested in any of those things either, but if you want a woman in your life, you'll have to make the investment because as you've pointed out, there's nothing you're already doing that helps you meet them. |
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Saffy
Sea Gull
Joined: Sep 15, 2008
Posts: 230
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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Cyberman- are you working or studying or something else ? What about joining a gamers club and starting to play online ( yes I know you said you do not play online lol ) and branching out to counterstrike ? Or just taking the plunge and taking up a new and more social interest ? You seem like an intelligent and very nice guy to me from your posts  |
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Saffy
Sea Gull
Joined: Sep 15, 2008
Posts: 230
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:18 pm Post subject: |
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| SPCDavid wrote: | Just pick one thing you don't normally do. For instance, dancing lessons; I took square dancing lessons and the place was full of females (and very few guys), I was a terrible dancer and they were almost fighting over who was gonna help me out. If square dancing doesn't work for you, try yoga, or maybe doing some volunteer work.
I'm not interested in any of those things either, but if you want a woman in your life, you'll have to make the investment because as you've pointed out, there's nothing you're already doing that helps you meet them. |
QFT |
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Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1259
Location: Cyber Control
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Unfortunately, I'm too honest to fake an interest like that. It would become too obvious that I was only taking dance lessons to pick up women. |
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Diamond_Head
Blue Jay
Joined: Jul 01, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 78
Location: Kauai, Hawaii *Li`uli`u wale ka nohona i ka la o Hauola*
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 4:32 pm Post subject: |
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| Try something low-stress that still has some potential. Take a book you like to a Starbucks popular with college kids or near any university, and just chill out on one of the couches for an hour or two and read. If you see someone that looks attractive to you and they aren't conversing with anyone else, strike up a conversation. If not, all you've lost is an hour or two of chilling time, during which you still did something enjoyable. Either way, a pretty low stress situation. A kid I know met his most recent girlfriend this way. |
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Saffy
Sea Gull
Joined: Sep 15, 2008
Posts: 230
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 5:00 pm Post subject: |
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I've always found it more difficult to talk to people I do not know unless there is a common interest to talk about - which is why joining something makes it easier, then you always have a conversational topic to fall back on. Maybe learning a new language ?
Taking a cooking class ( now there is a good way to meet women ) everyone has to eat! Take a tour of something local that you do not know much about, a local historical home, or do a ghost tour.. .. there are so many things to do. One of the reasons people often have " holiday " romances is because they are doing things with people rather than just staying at home doing the same ole same ole.. I think you have to get out of your normal pattern of behaviour if what you are doing right now is not working for you. |
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