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Serissa
Ex-Moderator
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Joined: Jul 11, 2005
Posts: 4570
Location: A DEN OF INIQUITY!!!
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 Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:21 am Post subject: Love Doesn't Last- and Science PROVES It! |
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Original source of the article (which no longer links) Psychoneuroendocrinology
Last edited by Serissa on Sat Jan 14, 2006 10:06 am; edited 3 times in total |
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Remnant
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 02, 2005
Posts: 2019
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| Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:51 am Post subject: |
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| Them and their chemicals. Love is an energy, not a chemical. Real love keeps getting stronger. Depending on brain chemicals is like depending on drugs. |
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toddjh
Toucan
Joined: Nov 09, 2005
Posts: 277
Location: Champaign, IL, USA
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| Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 1:00 pm Post subject: |
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| Remnant wrote: | | Them and their chemicals. Love is an energy, not a chemical. Real love keeps getting stronger. Depending on brain chemicals is like depending on drugs. |
Love may get stronger, but passion doesn't. I challenge you to find anybody married for twenty years who still feels that sense of excitement about his/her spouse. I suspect the novelty and the heart-pounding giddiness associated with a new relationship are major factors in the high rate of infidelity. They were certainly factors in my wife's and my decision not to be strictly monogamous.
That's not meant to downplay the importance of love. Love is comfortable and stable and great, and makes billions of people happy every day. It's just not really that exciting after the rush wears off, and I have no problem believing the "rush" may be chemically induced. Reproduction is naturally one of the most critical functions we, as a species, perform, and so we shouldn't be surprised that we have evolved a highly complex set of physical and psychological reactions related to sex.
Jeremy
Last edited by toddjh on Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:12 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Serissa
Ex-Moderator
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Location: A DEN OF INIQUITY!!!
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| Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:07 pm Post subject: |
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| toddjh wrote: | | Remnant wrote: | | Them and their chemicals. Love is an energy, not a chemical. Real love keeps getting stronger. Depending on brain chemicals is like depending on drugs. |
Love may get stronger, but passion doesn't. I challenge you to find anybody married for twenty years who still feels that sense of excitement about his/her spouse. I suspect the novelty and the heart-pounding giddiness associated with a new relationship are major factors in the high rate of infidelity. They were certainly factors in my wife and my decision not to be strictly monogamous.
That's not meant to downplay the importance of love. Love is comfortable and stable and great, and makes billions of people happy every day. It's just not really that exciting after the rush wears off, and I have no problem believing the "rush" may be chemically induced. Reproduction is naturally one of the most critical functions we, as a species, perform, and so we shouldn't surprised that we have evolved a highly complex set of physical and psychological reactions related to sex.
Jeremy |
I just wish more people knew that that "spark/passion" baloney dies after aabout a year so that when it happened, they didn't think something was wrong, and were like: "Oh, OK, I guess this is the next stage. This person is still great, I still enjoy spending time with them, I still care about them deeply, I just no longer get arrythmia in their presence. It's cool." |
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toddjh
Toucan
Joined: Nov 09, 2005
Posts: 277
Location: Champaign, IL, USA
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| Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 6:19 pm Post subject: |
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| Serissa wrote: | | I just wish more people knew that that "spark/passion" baloney dies after aabout a year so that when it happened, they didn't think something was wrong, and were like: "Oh, OK, I guess this is the next stage. This person is still great, I still enjoy spending time with them, I still care about them deeply, I just no longer get arrythmia in their presence. It's cool." |
I think part of it is ignorance, but part of it is willful ignorance. How many people would be happy knowing that the excitement is going to peter out after a while, and it's possible they'll never get to experience it again in their lives? So they cling to the fantasy that it's supposed to last forever which, as you point out, only makes people feel bitter and guilty when it does go away.
Sometimes I wonder if things like this might be a little clearer to aspies, since our knowledge of relationships tends to be more intellectual than intuitive.
Jeremy |
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ilikedragons
Lady Dragon
Joined: Oct 13, 2004
Posts: 1471
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| Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:03 pm Post subject: |
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| I think it was on good morning America. |
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