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SteelMaiden
Electromagnet pointed towards the computer.
Joined: Aug 20, 2006
Age: 19
Posts: 1655
Location: Londinium
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 Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 1:34 pm Post subject: I should have been born male. |
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I am female, 18 years old.
Ever since arond the time I turned 12, I've become more and more like a man.
I once looked at a table saying "female characteristics" and "male characteristics". I didn't qualify for a single "female characteristic", but I got all but one of the "male characteristics".
I dress like a man, I get along better with men than women in terms of friendships (because I have more in common with men than women), I even sit like a man apparently.
Put me in a group of typical 18 year old girls and I stick out very obviously as being starkly different in appearance, emotion, conversation topics etc.
Put me in a group of typical 18 year old males and I stick out less and am more likely to share conversation topics.
I hate woman-ly things like women's clothes (I always go to the men's department) and the way that my body is made (with woman-ly curves and bits if you understand).
I would be happier to be male. I hate being female.
Is anyone else like this?
Additional: is this anything to do with my AS or am I just odd?
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Diagnosed AS and appear to be continuously fighting the illness in my mind. |
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CyclopsSummers
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jun 22, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 152
Location: Mokum, the Netherlands
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 1:51 pm Post subject: |
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Looking at your post, I would say you're androgynous (though leaning heavily toward the male aspect) and transsexual. Don't worry if it appears as though "female characteristics" are a rule set in stone or anything, because they aren't.
Transsexuality and Asperger's syndrome aren't tied together, but quite a bunch of posters here have expressed that they are either androgynous or care little for the 'distinctions' and the patterns that are made between the sexes. Don't hate being female, though; there IS a certain expectation society ties to how men/women are 'supposed to' behave, but don't pay heed to that, you should be fine. Sure, you won't be running with the pack, but, as you know, that's overrated anyway.
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Clarity of thought before rashness of action. |
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2ukenkerl
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Posts: 4860
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 2:03 pm Post subject: |
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WOW, what a thing to say. I pictured you as more feminine than you indicate in that post.
More and more women ARE moving towards clothes that are closer to mens.
I wish more women saw men more like they can be, and like some are, as opposed to a southpark type view.
Frankly, I never got along with males at school until after highschool.
As for the way you describe your curves, etc... you sound feminine to me. 
As for whether this is AS, etc??? Well, I think I have anhedonia, and it seems many with AS do. I DO get enjoyment from learning something worthwhile, but it seems that so many other things are just devoid of it. If YOU had the same problem, you might not really enjoy being a woman, and seeing men experience what you aren't might make you feel THAT is the problem.
Some women are just SHALLOW(Even if they think they aren't), and your interests and special abilities tend to be more common with men that aren't. That means you could have an overly bad view of women, and an overly good one of men.
BTW I hope everyone realizes I am talking about only SOME women! |
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SteelMaiden
Electromagnet pointed towards the computer.
Joined: Aug 20, 2006
Age: 19
Posts: 1655
Location: Londinium
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 2:37 pm Post subject: |
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Thanks for the replies, they have helped a lot.
My Mother often says I should be a man.
I also do weightlifting/strength-building, which far less women do than men. I also have bulky thigh muscles, which my Mother says is "not feminine" (but I don't give a sh*t about being feminine!). I have been said to be very strong for a girl of my size. I love kickboxing and I have got into physical fights before, and that's not the "cat fights" that are typically associated with feminine women, its the full-blown punching and wrestling to the ground.
I think I am mentally male, and physically woman, but part man in the way my muscles are built.
Interesting.
Your posts are all very informative.
_________________
Diagnosed AS and appear to be continuously fighting the illness in my mind. |
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PunkyKat
Phoenix
Joined: May 15, 2008
Posts: 696
Location: Twlight Zone
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 2:47 pm Post subject: |
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| I know what you mean. When I was younger I always wanted to be a boy instead of a girl. Manily because my mother would force me to wear dresses and girly cloathing. I was always told I needed to be more feminine. Girls would gasp about how I didn't mind getting dirty. I never played with dolls or had any desire too. I LOVED to go outside and look for insects. I was not scared by touching worms or bugs. It's not so bad as an adlut because my parents can't tell me what to wear anymore. I just can't relate to other women and their problems. I've always related better to men. I never wear woman's cloating but then I wear what would be considered gender nutral cloathing. |
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UndercoverAlien
to fast to alien
Joined: Aug 11, 2008
Posts: 1072
Location: please tell me
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 2:57 pm Post subject: |
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ow so thats why your name is steelmaiden lol xD
you do know that men have womenhormones and womens have men hormones means that if you live like a man (like sporting and eating the right stuff) that you become more manly and hairy and if you act like a girl eating things with femine hormones in it and be lazy then you actualy act more girly so acctualy whe all have both sexes in us if you do kickbocks then youll body probbely will grow more muscelary wich is good acctualy because your still in your grow so acctualy as evolution goes its meant for women to not do on sports even how wierd it sounds or atleast not so much i think if you'd quit sporting (expecialy kickboxing that made you most menly) then youll grow more female |
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sirtlan
Butterfly
Joined: Aug 07, 2007
Posts: 16
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 3:27 pm Post subject: |
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| Sounds like you could be a female-to-male transsexual (ftm for short). If that's the case, it would probably have little or nothing to do with AS. There are plenty of websites and forums out there about transexuality, transgenderism, genderqueers, etc. You might want to look into it? |
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2ukenkerl
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Posts: 4860
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 3:43 pm Post subject: |
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| SteelMaiden wrote: | Thanks for the replies, they have helped a lot.
My Mother often says I should be a man.
I also do weightlifting/strength-building, which far less women do than men. I also have bulky thigh muscles, which my Mother says is "not feminine" (but I don't give a sh*t about being feminine!). I have been said to be very strong for a girl of my size. I love kickboxing and I have got into physical fights before, and that's not the "cat fights" that are typically associated with feminine women, its the full-blown punching and wrestling to the ground.
I think I am mentally male, and physically woman, but part man in the way my muscles are built.
Interesting.
Your posts are all very informative. |
Well, more and more women are fighting like that also. And, unless you are taking steroids, you probably still look feminine even if you are strong. But you are LIGHT! At least according to your profile. Like 86 pounds!?!? WOW! |
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2ukenkerl
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Posts: 4860
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 3:59 pm Post subject: |
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| UndercoverAlien wrote: | ow so thats why your name is steelmaiden lol xD
you do know that men have womenhormones and womens have men hormones means that if you live like a man (like sporting and eating the right stuff) that you become more manly and hairy and if you act like a girl eating things with femine hormones in it and be lazy then you actualy act more girly so acctualy whe all have both sexes in us if you do kickbocks then youll body probbely will grow more muscelary wich is good acctualy because your still in your grow so acctualy as evolution goes its meant for women to not do on sports even how wierd it sounds or atleast not so much i think if you'd quit sporting (expecialy kickboxing that made you most menly) then youll grow more female |
Although exercise CAN slightly increase testosterone, women don't have nearly as much testosterone as men do. And men don't have nearly as much estrogen as women. Heck, look at http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/08/22/news/22testosterone.php . They tried to make womens bodies react like mens, naturally, and they DIDN'T! BESIDES, taking too much testosterone will cause women to have other problems. The only one I will say in this topic is not have a child.
It is overly simplistic to think that lifestyle drives all this, because a sedintary woman can STILL look feminine, and a sedintary man can STILL look masculine. And ovaries ARE very different from testicles even if they are connected in the same place, and developed from the same tissue. |
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Jellybean
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 21, 2007
Posts: 537
Location: On a cloud floating above Loughborough
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 4:50 pm Post subject: |
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I have a similar issue, however I wouldn't go as far to say that either of us are transsexuals. Although this isn't true for all femail Aspies, a lot of us have more male interests or dress in male clothes. I watch boy's cartoons, wear boys clothes and even act like a boy but I have a MAJOR crush on Hugh Laurie (only when he is playing House!) so I know I am a girl! Yeah, I know he's like 40 years older than me...
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I am a Tourettey, Aspie obsessive compulsive! |
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philosopherBoi
Phoenix
Joined: Aug 07, 2008
Age: 20
Posts: 1019
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 5:20 pm Post subject: |
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| Your not odd in least bit, however it has nothing to do with AS. Some people are born into the wrong body it happens and maybe you were too, they can correct it for a price. If you ever need to talk let me know k ^_^. |
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Kauf039
Toucan
Joined: May 17, 2008
Age: 23
Posts: 255
Location: ON, Canada
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:41 pm Post subject: |
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I also wear male/androgynous clothing, don't have "female" intrests and never did. There were times when I thought that I was born the incorrect gender and a. I have realized however I have always been comfortable as I am (and quite like it) just not as others expect me to be. For myself, it is all just stupid expectations from people who expect all others to be a certain way.
(Not to mention, if I were male I would have to give up my boobies... I'd rather not do that  )
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Humm, guess I should put something witty here, huh? |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3458
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:45 pm Post subject: |
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What's your sexuality? are you sexually attracted to males or females? That's an important point that you didn't mention.
I noticed too that you are showing your msn address on your profile , females usually hide them . |
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Amitiel
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Sep 14, 2008
Posts: 57
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:48 pm Post subject: |
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I hope this doesn't upset or offend, but I thought you were a male,
bit dumb of me really, considering your name.
Anyway, you are one of my more favourite posters. Your posts have substance. |
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iceb
Tarkalean hawk
Joined: Apr 27, 2007
Posts: 1344
Location: The Liberator flight deck
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 6:57 pm Post subject: |
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Well SteelMaden,
I think it is much easer for for people who like us have had to learn to both read and show body language in a way NT's do not to adjust it to change gender.
I am trangender male to female and I have to say for me it has brought me very much happiness.
You are the only person who can make the decision to take the trangender road which can be long, slow and anything but easy.
Feel free to PM me if you want to discuss or have questions I might be able to answer.
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Wisdom must be gathered, it cannot be given.
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