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Kelsi
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2007
Posts: 643
Location: Australia
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 Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 8:54 pm Post subject: Workplace Bullying |
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Sure, us Aspies often have problems in the workplace. But from reading all the posts here, and from my own life experiences, I believe that our most significant problem is that we are frequently targetted by workplace bullies. Why? - because we are more likely to have a strong sense of integrity, to be direct and honest, to be professional in our interactions with others in the workplace, to be competent or rapidly developing competency, to have a very strong set of values, to be highly ethical, etc, etc, etc. Focusing on our Aspie traits and difficulties negotiating the NT world, prevents us from identifying bullying behaviour - particularly the very subtle and insidious forms, and from holding these bullies accountable for their actions.
To any of you who are experiencing problems in the workplace - by all means learn NT social skills so that you can understand NTs and blend in if you must, but also do some research into workplace bullying:
http://www.kickbully.com
http://www.bullyoffline.org
http://www.bullyinginstitute.org
http://www.beyondbullying.co.nz |
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Fnord
Metasyntactic Variable
Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 3658
Location: Pantopia
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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It's sad that all I have to do is show up for work on time, do what I'm expected to do, and do it with fewer mistakes than others (which is fairly easy), and as a result, some of my co-workers see fit to try to bully, intimidate, or trick me into screwing up and getting fired. Either that, or they try to find some way to blame me for their own incompetence.
_________________
The leaders of the American automobile industry have been amazingly consistent in their management philosophy, in that they have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. |
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Kelsi
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2007
Posts: 643
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 10:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Hi Fnord. Yes it is sad. It is also ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS!!!! |
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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 3044
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| Posted: Sat Sep 20, 2008 11:28 pm Post subject: |
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| a bully is just a coward with muscles. Depending on the company, there can be consequences for bullying. Show up, do a better job, and stay on the bosses' good side. And make sure there's witnesses when they try things. Works for me. |
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 4:10 am Post subject: |
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people wAs will be sensed out by non AS.
we dont have the ability, or desire to connect with them and this alarms them.
please note that there is an underlying desire for nonAS to connect with others, to feel on the same wavelength as others and in time to be able to manipulate this connection.
so a simple chat about the weather is underpinned with non-AS inferences and probing to see where you are in the scheme of things.
With AS, there is less of this going on, the non-As get concerned and alarmed thet cant read you and tend to reject this inecplicable behaviour.
we do get bullied all our lives so often that we wont notice it.
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a great civilisation cannot be conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within- W. Durant |
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Kelsi
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2007
Posts: 643
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 7:19 am Post subject: |
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| donkey wrote: |
....we dont have the ability, or desire to connect with them and this alarms them.
....the non-As get concerned and alarmed thet cant read you and tend to reject this inecplicable behaviour.
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True. But not all non AS will engage in bullying behaviours as a result of that. There is NO excuse for abuse. |
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2008 8:31 am Post subject: |
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ok ok......i guess the point is if we CAN understand the non-AS motivation to perceived bullying, then perhaps we as AS and AS advisors can help to curtail over reacting to it.
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a great civilisation cannot be conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within- W. Durant |
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Kelsi
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2007
Posts: 643
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sat Sep 27, 2008 1:02 am Post subject: |
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Well personally, I don't give a damn what motivates the bullies. All I know is that it is totally unacceptable, inexcusable, cruel, appalling, intolerable behaviour.
As for curtailing over reactions - well, we can do that without bothering about bullies' motivations. We all know that we don't have to 'go postal' 
This website: http://www.kickbully.com gives loads of tips for how to handle bullies. |
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CockneyRebel
Sid The Love Rat is a Sweet Pea :O)
Joined: Jul 18, 2004
Age: 34
Posts: 21088
Location: Out in the evening, with me two best Rat Mates :O)
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:45 am Post subject: |
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I volunteer at a soup kitchen filled with queen bees and back stabbers. They don't seem to have any feelings, and they're very lazy listeners. I especially can't stand the youngest one who goes there with her mother, who's 19 years old and has an attitude problem. I do enjoy the work, though. I enjoy the food prep, and the dish washing. I also like the food that we serve to the poor and homeless. I guess that most mainstream people don't just grow up, after graduating from high school. I've found out that they keep the same vicious attitude, their whole entire lives. I would never listen half heartedly to a person who speaks with an accent different from my own, or the North American one that I hear, everywhere. I know what it feels like, when even grown women do that to me.
_________________
Sid The Rat is everything that I stand for. We're both large, proud Punkers with Cockney accents. We both have the same issues, as well. I don't see anything wrong, with that. I was put on this planet, to make myself happy. Sid :O) |
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Space
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1680
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 2:16 pm Post subject: |
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| I was really bullied badly by a boss a few years ago... it really messed me up at the time and I couldn't stand up for myself because I didn't know what to do. I f***ing hate that guy... |
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caramateo
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Sep 19, 2007
Posts: 189
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 3:28 pm Post subject: |
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| CockneyRebel wrote: | | I guess that most mainstream people don't just grow up, after graduating from high school. I've found out that they keep the same vicious attitude, their whole entire lives. |
I agree, I think it has something to do with their IQ level.
I've observed that even people with college degrees can be very dumb. |
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Kelsi
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2007
Posts: 643
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 6:36 pm Post subject: |
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I think it has more to do with just being a nasty person. If you want some tips on how to handle a workplace bully, read the 'Field Guide' on this website:
http://www.kickbully.com |
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Space
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 03, 2006
Age: 25
Posts: 1680
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| Posted: Tue Sep 30, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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| caramateo wrote: | | CockneyRebel wrote: | | I guess that most mainstream people don't just grow up, after graduating from high school. I've found out that they keep the same vicious attitude, their whole entire lives. |
I agree, I think it has something to do with their IQ level.
I've observed that even people with college degrees can be very dumb. |
This is true. I am in university and it's full of morons (professors included, and they have PhD's) |
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Kelsi
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2007
Posts: 643
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 5:14 am Post subject: |
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If you happen to live in the USA, here is a website where you can get some good advice about workplace bullying legal issues:
www.undercoverlawyer.com |
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Kelsi
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 23, 2007
Posts: 643
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 7:04 pm Post subject: |
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Score: 1 to Aspie, 0 to bullying NT co-worker 
I am being targetted by two of my co-workers, and I am fighting it. Now one of them is leaving
One down - one to go!  |
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