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stripey
Snowy Owl
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Joined: Jul 07, 2006
Posts: 155
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 Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:19 am Post subject: Do You Feel Invisible |
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I feel invisible most of the time and i am 6ft and 16 stone.
When i am at the bar to get served i am often overlooked.
When i walk along the street people walk towards me and make no effort to move out the way.
When i am at work i am overlooked for promotion e.t.c.
Is it just me. |
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tweety_fan
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 03, 2007
Posts: 1506
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:24 am Post subject: |
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| i feel that way too sometimes, i am 6 foot as well. |
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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 19, 2008
Posts: 1762
Location: US, midmap
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:27 am Post subject: |
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Stripey, at work maybe you should try to get noticed. You should let them know it's about time you got promoted or a raise or whatever.
Unfortunately, I don't share this. I get noticed all the time. People watch me constantly. I really wish they would lay off. I get the impression they consider me to be in a constant state of irritation and they try to keep me calm, lol. Really, I'm not that bad! |
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patternist
Stirring the pot....
Joined: Jul 29, 2008
Age: 35
Posts: 1833
Location: wouldn't you like to know?
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:31 am Post subject: |
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I went through a stage like this. It is a haunting feeling. It motivates one to hunt for attention, which usually merits undesirable attention.
I suspect it will probably pass without much ado. |
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hale_bopp
Ruffle some Feathers
Joined: Nov 03, 2004
Age: 23
Posts: 6318
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:33 am Post subject: |
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| Sometimes I feel invisible. :s |
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ducasse
Velociraptor
Joined: Jun 10, 2008
Age: 29
Posts: 436
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:43 am Post subject: |
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| i only feel invisible when i'm trying to order a pint, but sometimes i feel inaudible as people talk right over me apparently without even noticing i've said something. i don't think i even speak that quietly. |
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MemberSix
Phoenix
Joined: Dec 10, 2007
Posts: 540
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 8:49 am Post subject: Re: Do You Feel Invisible |
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| stripey wrote: | I feel invisible most of the time and i am 6ft and 16 stone.
When i am at the bar to get served i am often overlooked.
When i walk along the street people walk towards me and make no effort to move out the way.
When i am at work i am overlooked for promotion e.t.c.
Is it just me. |
If you want people to get out of the way on the sidewalk, look down at their feet - that way, they're forced to take evasive action since they presume that if you haven't seen them, you won't take evasive action. Eye contact is mutual acknowledgement that you've seen one another.
Works a treat - and the worst case scenario is that you were just being dozey.
At the bar, just shout GARCON !
At work, start being really bossy - you know, start managing people .... just not your boss. |
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:11 pm Post subject: |
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it is a usefull skill to have to be AS, 6 foot and "invisible"
i wouldnt try to change it.
but it is an interesting observation.
when you look at photos of As, usually men with AS you notice what i call a "lack of intent" there is avoidance of eye gaze/contact.
little or no attempt to smile or "interact" with the camera.
this lack of intent is perceived by non-AS as a non communicative facial exprssion.
they caanot read , or decipher it, so in a busy area like a bar they scan faces and without realising it, ignore you.
i dont htink it is deliberate, it is non-AS human nature, remember they are making an attempt to make a connection with others, it is what non-AS do, it is a distuinguishing feature of AS versus non-AS.
no connection , or receipt of "connection" facial expression they blank you and move on.
it does feel like we are invisible but it can be explained and understood, and, once identified we can adapt.
_________________
a great civilisation cannot be conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within- W. Durant |
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Fnord
Metasyntactic Variable
Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 3658
Location: Pantopia
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:16 pm Post subject: |
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6' and 16 stone as well; and yes, I do often feel socially 'invisible.'
The only cure is to show some bling and/or cold hard cash, then it seems that everyone wants to be my friend.
_________________
The leaders of the American automobile industry have been amazingly consistent in their management philosophy, in that they have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. |
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ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo
Phoenix
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Joined: Jun 19, 2008
Posts: 1762
Location: US, midmap
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 12:56 pm Post subject: |
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I would NEVER waste my money trying to buy people's friendships. You are much, MUCH better off putting that money away and saving it for yourself.
Spending money on the wrong people is a big mistake! |
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HD3H
The Lord and Master... Nemesis of DeLoreanDude
Joined: Sep 23, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 2886
Location: Denmark
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 2:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Sometimes i feel like nobody sees me. but usally i just make sure they do. |
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Fnord
Metasyntactic Variable
Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 3658
Location: Pantopia
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 3:22 pm Post subject: |
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| ooOoOoOAnaOoOoOoo wrote: | | I would NEVER waste my money trying to buy people's friendships. You are much, MUCH better off putting that money away and saving it for yourself. Spending money on the wrong people is a big mistake! |
Oh, I quite agree! Note that I used the word 'flash' and not 'spend' in my post. This is because I learned something from my dating days; that if a woman leads a man on with the promise of sex, she can get his money. So I turned it around and found that a man can just as easily lead a woman on with the promise of money in order to have sex with her. This is not an absolute rule, but it works more often than not!
_________________
The leaders of the American automobile industry have been amazingly consistent in their management philosophy, in that they have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. |
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ChristinaCSB
Toucan
Joined: Jul 23, 2007
Age: 23
Posts: 263
Location: Lakewood, Ohio
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 3:31 pm Post subject: |
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| Yeah hardly anybody wants to f*cking talking to me. |
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Since
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 30, 2007
Posts: 138
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 3:51 pm Post subject: |
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| I kind of feel the opposite, just this paranoid notion that everybody's intently taking stock. You know, "This will all go on the report" style. It's a problem. |
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claire333
Huh?
Joined: Jun 20, 2008
Posts: 1893
Location: Lost in my own little world.
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| Posted: Wed Sep 24, 2008 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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I am invisible. No one can see me. I am on the other side of the glass...an observer. 
_________________
On with the show...This is it. |
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