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Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1259
Location: Cyber Control
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 Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 6:40 pm Post subject: "Someone For Everyone": Wisdom or BS? |
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I'm just curious as to why so many people say "There's someone out there for everyone" like it's some kind of great wisdom or law of nature, yet they fail to provide any evidence for it. Not only that, but it also contradicts another popular phrase in our culture: "Nice guys finish last." Well, if you believe that nice guys finish last, then logically, you cannot believe that there's "someone for everyone," right? Because nice guys are part of "everyone."
So my question is: if you do believe that there truly is someone out there for everyone, what evidence do you have for believing that? |
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crackedpleasures
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 14, 2007
Posts: 1777
Location: In between the bright lights and the far unlit unknown, CZ
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:10 pm Post subject: |
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I have no evidence, but I believe in it. I cannot believe nobody in such an overpopulated world is really unfit to be loved by anyone. I have no evidence to back my claim, but I strongly believe anyone can find love.
_________________
You did it again, yes, you in the mirror
You put your faith in a cruel world...
All my dead friends come to haunt, harm and hinder
Never letting go, here to drag me down to hell
(London After Midnight) |
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Fnord
Metasyntactic Variable
Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 3658
Location: Pantopia
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:16 pm Post subject: |
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Any two reasonable strangers can share resources and living quarters - and maybe even enjoy bumping uglies with each other occassionally. Then again, it's like that old Annie Lennox song...
"Everybody's looking for something.
Some of them want to use you.
Some of them want to get used by you.
Some of them want to abuse you.
Some of them want to be abused."
If you're willing to put up with someone else's BS, and they're willing to put up with yours, then you have a relationship. Not the best kind perhaps, but a relationship nonetheless!
_________________
The leaders of the American automobile industry have been amazingly consistent in their management philosophy, in that they have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. |
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Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1259
Location: Cyber Control
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:34 pm Post subject: |
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| I was under the impression that it meant you could tolerate each other's BS forever, which is difficult even for families. So yes, there are plenty of potential failed relationships, but lasting ones? I doubt there are many. If it weren't for my parents' relationship, I might not even believe that such relationships existed. |
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aeroz
Deinonychus
Joined: Nov 16, 2007
Age: 22
Posts: 323
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:44 pm Post subject: |
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Is there someone for everyone? Probably, doesn't mean you will find that person.
Actually even then, unless there is exactly as many guys as girls (not even close) it isn't even possible.
Now you cant prove or disprove it, but I can prove that there are lots of people that live and die never knowing love. Because it has happened... seems to be mostly aspies at that |
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Fnord
Metasyntactic Variable
Joined: May 07, 2008
Posts: 3658
Location: Pantopia
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 7:54 pm Post subject: |
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Myabe you'll never find the perfect companion, but you'll find an abundance of people that are "good enough" ... maybe not Ms. Right but Ms. Right-Now.
_________________
The leaders of the American automobile industry have been amazingly consistent in their management philosophy, in that they have never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. |
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Postperson
The Daughter of Indifference
Joined: Jul 10, 2004
Age: 51
Posts: 2904
Location: Uz
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 8:01 pm Post subject: |
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| I think its a feel good statement meant to reassure. I don't think there's someone for everyone, I think it's like god says in the bible, some I choose to be single, some I choose to be married...or something like that. |
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pbcoll
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 15, 2007
Posts: 1799
Location: England
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 8:34 pm Post subject: |
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I'm with Fnord and Cyberman. Most people prefer anything (other than being with a 'weirdo', a category that includes most aspies) to being alone, so they just find someone they can tolerate and that can tolerate them, and often not even that hence the divorce rate. Sure, in a world of billions there probably exist a few people you could really click with (and the billions argument is the only argument the people that say there's someone for everyone actually have)- but if they're a few among billions you are very unlikely to ever come across them at all, much less get to know them. Most people never have a soulmate, and a person who is your soulmate now might not be in a few years (because people do change with time, an we don't live in a fairy tale).
Like Fnord quotes:
| Quote: | Everybody's looking for something.
Some of them want to use you.
Some of them want to get used by you.
Some of them want to abuse you.
Some of them want to be abused. |
_________________
I neither take revenge, nor beg for favours. (Rabindranath Tagore)
I am the steppenwolf that never learned to dance. (Sedaka) |
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KenM
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 16, 2005
Age: 40
Posts: 627
Location: Mass. USA
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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I used to think that there was someone for everyone. But now I think its total BS.
_________________
There is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of armageeddon I shall not compromise in this.
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LILI
Blue Jay
Joined: May 12, 2008
Posts: 94
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| Posted: Thu Sep 25, 2008 11:04 pm Post subject: |
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BS!
After years of being single, I am now thinking that I ll simply become a good old crazy cat lady. |
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AutisticMalcontent
Toucan
Joined: May 30, 2008
Age: 21
Posts: 250
Location: In the annoying and painful realm of reality :P
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| Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 12:03 am Post subject: |
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| I do believe there is someone for everyone, but that the likelihood of meeting such a person is very slim. I think in the end we settle for less than we wanted romantically, because it is better to have some semblance of love than to live your life alone. Nice guys do finish last, unless they are charismatic or unless there is a nice girl who is into nice guys. I think the only time where nice guys will be appreciated is later in life, say 25 years and up. I have heard of accounts of guys being up into their late thirties and still lonely and without love. There is no such idea as a "soulmate" or a "perfect mate", to be honest, in the same manner you could be attracted and fall in love with one woman, you could have fallen in love with a different woman just as easily. The sickening irony is that we look for the perfect mate, and there is no perfect mate. But I believe that compatibility wise, there is a guy for every girl and a girl for every guy, although the liklihood of it occuring is rather slim, as I have previously stated. |
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Belfast
Vast Ambivalence
Joined: Jul 18, 2005
Age: 35
Posts: 1716
Location: New England
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| Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 9:41 am Post subject: |
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Am trying to remind myself that the word is "some", rather than "all" or "none".
As in, I keep feeling extreme-that "everyone" dislikes me & that "no one" will ever be interested in, attracted to, me.
Or that I'll never find someone to whom I'm attracted or have interest in.
Yet, logically, it seems more likely that "some" people will like me & I will like "some" people.
It's incredibly difficult for me to retain/maintain these moderate (rather than all-or-nothing) thought patterns.
As I put it in post on other forum:
| Belfast wrote: | Basic & obvious as these concepts sound/seem, I'm struggling to keep in mind:
"some" is not the same as "all", nor "none'
"some" counts, even though it's neither "all" nor "none".
As in: there are some people who do (or would) like me-and I do (or would) like some people.
Fact that all people don't like me doesn't mean there's nobody who likes me.
Fact that I don't like all people doesn't mean I don't like anybody.
Black & white, all-or-nothing thinking, is significant obstacle I frequently stumble over. |
Then there's problem of getting "whoever I am" together with "whomever I might be mutually compatible with". My anxieties interfere with meeting new people, then I fall back into my insecurities about self, even though the few people who know me (and like me a lot) tell me that there really are others out there who would like me, if only there were opportunity for us to become acquainted.
Back to my longer post on this from other forum:
| Belfast wrote: | On some level I know better-still get hung up on (snagged by) unproductive thoughts, caught in circle/cycle of at least three rotating bases of rumination (obsessive, depressing fixations).
It's triple-headed hydra, in that as soon as one section/aspect is handled, addressed, dealt with (which is only temporary reprieve)-another one comes up & attacks me, and pretty soon the next one. Then the original one roars back to life & I'm in full-fledged panic, besieged on all fronts at once.
The 3 interacting (and revolving/switching, in turn) variables are:
1. Self.
2. Other person.
3. Connecting 1 & 2.
1. Feeling poorly about own physical exterior depiction & mental interior reflection, how others perceive me & whether or to what degree they "like" me. Fear of rejection.
2. Feeling dubious about being interested in & attracted to another person (mind & body-not just one or the other), worried there's no one out there that I would genuinely "like". Fear of rejecting.
3. Feeling hopeless as to possible methods to get self and "some unknown person" to cross paths, be in same place at same time-let alone, communicate & get to know each other (recognize each other as people who might mutually enjoy interfacing). |
Apologize for how long this comment is, but needed to 'get it all out' in one place.
Can't answer definitively if there is "someone for everyone"-can only try not to lose hope, and consider it to be possible (which of course doesn't relieve/comfort, while one is "uncoupled").
_________________
*"You cannot administer a wicked law impartially-it destroys everyone it touches, its violators as well as its upholders."* |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 10:28 am Post subject: |
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| The fact that not everyone wants someone (as in asexuals) means that the OP's statement is BS... |
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LePetitPrince
Feminist activist O_o
Joined: Mar 03, 2006
Age: 26
Posts: 3458
Location: Beirut , Lebanon
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| Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 1:13 pm Post subject: |
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| It's not true, many people die single and even virgin. |
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HD3H
The Lord and Master... Nemesis of DeLoreanDude
Joined: Sep 23, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 2886
Location: Denmark
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| Posted: Fri Sep 26, 2008 1:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Maybe there is someone for everyone |
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