Managing Fundamental Differences in Outlook and Values

NeantHumain · Posted: Sun Sep 28, 2008 3:23 am Post subject:

In general, I subscribe to the notion of live and let live; that is, I try not to be overly concerned with getting people to share my views and instead just absorb and reflect on the differences in thought, opinion, and attitude. Sometimes, however, conflict occurs because the gap is fundamental and I'm in situations (e.g., work) where repeated interaction is required. How do you guys manage this?

For example, a manager or supervisor might emphasize the importance of perceptions and a professional "image" above all else. His overall outlook may be overly judgmental and simplistic: He may discuss at lunch, for example, his dislike of his neighbors' children while seemingly acknowledging the parents are raising their children somewhat negligently (I dislike this attitude because it results in the marginalization, from a young age, of people whose problems, if they are indeed problems, are mostly the result of others). Another aspect of the outlook I dislike is the assumption that traditions, policies, etc. are inherently right and best (I consider pretty much all things questionable even if they may be workable or useful in practice); the notion that there may be cases where they produce a poor outcome or may even be wrong does not seem to register for him. Another coworker might come across as overly materialistic and also just a little bit difficult to work with (often likes to rudely/derisively cut people off when he feels they're wasting his time, likes to quasi-jokingly boast about how good he is or how right he must be); obviously his core values are different as well. Another coworker might a conservative Christian, but they're generally not much of a problem if they're not proselytizing (which most workplaces forbid). Another coworker might be totally absorbed by popular culture's by-products and aesthetic experience and thus scarcely ever says anything interesting.

My solution so far has been to feign minimal interest and not be overtly hostile. If the guy's my boss, I can't openly tell him I think he's an idiot for who he is. In the immediate future, I will not be getting a new job. In the grand scheme of things, you'll always deal with people you don't get along with quite as well anyway.