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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
Joined: Feb 05, 2008
Age: 26
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 Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 12:40 pm Post subject: What is it with Aspies When Confronted? |
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Not saying or stating all of them are like this but online there's seems to be a number of them who take things on such a personal level that instead of confronting their target they make a bunch of boards about them.
I realize in the internet world nothing is secret but to some degree, I don't understand it. I've had number of members who aren't AS confront me about stuff I might have said or what was on their mind.
Are we more passive aggressive or two-faced than NTs as a majority when it comes to conflicts? If so why?
I too have this problem but am working on it. I hope this question doesn't pose as an insult to all ppl on the autism spectrum for that is not the intention.
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Fidget
Supporting Member
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Age: 18
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Location: IL, USA
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| Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:05 pm Post subject: |
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| Hmm..... well, when someone does something to spite me, I can't get it out of my head. I keep replaying what they did over and over, and it becomes all I can think about and the more I think about it the more furious I get. I think I annoy people at times bitching and moaning about all my problems, but I feel like if I don't talk about it I'll explode most times. The exception to this is if someone does something, and I feel I got my revenge by something I say or did back to them right away. Then I'm satisfied and it doesn't bother me. This is childish I know, but it's just how I am. |
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computerlove
emos and goths, please die.
Joined: Jul 11, 2006
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Location: Male, Mexico, Graphic Design
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| Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:21 pm Post subject: Re: What is it with Aspies When Confronted? |
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| MissConstrue wrote: | | I've had number of members who aren't AS confront me about stuff I might have said or what was on their mind. |
about what missC?
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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
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| Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:29 pm Post subject: |
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Oh I've had many.
Not into forum fights since this is a support site.
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computerlove
emos and goths, please die.
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| Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:38 pm Post subject: |
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many? WTH
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Oggleleus
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: Jun 03, 2008
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| Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:49 pm Post subject: |
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I think that is what some Aspies do. Meaning, instead of direct confrontation, some Aspies chose to voice their dissatisfaction with another indirectly by saying something to someone else and hoping that the word gets around. I think the sense of having others come to your defense may be behind some of this especially for someone that does not have or feels like they do not have anyone defending them.
I am guilty of doing this myself in the past and think it happens mostly when I feel that I have been wronged by someone else. But NTs do this also. It could be the difference between a confrontation based on a perceived personal attack vs. a confrontation based on a belief.
It also could be a response to what Fidget is saying. I too have a hard problem thinking about other things when someone wrongs me and maybe the use of a 3rd party to vent or communicate is a method to get the brain to move along to something else.
We are told not to "wear our emotions on our sleeve" and that may translate into being a little more passive than usual when a direct line is more apt.
Good question.
Now I'm going to start 5 discussions about passive/aggressiveness with different catchy titles. Just Kidding. |
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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
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| Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 1:55 pm Post subject: |
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Makes more sense to me since I'm no good with wearing my emotions on my sleeves and can never tell if I am percieving that person as angry or not. When I do, I freak out espeacially if I don't know what it's about.
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Tim_Tex
WP's Resident Simpsons and South Park Aficionado
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| Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 3:07 pm Post subject: |
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I try to confront them in a calm and collected way whenever possible.
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Yupa
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| Posted: Wed Oct 01, 2008 8:29 pm Post subject: |
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Well, I'm really avoidant of direct conflict, so when I have a problem with someone, I'll mention it to someone else when they're not around, which, when the person I have a problem with hears about it, generally leads to me being accused of being two-faced.
I mean, I guess that is two-faced behaviour, but if someone bothers me in any way, I'm not going to tell them directly because I really really don't want any fights or arguments.
Of course my two-facedness also causes people to say I'm "nice", but that's just because I'm never mean or bitchy to them directly, aside from jokingly. |
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animal
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:35 am Post subject: |
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| According to my psychologist, aspies can be pretty stubborn when confronted, and will often refuse to admit any mistake on their part, regardless of how obviously wrong they are. I can't remember exactly what reason he gave for it; I think it has something to do with having difficulty processing verbal information and having a quite onetrack mind. |
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Fidget
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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| animal wrote: | | According to my psychologist, aspies can be pretty stubborn when confronted, and will often refuse to admit any mistake on their part, regardless of how obviously wrong they are. |
I have that problem. I almost never admit when I'm wrong, even if I know I was. |
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MissConstrue
~Age of Aquarius~
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| Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:36 pm Post subject: |
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^I have that too. I only started to realize this problem when I had members in my anger management class bring this error up with me. I was pissed b/c I'm usually right but seeing it from another perspective helped me understand hypocrisy better. 
I'm wondering if aspies tend to take things to such a literal level that it's hard to even see one's own fault in such a discourse that wasn't a discourse to begin with.
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Magnus
Phoenix
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| Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 6:46 pm Post subject: |
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It does sound petty and manipulative. I guess aspies and NT's aren't so different. Whenever someone says something so broad that is finger pointing in nature, I can't help but think it's directed at me because I'm so used to getting in trouble. Feels like school again.
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Warsie
OG Balla Representin' Da Souf Sydeeee of Chi-City
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
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Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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| Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 8:04 pm Post subject: Re: What is it with Aspies When Confronted? |
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| MissConstrue wrote: | Not saying or stating all of them are like this but online there's seems to be a number of them who take things on such a personal level that instead of confronting their target they make a bunch of boards about them.
I realize in the internet world nothing is secret but to some degree. |
lol....internet vendetta. Given it's an internet war it's more possible they aren't NTs but there's plenty of NTs on the internet doing the same internet wars as we do 
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Warsie
OG Balla Representin' Da Souf Sydeeee of Chi-City
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Age: 17
Posts: 1634
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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| Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2008 8:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Fidget wrote: | | The exception to this is if someone does something, and I feel I got my revenge by something I say or did back to them right away. Then I'm satisfied and it doesn't bother me. This is childish I know, but it's just how I am. |
it's not childish; it's logical balance to prevent him from winning or taking more....
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9/11 was an inside job
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