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Catster2
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 25, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 488
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 Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:07 am Post subject: Incident with Aunt |
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My two cats were fighting and not getting along so my aunt offered to take my older cat Ginger in and look after him. However she said at the time I am not paying for his food, cat litter, vets bills, medication etc. I said thats ok I will pay for it or bring food over to her house. However I dont have a car so it is difficult to get around there very often, my aunt had gone and bought some dried food and cat milk as Ginger had apparently run out she told me I owed her 14$. My parents say that if you offer to look after a cat you pay for the food as it is only a couple of dollars anyway (possibly not the vet bills). I told my aunt that it is a rediculous situation we are in at the moment with me either having to lug food, cat litter etc (she lives about 1.5 hours by train away) or being asked for money all the time especially as I hardly see Ginger anymore and my aunt loves him. She got very angry and said either my parents pay for the food and bring it over or I pay or bring it over and then hung up on me and was clearly angry. I was very upset afterwards in tears as I feel I did nothing wrong simply stating how I feel it is stupid to quibble over a couple of dollars or force me to take it all the time. To make matters worse my gran who my aunt lives with is on her side acting like I have done something wrong.
Last edited by Catster2 on Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:04 am; edited 2 times in total |
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ShadesOfMe
Kivatesavam The Pink Bunnay!
Joined: Jul 01, 2004
Age: 17
Posts: 16103
Location: California....or the cuteness place with One-winged-angel
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:11 am Post subject: |
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I'm sorry this is happening to you. I think you and your aunt should split the cost. You having to lug things around makes no sense at all either.
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Catster2
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 25, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 488
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:14 am Post subject: |
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| ShadesOfMe wrote: | | I'm sorry this is happening to you. I think you and your aunt should split the cost. You having to lug things around makes no sense at all either. |
totally agree especially over a couple of dollars I am happy to pay for vets bills if need be as they are an expense but dont like every little thing being added up all the time. |
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:04 am Post subject: Re: Incident with Aunt |
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| Catster2 wrote: | | My two cats were fighting and not getting along so my aunt offered to take my older cat Ginger in and look after him. However she said at the time I am not paying for his food, cat litter, vets bills, medication etc. I said thats ok I will pay for it or bring food over to her house. However I dont have a car so it is difficult to get around there very often, my aunt had gone and bought some dried food and cat milk as Ginger had apparently run out she told me I owed her 14$. My parents say that if you offer to look after a cat you pay for the food as it is only a couple of dollars anyway (possibly not the vet bills). I told my aunt that it is a rediculous situation we are in at the moment with me either having to lug food, cat litter etc (she lives about 1.5 hours by train away) or being asked for money all the time especially as I hardly see Ginger anymore and my aunt loves him. She got very angry and said either my parents pay for the food and bring it over or I pay or bring it over and then hung up on me and was clearly angry. I was very upset afterwards as I feel I did nothing wrong simply stating how I feel it is stupid to quibble over a couple of dollars or force me to take it all the time. |
when you aunt offers to take the cat...but insists and makes clear what your obligations are then....you kinda have to do what she says.....but.
she may be being sneaky here , offering to take the cat without any financial responsibility but with all the companionship and friendship a cat can offer.
i would ask for the cat back....they will fight and learn to get along and ignore each other.
you need to place a value on your time to travel to your aunts, and the amount of stress it is causing you.
let the cats fight, they eventually work out a hierachy that stabilises. cats usually fight newcomers. and multi cat households always have this problem but it is self limiting. ( i am a Vet).
hope this helps.
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Catster2
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 25, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 488
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:08 am Post subject: Re: Incident with Aunt |
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| donkey wrote: | | Catster2 wrote: | | My two cats were fighting and not getting along so my aunt offered to take my older cat Ginger in and look after him. However she said at the time I am not paying for his food, cat litter, vets bills, medication etc. I said thats ok I will pay for it or bring food over to her house. However I dont have a car so it is difficult to get around there very often, my aunt had gone and bought some dried food and cat milk as Ginger had apparently run out she told me I owed her 14$. My parents say that if you offer to look after a cat you pay for the food as it is only a couple of dollars anyway (possibly not the vet bills). I told my aunt that it is a rediculous situation we are in at the moment with me either having to lug food, cat litter etc (she lives about 1.5 hours by train away) or being asked for money all the time especially as I hardly see Ginger anymore and my aunt loves him. She got very angry and said either my parents pay for the food and bring it over or I pay or bring it over and then hung up on me and was clearly angry. I was very upset afterwards as I feel I did nothing wrong simply stating how I feel it is stupid to quibble over a couple of dollars or force me to take it all the time. |
when you aunt offers to take the cat...but insists and makes clear what your obligations are then....you kinda have to do what she says.....but.
she may be being sneaky here , offering to take the cat without any financial responsibility but with all the companionship and friendship a cat can offer.
i would ask for the cat back....they will fight and learn to get along and ignore each other.
you need to place a value on your time to travel to your aunts, and the amount of stress it is causing you.
let the cats fight, they eventually work out a hierachy that stabilises. cats usually fight newcomers. and multi cat households always have this problem but it is self limiting. ( i am a Vet).
hope this helps. |
It does feel exactly like you are saying she loves him and his companionship yet pays nothing and expects me to yet in the current situation I get very little companionship. I would have left them together but they were peeing and spraying everywhere, yelling and patrolling it was unworkable. |
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Mage
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 11, 2006
Posts: 839
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:08 am Post subject: |
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| Bring the cat back home and try to use something like Feliway to keep them from fighting. |
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LostInSpace
Queen of the Gargoyles
Joined: Apr 17, 2007
Age: 24
Posts: 2127
Location: New York
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:42 am Post subject: |
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Well, given that she said originally that she wouldn't pay for food, I don't think it is out of line for her to ask for money for cat food. Cat food is *not* only a couple of dollars, unless you are buying a very small amount of it. I could easily spend fourteen dollars on cat food which would last me at most a month (I have 2 cats though). If you doubt what she spent however, you could ask her to mail you the receipt before you mail the money, although that would be tantamount to saying you don't trust her. I would hope she wouldn't be out to cheat you however, as she is your aunt, so why not assume she has bought a month or two of food and send her the money? Now, if she asks for the same amount again in 2 weeks, I would be suspicious. When you gave her the cat, you *did* agree to pay for its food. So from her point of view, *you* are the one being unreasonable and welching on the deal.
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DevonB
Toucan
Joined: Mar 14, 2008
Age: 40
Posts: 262
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 12:24 pm Post subject: |
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I agree, you did agree to the terms she set out. However, it does sound awfully cheap.
As to the cats, spraying? It sounds like they aren't fixed. You need to neuter/spay your cats. That will resolve alot of issue. Further, you should keep them in separate rooms until they are calmer before introducing them.
If you don't like paying the money, then put an ad up to offer your cat up for free to a good home. That way you are rid of the cat, don't have to pay, and your aunt is out of the picture. Simple.
It isnt' anything to stress over unless you make it into something. |
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RubieRoze
Sea Gull
Joined: Aug 13, 2008
Posts: 242
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 12:33 pm Post subject: |
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Could you simply send her an agreed-on amount every month, with unexpected expenses (like vet bills) being reimbursed later, after the cost is determined?
Yeah, your aunt may be taking total advantage of the situation, seeing how she enjoys the cat and all, but you did admit agreeing to the arrangement. 
Maybe the whole issue can be revisited later, as tensions seem to be quite high right now.
I hope it works out, especially for Ginger. Hugs.
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Catster2
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 25, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 488
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| Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:14 am Post subject: |
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| Yes I did "agree" to it but being an aspie it was without realising the wider ramifications at the time. The cats were fighting badly, I was mega stressed and it seemed like a solution to it but now it has blown up big time. |
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