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willybeamish
Butterfly
Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 17
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 Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:08 pm Post subject: one tiny bit of advice i think most people here can utilize |
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| i think one thing everyone here seems to forget, or simply not realize, is HOW MUCH NT people dont give a sh**. ASPEC people fixate on these details and attempt to analyze things to the Nth degree, when to a regular person, these details are insignificant. they have a much larger perspective. this is what puts NTS off more than anything, people who are overly concerned with things. NTS are self centered, and thus the less you care about anything, the more they will like you, because being self centered is a sign of strength and upward social mobility. if you meet a girl you like, and act like you dont give a sh** if she catches fire or gives you the secks, shes infinitely more likely to get with you. makes you realize that its just not worth it unless you want shallow sex. try to realize this people. i see you all fixating and obsessing about things normal people would laugh at you condescendingly about if they knew you were. i stopped giving a sh** a long time ago, bingo, biitches wanna knock my junk around. just be aloof and dont care. thing is you have to have some sort of proximity for this to work with womens, something. if you are just some random dude, you have to have serious seduction skills to get ass off the bat, but numbers arent difficult. anyhow. im sure its been said before, but its true, and it could help. |
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Willard
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 24, 2008
Posts: 606
Location: Confederate States of America
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:29 pm Post subject: |
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I think I may agree with you, but your prose reads like an extra long text message and I'm not entirely sure I understand just what you're saying. In any case, If your point is that whiners and people who wear their hearts on their sleeves never get laid, you're right. So what? I don't think this so much an NT/Aspie issue as it is just growing up and gradually pulling your head out of your @ss...been there, done that - washed my hair, got on with my life...
_________________
"I don't mean to sound bitter, cynical or cruel - but I am, so that's how it comes out."
- Bill Hicks |
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willybeamish
Butterfly
Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 4:36 pm Post subject: |
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| there are lots of ways to put it, but i meant to put it in a specific context. aspec people fixate on issues insignificant to normal people. fixating on something normal people view as inconsequential is the A #1 way to get a girl to go the other direction. |
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Biogeek
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: Aug 29, 2008
Posts: 52
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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>> just be aloof and dont care<<
I've devoted a lifetime to this. Hasn't worked for me. Then again, maybe it's different for females.
Happy junk-knocking! |
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Jenk
Deinonychus
Joined: Jul 02, 2008
Posts: 325
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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Oh dear.
Last edited by Jenk on Fri Oct 03, 2008 5:02 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Cyberman
Cyber Lieutenant
Joined: Apr 25, 2008
Posts: 1259
Location: Cyber Control
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 6:34 pm Post subject: |
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| Um, what's the point of being with someone if they "don't give a sh**" about you? Why not just visit a brothel or something? |
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willybeamish
Butterfly
Joined: Oct 01, 2008
Posts: 17
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 6:51 pm Post subject: |
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being aloof isnt the only answser, then there is no in, its just about fixation really. we place more important and value on the interactions we have, because by definition value is directly related to commonality. if you only have one girl who talks to you, its a bfd, but when girls have 300 guys talking to them, you are 300 times less important to her than she is to you. obviously all people are not equal, but you get the gist. therefore fixating on the little things that transpire between you 2 is a way to get girls to leave, they want dudes that dont. i know, i get tons of girls if i want, its because i stopped caring if i did or not, truly. its not a game i play and now i have compromised my values, just a fact.
whats the point? thats up to you, but its just how it is. show me a man and woman in a relationship where the woman has given everything to the man, holds nothing back...............yeah, only with mother and son. its not even kosher to honestly talk about female priorities or mentality anymore, but the fact is women put themselves first, if they didnt our species wouldnt have survived. this is just fact, but no ones wants to see it. accepting this changes things for the better, because its true. women will argue with you until they are blue in the face to convince you its not so, so dont even bother bringing it up to one, its pointless. |
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JWRed
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 01, 2007
Age: 37
Posts: 327
Location: Malibu, California
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 9:58 pm Post subject: |
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OP is 100% correct. Concentrate on yourself and put yourself ahead of anyone else at all times.
This DOESN'T mean being a jerk. |
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ToadOfSteel
Extremist Moderate
Joined: Sep 24, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2819
Location: New Jersey
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| JWRed wrote: | OP is 100% correct. Concentrate on yourself and put yourself ahead of anyone else at all times.
This DOESN'T mean being a jerk. |
That's an issue that conflicts with my personal beliefs. I just don't put myself first in most situations. Some may call that altruism, but I call it maintaining a sense of ethics. |
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Saffy
Sea Gull
Joined: Sep 15, 2008
Posts: 230
Location: New Zealand
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| Posted: Thu Oct 02, 2008 11:19 pm Post subject: |
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| OP is not correct ( from an NT perspective ) .. nor are we self centred thanks very much. |
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JWRed
Deinonychus
Joined: Dec 01, 2007
Age: 37
Posts: 327
Location: Malibu, California
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| Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 11:53 am Post subject: |
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Women like men who are confident.
Women like men that are funny.
Women like men that are athletic.
Try and undestand. INITIALLY, your feelings about her MEAN NOTHING (i.e. thinking that she is a great girl, special, smart, or whatever)
After she f*cks you, then she will care about you paying attention to her, how you feel about her, buying her flowers, etc. |
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hon
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Sep 17, 2008
Posts: 25
Location: UK
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| Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:44 pm Post subject: |
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| Saffy wrote: | | nor are we self centred thanks very much. |
i certainly agree on this..NT are not self centered at all... |
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makuranososhi
Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Joined: May 13, 2008
Posts: 2256
Location: Arizona
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| Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 12:49 pm Post subject: |
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| JWRed wrote: | Women like men who are confident.
Women like men that are funny.
Women like men that are athletic.
Try and undestand. INITIALLY, your feelings about her MEAN NOTHING (i.e. thinking that she is a great girl, special, smart, or whatever)
After she f*cks you, then she will care about you paying attention to her, how you feel about her, buying her flowers, etc. |
*shakes head* Could not disagree more. ^
Do not agree with the whole of the OP, but there are some nuggets of truth I found there. Within the spectrum, there is a tendency to over-analyze, coupled with the difficulty or inability to discern what data is relevant or important. There have been discussions over whether a girl is interested, or even loves someone here, on the basis of a single interaction. Not caring about things is not something I can condone or support... but learning to handle how you feel about things on your own is a good thing in its' own right. Again, the blanket assertions do nothing to help your case, because what you're suggesting simply is not universal.
M.
_________________
He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts.
From my heart and from my hand, why don't people understand my intentions...?
Why choose a lesser evil? Vote Cthulhu 2008! |
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yesplease
Velociraptor
Joined: Dec 29, 2006
Age: 102
Posts: 434
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| Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 1:33 pm Post subject: |
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| Being aloof only works if someone has already put in the requisite effort to appear attractive or just happen to be attractive, and they can pick up on non-verbal language. The tendency of those on the spectrum to fixate on small things probably arises from the inability to pick up/understand non-verbal language, which can, ideally speaking, be studied, although in practice like the OP stated this fixation isn't exactly productive, probably because we need more information in general about a person to come to any accurate conclusions, and this tends to come from interaction/non-verbal communication, which we tend to not pick up. |
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lotusblossom
Velociraptor
Joined: Jan 14, 2008
Posts: 461
Location: UK
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| Posted: Fri Oct 03, 2008 2:39 pm Post subject: |
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Of course some NTs may laugh at aspies over analysing stuff and not think about these things themselves.
but that is because these social/dating gifts are intuitive to most NTs
where as aspergers means that we have to logically analyse to see the appropriate course of action.
Of course if the behaviour is intuitive and automatic, why would you navel gaze?
that is the precise difference between aspies and NTs
and I think it not appropriate to critisize asperger people for not being like NTs after all why would you get diagnosed if you were NT.
I would prefer not to be an ignorant jerk or sleep with one. |
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