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Souldragon
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 02, 2008
Posts: 31
Location: Maryland
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 Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:26 pm Post subject: How to overcome loneliness |
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I've been feeling alone for a while even though I have one good friend. I want to make more friends but I am too shy and have a hard time trying to find someone who shares my interests.
Anyone ever felt like that or are currently feeling like that? And how'd you over come it? |
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Velociraptor
Joined: May 30, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 484
Location: South Carolina, US
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| Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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I felt that way for a long time. My situation was and still sometimes is similar to yours. I have one good friend but I'm not good at making new friends.
Medication for anxiety and depression have helped but other things have helped more. I've made friends online which has helped me the most. Making friends online is a lot easier than making them in person. I usually don't feel lonely now because of the internet.
I also try to spend more time with people in real life but I can only take so much of that.
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BROOKE:]
"I've chosen concentration rather than conformity, imagination in place of mainstream social acceptance." |
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Velociraptor
Joined: May 30, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 484
Location: South Carolina, US
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| Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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Also I've noticed that it's easier to make friends with people who also have AS. Maybe you can join a support group.
_________________
BROOKE:]
"I've chosen concentration rather than conformity, imagination in place of mainstream social acceptance." |
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SierraBell
Velociraptor
Joined: Aug 24, 2007
Age: 16
Posts: 484
Location: My secret lair, or anywhere near animals, books, and macs
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| Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:44 pm Post subject: |
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I always feel lonely. However one of the ways I try to at least reduce it is talk with people online, but if I can't do that for some reason I'll try to talk to someone near by. It's a lot easier said then done though...socialzing for me takes A LOT of energy. 
I probably didn't say anything helpful, but I just wanted to make connection with you and tell that you're not alone. |
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886
Honking Antelope
Joined: Jan 16, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 3078
Location: valley of the damned
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| Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:48 pm Post subject: |
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Yeah, I feel like that.
I don't try to make new friends, though, I just work my job and then stay inside all day, unless I'm golfing or at the gym. Nonetheless, both relatively anti-social activities.
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If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing. |
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asplanet
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 11, 2007
Posts: 1866
Location: Cyberspace, New Zealand
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| Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 10:53 pm Post subject: |
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| SierraBell wrote: | | .socialzing for me takes A LOT of energy. |
I agree, I can only handle so much, I often feel I want more friends, but then get over whelmed, like them on my terms, in others words "can put them away and bring them out when please to" of course this does not work.
I often wondered what it was that leaves me feeling so lonely at times "the empty void" but with me have found my extremity of moods cause this and if I focus on things that I enjoy during these times, I can be very creative and happy in my own way.
Often expectations of others makes me feel alone, when what I think I want is not quite the case, as what the average person enjoys will never make me happy anyway.
I feel apart of the problem is that many of us grow up not knowing or understanding our true selves, until we do and know how to meet our own needs, we unintentionally try and fulfill that gap with what we perceive will make us happy, and often get it so wrong...
True identity, understanding oneself and acceptance makes heaps of difference.... but having a connection with real people is vital for me and I have found this on line, as I have more control over when 
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"Believe in your self, we are who we are - as it can feel like an endless task trying to be someone else!" Alyson Bradley ... Aspergers Parallel Planet web site - http://asplanet.info/index.php
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Zane
Deinonychus
Joined: Apr 13, 2008
Age: 22
Posts: 300
Location: Tempe, Arizona
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| Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 11:35 pm Post subject: |
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I first got used to the feeling.
Then i learned to really appreciate the times when i did not have "that" feeling.
And then i learned that it comes and it goes like a river it always flows.
also i began branching out into new scenes such as the Hip hop scene, the bar scene, the sports scene, the coffee shop scene, and eventually as soon as i moved out of the house and began my own life i slowly made more friends and associates...
then before i knew it all i had to do was go up to people and chat ...
it's all about balance. that and pets. i talked to my dog a lot and took him for walks.
oh and from personal experience try not to drink/toke alone that can become a very addictive escape ... as in it took me quite a few months and pay checks to figure that out 
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No one grows by sitting at home; so get up, get out, and get a life. |
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mikebw
kyubi no kitsune
Joined: Sep 28, 2007
Age: 30
Posts: 1239
Location: Florida
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| Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 2:42 am Post subject: |
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I've felt like that. It's not a feeling that stays with me very long though. If it's bothering me I rationalize things and it usually goes running for cover, it then waits a few months before sticking its ugly little head out again. I'm one of the lucky ones that doesn't feel lonely very often. I've almost always preferred being alone.
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The world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide. This has been so since antiquity. |
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Souldragon
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 02, 2008
Posts: 31
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 8:58 pm Post subject: |
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| It's amazing to find that some of you feel the same about using the interent to talk to people insetad of actually meeting them. I totally agree with the part about wasting so much energy trying to make friends. I AM trying to join a group i just heard about with people who has aspergers too. Any advice? |
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GodsWonder
Blue Jay
Joined: May 27, 2008
Age: 19
Posts: 75
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:01 pm Post subject: be happy |
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| Be happy that you have one friend, I wish I did but nobody seems to like me. I just want one frekin' friend and I would be content. I am feeling really lonely but soon I am just planning on giving up on trying to make friends because to me it seems impossible. |
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Synth
Deinonychus
Joined: Oct 04, 2008
Posts: 340
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 10:09 pm Post subject: |
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| I just accept the fact that I probably won't be able to keep one, don't take my advice though.. |
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Souldragon
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Oct 02, 2008
Posts: 31
Location: Maryland
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| Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 8:18 pm Post subject: |
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| I'm thankful for the one friend I have. Don't give up so easily and don't lose faith. |
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Social_Fantom
Unmasked
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Age: 24
Posts: 11696
Location: Dobson, North Carolina
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| Posted: Wed Oct 15, 2008 11:48 pm Post subject: |
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I stay lonely most of the time. But honestly, I have no interest in the people around me at college. I require more maturity in a person than what most of the people in college today have. Not that I don't like people that are in touch with their inner child or like to have fun, I just prefer the company of those who are at least mature enough to have some kind of meaningful intelligent conversation with.
I try to get out and do things to help overcome my loneliness like going for a walk. 
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Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.
-Confucius |
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