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KenM
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 16, 2005
Age: 40
Posts: 627
Location: Mass. USA
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 Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 8:48 pm Post subject: My catch 22 |
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I want a relationship . But I feel I have been mislead by women and all my other relationships have failed, I just know if I try again it won't work. At this point I will never have the type relationship I have always wanted.
I won't try and open myself up to hurt again, thats all I have known. I can't trust women and have no idea how to get the trust back.
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There is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of armageeddon I shall not compromise in this.
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pakled
"Bless his Heart"
Joined: Nov 13, 2007
Age: 51
Posts: 3044
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| Posted: Wed Oct 08, 2008 9:49 pm Post subject: |
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No you don't. Sorry to be that way, but each woman is different from the one before. You have a fresh chance to get it right. You can learn from what didn't work before. That's what dating is all about.
See what types of women work better than others. There's only 3 billion different kinds (give or take a few million), but first stop; what do you want from a woman in a relationship (besides that...
Admittedly, a lot of people make that mistake; to blame the next person for the previous person's mistakes. But give yourself another chance. |
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ValMikeSmith
Velociraptor
Joined: May 19, 2008
Posts: 488
Location: Stranger in a strange land
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:13 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I want a relationship . |
| Quote: | | ... the type relationship I have always wanted. |
The other person must also want the same kind of relationship.
The other person must want you as much as you want them.
And both people need to know that about each other.
If so, I think they can trust each other.
If not, I don't think they found what they are looking for yet. |
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Tohlagos
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 26, 2008
Age: 37
Posts: 954
Location: Boise, ID
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 12:56 am Post subject: Re: My catch 22 |
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| KenM wrote: |
I won't try and open myself up to hurt again, thats all I have known. I can't trust women and have no idea how to get the trust back. |
I know what it is like to being hurt and feeling like every relationship will always end up the same. One thing that helped me get past this point was making a woman just as a friend and nothing more -ever. Her whole role for me in my life from the start was friendship. I never expected or desired anything else from that. Now, one of the things that helped me from this was that I learned how to talk to women better and be more at ease around them. This in turn lead me to being able to read women better and sensing when I was being lied to. That in turn, helped me see early on if I went on a date if she was interested in me or something that she could gain from me. It also helped me "filter" through women and see if there was anything there in their personality that would click.
Did what I say make sense Ken?
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To fear change is meaningless, for change will still come regardless of one's personal desire. Remember your allies of hope, patience, and perseverance well, for they will standby you to the completion.
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KenM
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 16, 2005
Age: 40
Posts: 627
Location: Mass. USA
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:26 pm Post subject: |
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At this point I don't even want to bring a women friend into my life. I feel all women decive and play with guys emotions. its what they are trained to do. Like the Led Zep song says: Soul of a woman was created below.
_________________
There is good and there is evil, and evil must be punished. Even in the face of armageeddon I shall not compromise in this.
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Viddy
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 16, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 49
Location: Coleraine, Northern Ireland
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:29 pm Post subject: |
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| Relationships are just a series of failures until you come across one that doesn't. |
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zee
human wannabe
Joined: Jul 19, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1122
Location: backstage
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:32 pm Post subject: |
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| KenM wrote: | | I feel all women decive and play with guys emotions. its what they are trained to do. |
Then why would you want a relationship with one?
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Oh how I wish for soothing rain
Oh how I wish to dream again |
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KenM
Phoenix
Joined: Oct 16, 2005
Age: 40
Posts: 627
Location: Mass. USA
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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| zee wrote: | | KenM wrote: | | I feel all women decive and play with guys emotions. its what they are trained to do. |
Then why would you want a relationship with one? |
I don't now. I used to but all my exerence has been being lied to and deceived. I'm just finding it hard to accept that I will always be alone because God gave me AS and wants me to fail. |
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zee
human wannabe
Joined: Jul 19, 2007
Age: 28
Posts: 1122
Location: backstage
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:39 pm Post subject: |
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Why would God want you to fail? Have you ever talked to a counsellor about your feelings?
_________________
Oh how I wish for soothing rain
Oh how I wish to dream again |
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Viddy
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: Mar 16, 2006
Age: 23
Posts: 49
Location: Coleraine, Northern Ireland
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:41 pm Post subject: |
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Blaming it on 'God' or AS is an easy way out. There's no accountability then.
What if it's neither and it's a failing on your part or just a series of bad relationships?
As I said in another thread, you're just gonna have a series of bad relationships until you figure out what it is you need in a person or by pure fluke bump into someone that isn't going to mess you up.
You won't do that if you stop and blame it on something. |
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juliekitty
Phoenix
Joined: Jun 26, 2006
Posts: 1721
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:47 pm Post subject: |
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| KenM wrote: | | all my exerence has been being lied to and deceived. I'm just finding it hard to accept that I will always be alone because God gave me AS and wants me to fail. |
I'm becoming more and more convinced that selectivity is key. |
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Haliphron
Phoenix
Joined: Jan 29, 2008
Age: 27
Posts: 1006
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 9:54 pm Post subject: Re: My catch 22 |
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| KenM wrote: | I want a relationship . But I feel I have been mislead by women and all my other relationships have failed, I just know if I try again it won't work. At this point I will never have the type relationship I have always wanted.
I won't try and open myself up to hurt again, thats all I have known. I can't trust women and have no idea how to get the trust back. |
Join the club. Im totally serious, your feelings are not unknown. You really shouldnt ever truly trust ANYONE but yourself you know. People are basically selfish, and furthermore, their feelings often change and they cannot be relied upon. Now I dont mean to digress here but lately the people Ive met online correspond with me for a while and then f***ing DESERT me with no forewarning!  WHY do they all have to be so freakin FLakey?!? Maybe this is the wrong time to be focused on that, maybe the stars arent right or something.....  |
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ReeseLightnin
Hummingbird
Joined: Nov 28, 2006
Age: 32
Posts: 24
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| Posted: Thu Oct 09, 2008 10:43 pm Post subject: |
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| KenM wrote: | | zee wrote: | | KenM wrote: | | I feel all women decive and play with guys emotions. its what they are trained to do. |
Then why would you want a relationship with one? |
I don't now. |
Your first sentence of the thread is "I want a relationship." |
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Rack
Raven
Joined: Feb 19, 2008
Posts: 120
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| Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 2:38 am Post subject: |
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This isn't a catch-22 it's a dilemma. You want a relationship with a nice, open honest woman, but women by their nature's are capricious and deceitful. You almost certainly aren't going to get this perfect relationship with someone who isn't going to try and hurt you because so few of them are out there, you just have to decide if what you can get is worth it.
There is one thing you can do, if a woman considers you a catch she'll work harder on the relationship, if you increase your own standing by creating a better impression of wealth and working on your appearance and confidence, and/or go for less attractive women you can get something better. Just bear in mind this only works until you give some kind of commitment. |
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JohnHopkins
In no way offensive to anybody. Honest.
Joined: Nov 20, 2007
Age: 20
Posts: 2059
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| Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 10:52 am Post subject: |
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| KenM wrote: | | I feel all women decive and play with guys emotions. its what they are trained to do. |
You're wrong. |
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