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Greentea
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 Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 11:40 am Post subject: Easier to read Aspies' than NTs' nonverbal cues? |
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Do you find it easier to communicate with other Aspies than with NTs, in the sense of reading their nonverbal cues?
I was wondering if it's so hard for us to get nonverbal cues because our minds are so different from theirs (NTs, I mean) that we can't resort to our personal experience in order to figure how THEY are thinking / feeling.
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demoluca
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 11:57 am Post subject: |
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I don't know.
My brother is on the spectrum, and I can read him better then everyone in the family. I've never really met another aspie besides him.
But my brother and i read each-other so well that we don't need to talk about t=feelings, we just sort of know.
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ann2
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Joined: Mar 26, 2007
Age: 47
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 4:51 pm Post subject: |
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Well, it's cool with folk like us because we get a lot more time, I think. With the other folk, there's this instant decision based on something I usually have no clue about (but that doesn't stop me from trying to think what it might have been, for months or even years) and there's no way to talk about whatever it is. But then, there's no joy in talking to those people anyway. Still, it often seems like talking would help. But then, I don't think it ever does really, except online, as a way to express myself and not feel completely isolated after all.
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Mosse
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 4:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Aspies have nonverbal cues? o_O |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:02 pm Post subject: |
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Good question, mosse. I think we all do.
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Smitch
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Joined: Jul 23, 2008
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Location: Auckland, New Zealand
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:07 pm Post subject: |
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I do at least. People have always been able to read me like an open book. Just because I can't read the body language, doesn't mean I'm not giving it off it seems. What does confuse people however, is that becuase I don't realise what my body language is saying it's fairly 'pure' and unaltered and honest. People seem to keep looking for the underlying meaning and get really irritable when they realise that there IS no underlying meaning or underhandedness. I'm pretty much open and honest. And they call *me* the strange one...  |
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lotusblossom
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:27 pm Post subject: |
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I have certainly found that I find it easier to read aspie non verbal cues. I know what my kids want before other people and I know when they are getting upset or scared and generally what they are feeling. I know NT people do not read them as they tell me the kids are not feeling that when it happens.
I have also found that when watching children at AS groups I know why they are doing things that their parents say are irrational and when we were shown a diagnosis video in a workshop I could tell what the AS boys "irrational" behaviour was for.
I think this happens when you read the literature as well, as you read a patronising paper on AS people and you know the real reason behind the behaviour which is baffleing the psychologists.
I think we should make body language videos for NTs to watch so they can learn AS social skills. |
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Kelsi
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Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:35 pm Post subject: |
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| lotusblossom wrote: | | I think we should make body language videos for NTs to watch so they can learn AS social skills. |
Good idea lotusblossom. I know that I can understand and interpret the body language and non-verbal cues of my AS family members instinctively, whereas NTs cannot. Neurological Diversity awareness should work both ways, just as Cross Cultural awareness is expected to. |
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Tim_Tex
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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I am mostly good at interpreting body language, but I feel that everybody needs to be straightforward about everything.
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gwynfryn
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 5:49 pm Post subject: Re: Easier to read Aspies' than NTs' nonverbal cues? |
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| Greentea wrote: | Do you find it easier to communicate with other Aspies than with NTs, in the sense of reading their nonverbal cues?
I was wondering if it's so hard for us to get nonverbal cues because our minds are so different from theirs (NTs, I mean) that we can't resort to our personal experience in order to figure how THEY are thinking / feeling. |
You've summed it up! Normals are primitive; they can't deal with plain English! |
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Kaleido
On an extended tea break
Joined: Feb 19, 2007
Age: 50
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 6:24 pm Post subject: |
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I think it is harder to read our clues accurately because we sometimes don't have the correct eye contact, expressions and body language for what is going on inside of us. I have often been really pleased to see someone and looked away, the poor NT finds it hard to believe I was pleased to see them. 
Many times people seem to have misread me, though they were NTs. My friend says NTs are much easier to read but he finds his AS friends are a constant surprise to him ha ha |
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Reodor_Felgen
Counting down till Castro bites the dust
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Location: Aspies for Freedom
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| Posted: Sat Oct 11, 2008 6:38 pm Post subject: |
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I don't communicate well with other aspies either. Most NTs share the same emotional language--aspies don't.
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 1:51 pm Post subject: |
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Very interesting answers so far! Keep them coming!
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Rainstorm5
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 2:36 pm Post subject: |
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| demoluca wrote: | I don't know.
My brother is on the spectrum, and I can read him better then everyone in the family. I've never really met another aspie besides him.
But my brother and i read each-other so well that we don't need to talk about t=feelings, we just sort of know. |
Same here. My brother and my son are very easy for me to read. Maybe it's because they don't speak in abstract (non-literal) terms and don't rely on gestures and body language to convey meaning.
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tomboy4good
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:25 pm Post subject: |
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I think I have trouble reading pretty much everyone.
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