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Chimchar
Toucan
Joined: Feb 15, 2008
Age: 18
Posts: 269
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 Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:42 pm Post subject: I don't want to be an Aspie. I want that cure. |
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Everytime I see "The positive autism traits" I get sort of irritated. I don't mind having positive traits, but how is above average IQ, special interests and good memory going to help you in life? How is it going to help you get a job? How is it going to help you take care of yourself when you're 25? What the point of "special interests" if you can't master it? Why waste your time on something you'll never be good at? What I hate about interests are, you only get the knowledge of the subject not the skill, and they change erratically to something else. It's going to affect my choice in major.
I want people to talk to. I want friends. I want people to stop lkooking at me like I'm strange. I don't want to be strange, but normal. Because of my social naivety, I'll be an easy target for used car scams and sexual solicitations. I want to do things NT's do. I want to behave like them. It would be awesome if someone programmed my brain into a NT. And if I had kids, I don't want them to grow up and go through the same things I did.
I don't know about you, but I definitely want to be cured. I don't care if it changes who I am. I'd rather have cancer than autism. I want to grow up to be a competent adult, not a disabled outcast who won't get married or keep a job. I want to behave like an adult and I don't know how.
And to me, these positive traits are just there to raise an Aspies self-esteem. |
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Greentea
Bull in China Shop par Excellence!
Joined: Jun 15, 2007
Posts: 2528
Location: Middle East
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:47 pm Post subject: Re: I don't want to be an Aspie. I want that cure. |
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| Chimchar wrote: | | I'd rather have cancer than autism. |
Well, I thank God you don't.
I feel like you sometimes. You're right about part of what you say, but I think you overestimate the happiness of NTs. As you live on, you'll start seeing things here and there, and you'll probably conclude that they're not a lot happier than us.
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"It is the wounded oyster that mends its shell with pearl" - Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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Hector
Phoenix
Joined: Mar 11, 2008
Posts: 902
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:53 pm Post subject: |
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| Personally I'm not too bothered. I already feel more successful than most NTs my age since I'm about to finish college. Much of that might have to do with me just being kind of fortunate, but even hypothetically speaking I wouldn't want to change myself and risk losing the friends, interests and abilities I already have. I haven't thought too much about the "positive autism traits" when considering this, just what I think of myself. |
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tomboy4good
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 15, 2008
Posts: 628
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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I cant imagine my life without my quirks. There are some I'd rather not have, such as stimming. But my special interests are what keeps me afloat. Take that away, & my life would have absolutely no meaning at all.
If I could fix one thing in this world...it would be to encourage others to be less harsh in their judgements, & more tolerant towards others. After all, as humans we have more in common than we do have differences. We should celebrate both our similarities & our differences instead of trying to make everyone exist in one mold. Diversity is what makes our world go round.
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donkey
we have met the enemy, he is us.
Joined: May 22, 2006
Age: 37
Posts: 1478
Location: ireland
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 3:54 pm Post subject: Re: I don't want to be an Aspie. I want that cure. |
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| Chimchar wrote: | I don't know about you, but I definitely want to be cured. I don't care if it changes who I am. I'd rather have cancer than autism. I want to grow up to be a competent adult, not a disabled outcast who won't get married or keep a job. I want to behave like an adult and I don't know how.
And to me, these positive traits are just there to raise an Aspies self-esteem. |
yeah yoru right, it does raise AS self esteem.
but you have both identified and hidden simultaneously the biggest problem most AS will ever have.
They want to be normal.
they dont recognise that normal behaviour for AS is AS behaviour. They consider normal to be Nt normal.
they strive to be nt normal, always fail and get upset.
when i figured that out and just started being myself, the pain was there......it will always be there....it just doesnt hurt anymore.
you cant change what you are.
you can change how you respond to it.
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a great civilisation cannot be conquered from without until it has destroyed itself from within- W. Durant |
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DW_a_mom
Phoenix
Joined: Feb 23, 2008
Posts: 1251
Location: Northern California
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:11 pm Post subject: |
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Would it surprise you to know that most NT women your age don't want to be who they are, either? It is true. Young women, in general, lack a positive sense of self.
I might suggest your issue is more the pressures and unrealistic expectations put on young women in this world, than your AS.
My husband and father, I now believe, both are/were AS, and both went on to have careers, and families, and so forth. What you need is guidance, help channeling your skills, confidence that somewhere they can be applied well to earn money, without your sensory issues running all over you and making employment impossible. Yes, for some AS sensory issues and co-morbids make the idea of a good job an impossibility, and these should be cured if possible.
But what makes AS unique are the areas of brilliance. You must have them; I am sure you do; even if you haven't figured out what they are yet. And these areas of brilliance carry value in the work world. When you figure out how to offer them at the right time and place to the right person.
None of that is easy. But it isn't easy for ANYONE. OK, so the average AS can't really get a teen job at McDonald's. Do you really care? Should you? If you can make a stellar engineering career in Silicon Valley once you are older, you will happily forget that frustration.
I know it's difficult for AS to see how the doors can open down the road. That is something I've had to work hard with my husband on. He makes negative assumptions about possibilities that more often than not just aren't true. My son does that, too, but less often, since he's spent his whole life around me telling him the door can open if we find the right spot, and he's seen it happen often enough to believe. Find someone who can help you see the real life possibilities that your AS makes you blind to. They ARE there. Have faith, believe, and learn to be happy with who you are.
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2ukenkerl
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 20, 2007
Posts: 4860
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:21 pm Post subject: Re: I don't want to be an Aspie. I want that cure. |
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| Greentea wrote: | | Chimchar wrote: | | I'd rather have cancer than autism. |
Well, I thank God you don't.
I feel like you sometimes. You're right about part of what you say, but I think you overestimate the happiness of NTs. As you live on, you'll start seeing things here and there, and you'll probably conclude that they're not a lot happier than us. |
QFT!
BTW no matter what you guys think, I DO know a lot of the problems first hand. I'm HAPPY I got so involved with electronics. I am HAPPY it evolved into computers. I was in computers when most people considered it a hobby, and many idiots even thought it was a FAD!!!!! |
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Ishmael
Phoenix
Joined: Jul 08, 2008
Posts: 1170
Location: Australia
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:22 pm Post subject: |
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Woah, sorry, guy - what you say just strikes me as absolute weakness.
Boo friggin' hoo. You've got a few problems? Deal.
Think the chubby, bald, middle aged divorcée assistant manager wants to be that?
... Or how about those actually dying of cancer?
Talking about this "cure" crap like aspergers was some kind of disease... Stupid, that. Might as well talk about "curing" the English!
Just keep it together, and quit blaming all your problems on being Asperger!
Think the pommie kid visiting Sydney should just, overnight, change the fact he comes from a nation of legendary paleness? The kid'll just lather on 3 tubes of sunscreen and eat vegemite as though it were jam.
This wussing out attitude is weak. No such thing as perfect; you'll just exchange one set of problems for another! If you don't like how you are now, stop crying, man up, and consciously figure out a way to deal with it! No fairy god friggin' mother "cure" garbage is even possible, so man up! It's a huge slap in the face to everybody else if you just say, "right! I've had enough! Lads..."
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Oh, well, fancy that! Isn't that neat, eh? |
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Since
Snowy Owl
Joined: Jul 30, 2007
Posts: 138
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:25 pm Post subject: |
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| I find the AS bright sides a little forced (and false) too, but it's better to reconcile yourself with yourself than keep waiting for a cure which is never going to come (or at least, shows no sign of coming within a lifetime). |
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Jellybean
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 21, 2007
Posts: 537
Location: On a cloud floating above Loughborough
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:35 pm Post subject: |
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I don't know about a 'cure' and I definitely wouldn't want to wish cancer on anyone, especially myself (It is horrific disease) but I do understand what you are saying. I often find myself thinking (or saying) If I am so Gosh darned intelligent, why the hell can't I control my rage attacks/stimming etc. I would say it is best not to think like this though.
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I am a Tourettey, Aspie obsessive compulsive! |
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Warsie
OG Balla Representin' Da Souf Sydeeee of Chi-City
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 1634
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:36 pm Post subject: Re: I don't want to be an Aspie. I want that cure. |
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| Chimchar wrote: | | Everytime I see "The positive autism traits" I get sort of irritated. I don't mind having positive traits, but how is above average IQ, special interests and good memory going to help you in life? How is it going to help you get a job? |
erm...you're smarter and cando more complicated things, you have skills in a specialized field and you remember and dont mess up things in small details....
| Quote: | | How is it going to help you take care of yourself when you're 25? |
memory is good as it lets you know where you left your stuff at 
| Quote: | | you only get the knowledge of the subject not the skill, and they change erratically to something else. |
that depends on the person and the like...
| Quote: | | I want people to talk to. I want friends. |
there arre groups you can join with your interests you know...!!!
| Quote: | | Because of my social naivety, I'll be an easy target for used car scams and sexual solicitations. |
regardinf used cars, check the car yourself and dont fall for being forced into something/pressed due to time ("only a limited time" crap)
| Quote: |
I don't know about you, but I definitely want to be cured. I don't care if it changes who I am. I'd rather have cancer than autism. I want to grow up to be a competent adult, not a disabled outcast who won't get married or keep a job. I want to behave like an adult and I don't know how.
And to me, these positive traits are just there to raise an Aspies self-esteem. |
YOUR A SNITCH!! *insert saying about snitches and south side*
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I am a Star Wars Fan, Warsie here.
9/11 was an inside job
http://www.911truth.org/
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Warsie
OG Balla Representin' Da Souf Sydeeee of Chi-City
Joined: Apr 04, 2008
Age: 17
Posts: 1634
Location: Chicago, IL, USA
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:45 pm Post subject: |
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| Jellybean wrote: | | If I am so Gosh darned intelligent, why the hell can't I control my rage attacks/stimming etc. I would say it is best not to think like this though. |
"intelligence" has nothing to do with self-control or desires
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I am a Star Wars Fan, Warsie here.
9/11 was an inside job
http://www.911truth.org/
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demoluca
Phoenix
Joined: Nov 17, 2007
Posts: 581
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:48 pm Post subject: |
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I hope things get better for you, whichever path you take. 
Don't compare yourself to cancer, though. nothing is as horrible as cancer.
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patternist
Stirring the pot....
Joined: Jul 29, 2008
Age: 35
Posts: 1833
Location: wouldn't you like to know?
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:53 pm Post subject: |
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Ishmael wrote:
| Quote: | Woah, sorry, guy - what you say just strikes me as absolute weakness.
Boo friggin' hoo. You've got a few problems? Deal.
Think the chubby, bald, middle aged divorcée assistant manager wants to be that?
... Or how about those actually dying of cancer? |
I'm glad Ishmael said it so I didn't have to. I may be stepping out of line here as a non-diagnosed person....but it can't possibly help to fritter your life away wishing you were something you aren't. Play the hand you were dealt, and do it as gracefully as possible.
I understand if this is a weak moment, I have had those. But I truly hope you don't go around hating yourself and cursing your luck. |
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Jellybean
Phoenix
Joined: Apr 21, 2007
Posts: 537
Location: On a cloud floating above Loughborough
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| Posted: Sun Oct 12, 2008 4:57 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | "intelligence" has nothing to do with self-control or desires |
I totally get what you are saying. I suffer from severe depression on top of everything so thats why I get these thoughts.
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I am a Tourettey, Aspie obsessive compulsive! |
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